Dead Last
by rosesareblue
Summary: To win a warped bet, Sasuke crossdresses as a schoolgirl. A misogynist, he sees NO advantage in being a girl, till he meets the vocal of Konoha's hottest band. In order to woo a certain dobe, Sasuke must learn 'the darkest female arts': fangirling. BL.
1. Uchiha Sasuke

**Disclaimer:** Naruto is drawn and written by a fantastically splendid, wonderfully cute, and very talented manga artist: the Masashi Kishimoto. (And Kishimoto-san, if you are, by the slimmest chance, reading this and somehow understanding the English, please elope with me; I will bring the bags of onigiri.)

**Chapter Rating: **PG-13 (Hey, it's only chapter one)

**Author's Note:** I am still sated with the old-school Naruto cast so, yup, I'll just have to admit it, I'm not hip. GYAAAH! B-but, despite this, I do hope you enjoy my newest fic. Cheers!

**My E-mail:** rosesareblue at ymail dot com (Write me with any comments or suggestions. Remember, there's nothing like feedback that improves an author's moral/writing and keeps the chapters coming.)

**/ D E A D / L A S T /**

**By Rosesareblue**

_Chapter One: Uchiha Sasuke_

The raven-haired girl pushed a long strand of hair from her onyx eyes and neatly tucked it behind her ear, twitching her lips into a dark frown.

"A concert?" Sasuke echoed, staring incredulously from Sakura to Hinata. "You two are going to a rock concert?"

Sakura nodded, beaming, as Hinata blushed prettily.

"Of course, Ino's going too." Sakura announced.

"Huh," was all Sasuke grunted in reply, disinterestedly returning to stuffing her books into her schoolbag.

"Oh please, Sasuke-chan! Come with us, neh?! A chance like this doesn't come twice in a lifetime! I mean, front row seats to a Dead Last concert!!"

At the pink-haired girl's shrilled words, the entire classroom seemed to freeze. The silence was soon broken by the high-pitched shrieks of girls as they suddenly swarmed towards the threesome.

"Dead Last? Did you actually say Dead Last?"

"You guys are going to their concert?! Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!! I'm going to DIE of JEALOUSY!"

"And you'll get to see h-him up close, neh?!"

"Give the tickets to me?! I, I'll trade you my cell phone! And, and, here! You can have my credit card!"

"GYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

Sasuke forced her way through the crowd of girls, her head ringing with noise. It never ceased to amaze her how loud girls were, no matter how much time she spent with them. Shaking her head wearily, Sasuke hitched up her heavy book bag and started for the classroom door.

Of course, Sasuke mused as she headed for home, the reason loudness seemed to naturally find its way to her might have something to do with the fact she somehow found herself hanging out with the three most popular girls in school. Before Sasuke had transferred, Haruno Sakura had placed number one in every single school exam and Yamanaka Ino had unanimously been voted the prettiest girl in Konoha (what with her Cosmo-Girl figure and flawless complexion). Hyuuga Hinata was heir to Byakugan, a monstrous international conglomeration that made everything from pencils to high-tech submarines.

On Sasuke's first day in school, after she'd breezed through that morning's practice exams with perfect scores and after she'd received random love confessions from three boys during lunch break, a glowering Ino had accosted her with a red-faced Sakura and a timid Hinata trailing close behind her.

"Hey! You are the new girl, right?" The blonde had snapped.

Not at all intimidated, Sasuke had shrugged.

"And you really are an Uchiha? From that family that owns the dojo that, like, takes up a fourth of the city??"

At that, the raven-haired girl had vehemently glared, confirming Ino's question with the way she clenched her milky jaw in annoyance at being reminded of a fact that she seemed to desperately want to forget.

"I-In that case, I want to inform you that," Ino stammered on, a little bit taken aback by the dangerous vibes that suddenly radiated from the much, much taller girl. "You are a threat to me, and to my friends here."

"So?" The Uchiha had hissed curtly, not really caring at all of the reply.

"What do you mean 'so'?" Ino had snorted in reply, balling up her fists tightly. "There's only one thing we can do in this situation, obviously!"

Sasuke raised a dark aristocratic eyebrow in mild interest. "And what could that be?"

Ino smirked and, in a flash, thrust her hand mightily forward:

"Let's be friends!"

And that incident had been Sasuke's very first lesson in how absolutely strange the members of the female gender were.

By that time, the Uchiha had reached the sprawling gates of the dojo that she, unfortunately, called home. Sighing, the raven-haired girl pushed through the heavy doors and, ignoring all the chants of "Okaerinasai, Sasuke-sama," made her way down the long halls to her bedroom. Soundly closing and locking the door behind her, Sasuke stalked towards the full-length mirror plopped up against her far wall.

With glowing eyes, the raven-haired girl scrutinized her own reflection: Long midnight strands of hair spilled down her back and swung against her slender hips. The cursed black pin she was wearing effectively swept her long bangs from her face to reveal her ivory features. Anyone could see the delicate cheekbones, the high bridge of her nose, and the long black lashes of her eyes. Clad in the tailored sailor fukuu that hung loosely from her frame, Sasuke looked every centimeter a handsome schoolgirl, maybe a tad broad-shouldered and long-limbed for the normal female teenager, but undeniably attractive nonetheless.

All in all, Sasuke felt like a whore playing dress up.

Reaching up, Sasuke fisted a lock of glossy black hair and yanked off his wig, letting it drop to the floor. Quickly unbuttoning his shirt, he ripped off the padded bra and kicked it under his bed where he wouldn't have to look at it for another second. Unzipping his skirt and stepping out of it, Sasuke straightened up before his mirror again.

A milky-skinned young boy with tousled raven-hair glared back at him vehemently.

Two months ago, Sasuke remembered, he had finally told his father that he did not want to inherit the dojo. In fact, he'd added, he didn't want to have anything to do with the Uchiha name. Not at all. Instead, Sasuke wanted to move faraway from Konoha and, if at all possible, pursue a career in the theater (so he could spend the majority of his life pretending to be anybody else).

Sasuke had predicted his father's reaction to his sudden confession; Itachi would die laughing and/or decapitate Sasuke's head with a katana. Much to the raven-haired boy's surprise, his father did neither. Instead, Itachi had curtly asked:

"Are you any good?"

"What?"

"Are you any good at acting, foolish child?" Itachi had glared.

And Sasuke had confidently smirked in reply, "Of course; I'm really good at everything."

To which Itachi had grinned (freakishly) and hissed, "Prove it to me."

Promptly after this conversation, Uchiha Sasuke had been plucked out of his faraway boarding school (in which he had studied his ass off to get into in the first place on full scholarship so he could be away from the damned dojo) and had hastily been coerced into a (shudder, shudder) local high school. His mission? To live out the rest of his high school years as a girl without anyone discovering his (degrading) secret. After all, Itachi had sneered, if Sasuke had any talent in acting, the mission should be relatively easy.

Relatively.

That was why one misogynistic Uchiha Sasuke, who had always religiously detested girls (they swooned and made a fuss over everything, not to mention they were generally dimwitted) found himself impersonating one.

Looking into the mirror again, Sasuke noted how he abhorred his slender build, too similar with Itachi's; he detested his long tapered hands, also Itachi's; and, most of all, he couldn't stand the way his obsidian eyes gleamed black red when caught in certain lights, freakishly identical to Itachi's. Summary: He hated everything and anything that had to do with Itachi (aka that bastard). Possibly, he hated his father even more than he hated that goddamn padded bra he had to wear, which, really, was saying something.

Suddenly, a voice interrupted Sasuke's angsting.

"Sasuke-sama! Your friends are here to see you, should I admit their entrance?"

"Wha?! NO!" Sasuke bellowed at his maid. "Don't - "

"Sasuke-chan? Why did you leave without us?"

The raven-haired boy swore fluently under his breath as he heard the pink-haired girl's distinct voice echoing in the halls. Skidding towards his bed, he unearthed his bra and hooked it on (the Uchiha felt his skin crawl when he realized just how good he had become at putting on this article of clothing). He was just filling in his last button of his shirt when he heard the knock at his room door.

"Are you... by any chance... mad at... at us, Sasuke-san?"

Damn, so Hinata was here too. The raven-haired boy hurried to the door, hissing, "No, I'm not completely, utterly, devastatingly pissed off. I... "

And stopped, realizing that he was missing his wig. Doubling back to retrieve it and jerking it on angrily, Sasuke swung open his room door.

Expression coerced into a tight (and hopefully feminine) smile, the Uchiha heir hissed, "What do you want?"

A tattered Sakura waved a slim black (slight tattered) ticket in Sasuke's face, "Is that the thanks I get for risking my life to save this ticket for you from our classmates?"

An equally disheveled Hinata smiled shyly. "We're here to... to take you to the Dead Last concert."

The short-haired girl was blushing prettily at merely saying the name of her beloved band aloud. Sasuke almost rolled his eyes. Like hell he was going to dress up as a girl for longer than he had to in order to hang out with more-than-average (shudder, shudder) infatuated girls.

Sasuke swallowed his annoyed smirk and shook his head briskly. "I'm not interested in concerts. Plus, I've never even heard of this stupid group."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Sakura and Hinata gasped, round-eyed (Sasuke was surprised that Hinata's pearly eyes didn't pop out from the strain.)

"How did that happen?!" Sakura bleated, as if Sasuke had just confessed to her that he had leukemia. "They're only the hottest band that exists in... in every corner of the universe, if not all of eternity. You're definitely coming with us!"

"You'll regret... Sasuke-san... if you don't hear them play... at least once!" Hinata nodded, unusually passionately. "Dead Last is... Dead Last is... the best thing that could ever have happened to Konoha!"

Sasuke arched his eyebrows doubtfully. Correction: The best thing that could ever happen to Konoha was if a bomb dropped onto the Uchiha dojo and killed off Itachi. The raven-haired boy would have (scathingly) refused the girls again, when Sakura plowed into his room and headed for his closed wardrobe.

"I'll help you pick something to wear to the concert! That'll make you more excited, Sasuke-chan?!"

In his panic to head her off, Sasuke made the second biggest mistake of his life (the first being his own birth). He said:

"I'll decide for myself!"

Slowly, the pink-haired girl turned around with a huge grin on her face, recognizing the indirect promise at once. "Terrific, Sasuke-chan! Hinata and I'll go get changed too and come pick you up here in an hour, 'kay?"

And that's how one Uchiha Sasuke came to jeopardize his chance to fulfill Itachi's challenge and risk his freedom from the clan.

* * *

"So, these Dead Last people... they are really popular?" Sasuke asked, just to ask, as he tugged down on the front of his black t-shirt self-consciously.

Not having any other feminine clothing than his school uniform (since Sasuke hadn't planned on any extracurricular activities for as long as he was slave to Itachi's terms), the Uchiha had selected a big black t-shirt and black jeans. After tying his black wig into a high ponytail, Sasuke looked the average tomboy girl; the only reason he seemed so out of place was because he was walking alongside Sakura and Hinata.

The ends of Sakura's pink hair had been spiked every which way and her slim figure was flaunted by a dangerously low cut miniskirt. Her normally soft features had been painted in rouge tones, making her appearance shocking, either that or as if she'd recently been struck by lightening. Hinata, who Sasuke hadn't figured to be the type at all, had gone as far as to streak her short cropped hair with splashes of silver. Her sky blue dress lauded the curves of her body that her generous sailor fuuku had struggled to keep hidden. With the sparkles that'd been smoothed over Hinata's white complexion, the shy girl looked forbiddingly seductive (and alien).

At Sasuke's half-interested question about the rock band, both the overdressed girls exploded into a series of explanations:

"Sasuke-san... Dead Last was created... just last year..."

"Already on top of all the charts in Konoha, Sasuke-chan..."

"With... only four members..."

"The guitar, the bass, the drums, and, of course, the vocal..."

"The vocal!"

"All the boys in Dead Last are to die for!" Sakura finished with a squeal.

Sasuke winced at her loudness. "Ino likes this band too?"

"Are you kidding, Sasuke-chan?" The pink-haired girl giggled. "Ino's been head over heels in love with Dead Last's guitarist forever and ever and ever. Maybe even longer than that!"

"The guitarist... his name is Nara Shikamaru." Hinata added softly, reading the incomprehension in Sasuke's face. "He's the band leader and... and a true musical tensai."

"Yup, yup!" Sakura quipped lovingly. "I read somewhere that no one ever taught him how to play the guitar. He just plucked the strings a few times and, I don't know, rediscovered music for himself, I bet!"

As the two girls clasped hands and jumped up and down in unmitigated ecstasy, the cruel fact that he would have to suffer through a night with millions of rabid fan girls acting just as horrifically as his two classmates struck the raven-haired boy like a hammer to the head. Stress clawing his nerves raw, Sasuke managed to choke out in a more or less human-sounding voice, "So you two are both fans of this Shikamaru guy?"

At that, the two girls paused to share a meaningful look.

"Nuh-uh, Sasuke-chan." Sakura giggled, her cheeks flushing hot pink.

"You'll know who he is." Hinata nodded, smiling sagely. "Sasuke-san, you'll know as soon as you see him!"

At Sasuke's less than exhilarated response (the stoic boy was yawning), Sakura insisted, "There's not a single girl alive who won't fall for Dead Last. Before the night is done, Sasuke-chan, I promise you'll be in L.O.V.E.!"

"Wanna bet?" The Uchiha darkly muttered beneath his breath.

Sakura's and Hinata's lesson on Dead Last lasted through their pushing past a horde of girls and their being squashed into the front row seats. Even while Sasuke was wondering whether his head would really explode if he heard another 'They are so sexy, gyah/I love him so much, gyah,' the pink-haired girl and the Hyuuga heir continued to chatter about how the drummer could bench press over two hundred and fifty kilograms and how the bassist could instinctively replay any song he'd heard even once. When Ino somehow joined them by elbowing through the sea of savage female sharks, Sasuke was impressed that the blonde had managed the near miraculous feat without wilting off her outfit (which was sculpted out of dark purple roses). He was more impressed, however, that the feisty girl was somehow holding her tongue, till he realized it was because the blonde girl was nearly wringing her hands off as she stared towards the stage, starry-eyed and pupil-less.

By Ino's symptoms, Sasuke briefly contemplated whether, for once, Haruno Sakura wasn't over exaggerating.

Then, the lights in the concert hall dimmed even more and the Uchiha could no longer concentrate on anything but how loud everything was. The whole area erupted into shrieks and moans as a clashing electric cord screamed so loud it overlapped all the noise in the room. On the smoky stage, a filtered orange light spilled onto the shoulders of a slender brunette stroking a gleaming black guitar. Shaking back his shoulder length brown hair to reveal all the silver piercings he wore, the guitarist smothered his annoyed frown and dipped his handsome head in a shallow bow of greeting.

"SHI - KA - MA - RU!!" The auditorium exploded.

Sasuke saw out of the corner of his eyes that Ino had fallen to her knees, the strength having gone from her legs as she stared adoringly at her idol (who was now fiddling with the tuners of his guitar and somehow ignoring the bazillion rabid fan girls yelling out his name).

Soon, the second orange light illuminated long graceful fingers and smooth sturdy hands before slowly washing over the rest of the gangly figure till it alighted a shaggy haired boy with a summer tan and a playful grin. Red tattoos sliced down his boyish face and cut across the rest of his lithe body, as if the boy's entire being was a sacred seal that seeped out from his crimson instrument. With a beastly whoop, the bassist greeted the audience with a series of chords played so fast that they nearly sounded like one heart-stopping hum.

"KI - BA!!" The auditorium cheered and, when the brunette replied with a cocky smirk, Sasuke could literally feel the floor tilt from the number of girl's swooning.

Next, the third orange light revealed a much stouter boy's powerful frame, tracing the arcs of his toned torso and showing off just how glossy muscled arms could be. The rest of his body was layered in thick black bandages. The black make-up exaggerating his slitted eyes, his heavy jaw, and his spiky hair, the drummer was every centimeter the definition of scarcely suppressed power. When the big-boned boy brought his drumsticks clanging against his cymbals, Sasuke was sure that this was what it felt like to have one's head drilled clear through. The pain lasted only a split second, though, and, suddenly, even the stoic Uchiha was overwhelmed with just how much color the world had that he'd lived totally unaware of till that very moment.

"CHOU - JI!!" The fans cried, obediently swaying to even the drummer's practice beats. One girl tried to launch herself onto the stage towards Chouji, but was swiftly deterred by the other girls who (literally) stamped out her desires.

"Chouji?" The raven-haired boy yelled at Sakura and Hinata, hating that he had to raise his voice to be heard over all the noise. "Are you fans of the drummer?"

"No! We - "

But the pink-haired girl's reply was stillborn because, at that moment, the fourth light had flickered on. Instantly, the auditorium became silent. Out of the shower of scatter red-gold rays, a slim boy was stepping out. He wasn't dressed anywhere as elaborately as the other band members were - with minimum make-up and only one piece of jewelry. Even his entrance was simple; he just stalked out, casually leafing a hand through his messy hair, seemingly without a care in the world.

And he was singly the most glorious thing that Uchiha Sasuke had ever seen.

One second, Sasuke was peering uninterestedly at yet another poorly wired fan girl keel over and faint (and, hopefully, die there). The next, Sasuke was gawking at the reason why he'd suffered through almost seventeen years of life:

Taller than Shikamaru but shorter than Kiba. Blonde hair, very long. Not wispy white, but golden yellow. Falling all around him like rain; spilling down his neck, about his silky shoulder blades, and brushing against his unclothed back. He was slender, but definitely not fragile. He stood gracefully, while boasting a sort of defying arrogance of someone who was born to be one and only.

He had to be one and only.

The blonde stood up straighter so that everyone in the crowded hall could see that all he was wearing was a pair of pants that hung precariously on his hips. The boy wasn't even wearing shoes; beneath the black jeans, his feet were bare. The blonde's shirtless-ness, however, allowed Sasuke to fully appreciate the sun-kissed glow, the golden-smooth chest, the slim waist. The way his jaded necklace emphasized his naked neck and accented collarbone. The way one corner of his dewy lips lifted higher than the other in his beaming smile.

The way he was staring at Sasuke with eyes the color of electricity...

STARING AT HIM??

Sasuke almost jerked back in fright as his mind resurfaced from fawningly observing the blonde's body and screamed the crucial bit of information to his uncomprehending being: The. Blonde. God. Was. Looking. At. Him.

Meanwhile, the auditorium was beginning to chant, recovering from the spell the blonde's entrance had cast on them. "U-ZU-MA-KI-NA-RU-TO! U-ZU-MA-KI-NA-RU-TO!" Louder and louder, "U-ZU-MA-KI-NA-RU-TO!! GYAAAaaaaaaaaAH!!"

By Sasuke's side, Sakura was hysterical, jumping and waving frantically at the same time. Hinata was joyously weeping into her palms. And Uchiha Sasuke? As Dead Last's vocal lifted his otherworldly gaze from him, the raven-haired boy couldn't chant, couldn't wave, couldn't even cry. For god's sakes, Sasuke couldn't even think properly.

In that crucial moment, the only thing filling his mind was:

_"I didn't know I was gay."_

TBC

* * *

**Please review.**

Author's Note (in which Rosesareblue rambles because she's just so good at that): Lol. I'm glad most of you seem to like this. To tell you the truth, the fic was started just so I could stick in that last line: "I didn't know I was gay" (yes, I do strange things like this). As for _W Juliet_... really?! Lol. I knew it was about a crossdressing boy, but I didn't know it involved a dojo or an acting career (somehow I was under the impression it was about fashion - or, wait, is that _Tokyo Juliet_?) Actually, my inspiration for this fic came from a half an hour of reading _Hana Kimi_... But, either way, from what I researched (aka wikipedia-ed) on _W Juliet_, it's a lot about acting...? The focus of this fic is on Naruto and his band and not the acting career of a crossdressing Sasuke (who, did I mention, is a misogynist?); so I assure y'all that you'll have something original to read. That said, I hope you are looking forward to the next chapter!

P.S. For those of you who asked - it's SasuNaru. As some of my most avid fans know, I don't do NaruSasu (not to flame anyone's BL fantasy; just my personal mantra as a rabid yaoi fangirl). Why? Well, for one, Sasuke is physically bigger - in the manga and anime too. Two, since I like Naruto about five thousand times more than I like Sasuke (because Sasuke keeps picking on him by doing shit like drilling his hand through his lungs!!), I can forgive Naruto for showing favor to another guy but not Sasuke doing the same - and this leniency is usually granted the uke (biased - of course). Plus, I like the wolf goes after the fox setting; I'm traditional in that way, I suppose...

Lastly, why SasuNaru? Yukigakure - need I say more? Lol.

But the most important thing is, I hope you enjoyed reading this fic. Tell me what you think and feel; I'm here to serve. And, SasuNaru hearts to y'all as always, Rosesareblue.


	2. Uzumaki Naruto

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is drawn and written by a fantastically splendid, wonderfully cute, and very talented manga artist: the Masashi Kishimoto. (And Kishimoto-san, if you are, by the slimmest chance, reading this and somehow understanding the English, please elope with me; I will bring the bags of onigiri.)

**Chapter Rating: **PG-13

**Author's Note:** Let's see now… there were a LOT of questions from fans that I wanted to address…

1. Do not tell me "I'm sorry I'm writing you this really long review and taking up space/your time…" Why? Because I ADORE you for the very thing you are apologizing for. I remember all the names of my reviewers, but poignant comments I never forget – which, I suppose, is another thing all together. I mean, I love all my readers; I write for those who review; yet, I _respect_ those who let me know what they thought in detail. In a way it's biased – but it's such a human bias that I can't help indulge it.

2. Please refrain from using the symbols over the comma and period key (the triangular thingies?); everything thereafter will not show up and I'd hate not to hear from you.

3. The possibility of getting a beta, I've thought of and decided against. Not out of conceit more than I'm already pretty darn late in getting my chapters up. I don't really think it's worth delaying updates even more (I can hear some fans groaning, 'WTF, it can get even slower than this?') to correct small mistakes and typos. As long as the errors aren't obstructing you from having fun reading, I think it'll be all right.

4. **Kunoichi.** Yes, I consciously deleted it. The number of reviews weren't particularly high for this work – which told me that general interest was low. And, because I intend to finish all the fics I have up (though it may take awhile), having Kunoichi there seemed like a false promise. Sorry, guys, but I don't have a lot of spare time and I have to prioritize ffs depending on reader interest. So, really, if you like one of fics, please support it by leaving at least a minimal review.

Now, I will shut up and let you read. I hope you enjoy my latest installment!

**My E-mail:** rosesareblue at ymail dot com (Write me with any comments or suggestions. Remember, there's nothing like feedback that improves an author's moral/writing.)

**/ D E A D / L A S T /**

**By Rosesareblue**

_Chapter Two: Uzumaki Naruto_

Sasuke twitched with his still burning face buried deep into the folds of his pillow. The Uchiha heir had returned home almost three hours ago and, for the very first time since Itachi had issued the challenge, hadn't changed out of his girl disguise the moment he'd locked his room door behind him. Instead, the raven-haired boy hadn't moved at all from the spot since he initially collapsed there – wanting to drown in his black blankets.

Because, to be absolutely frank, Uchiha Sasuke could not for the life of him remember what _Dead Last_ sounded like – _at all_. A freaky confession from a person fresh back from a rock concert. Even freakier when said person had also somehow managed to tune out the screams of all those hundreds of banshees around him.

It wasn't as if the raven-haired boy had slacked off; on the contrary, Sasuke doubted he'd ever concentrated so much on just one thing in the entire span of his life. The Uchiha had been reduced to a pair of gleaming reddish-black eyes, hungrily swallowing the _Dead Last_ vocal's every movement. That's why Sasuke, willingly suffocating against his covers that moment, could easily conjure a perfect image of Uzumaki Naruto – down to the shade of black eyeliner that had rimmed the blonde's shocking blue eyes to the redness of his tongue just visible behind his delicious looking lips. Those lips would always open to sing… to sing…

_What?_

In frustration, Sasuke pounded yet another pillow into a pulp (his fourth victim that night). Why couldn't he remember just one lyric? One lyric to add sound to his glorious fantasy about the blonde? Any wet dream about Uzumaki Naruto should be feature-length and in wide-screen; all-color and all-sound, of course; with state of the art graphics (and rated NC-17 billion plus). After all, the blonde was _perfect_.

Because Sasuke had loved the way Naruto's hair spilled onto his chest when he leaned forward. Because Sasuke had loved the way Naruto's impossibly blue eyes lit up when he chuckled. Because Sasuke had loved the way dews of sweat clung onto Naruto's nakedness when he climaxed in his song. Above all, Sasuke had loved that Naruto was perfect.

And who could say that Uzumaki Naruto didn't love Uchiha Sasuke back?? Okay, well, maybe not _love_ him back – but the blonde had certainly noticed the raven-haired boy at the concert that night despite the massive crowd surrounding him. Sasuke could have sworn that Naruto had met his gaze thrice after that first stare. Because of that, for an insane moment after the last ambiguous glance, Sasuke had wanted to steal a mike and announce into it, "Uzumaki Naruto. Step closer to me so I can ogle you better."

Luckily, the urge withered away when Sasuke realized that the other fan girls would tie him to a stake and burn him on the very spot. And suddenly, Sasuke's life was worth a helluva lot more to him now that he knew that the blonde was alive too. There! They already had something in common. Uchiha Sasuke was alive and Uzumaki Naruto was also – perfectly, beautifully, deliciously – alive…

The raven-haired boy suddenly jerked up and off his bed. He was done mooning over the blonde as if he were some… some _girl_. Gracefully leaping to his feet, the Uchiha pocketed his wallet and bolted out of his room (completely forgetting that it was almost two in the morning). Sasuke wasn't sure just how much money he had in his account, but what with his generous allowance and his non-existent spending history, he was confident that he had enough for his purposes.

Unfortunately, not many record stores were open in the dead of the night. The Uchiha was seriously contemplating ramming his fist through the bolted shop window (he wasn't the heir to the dojo for nothing) when he remembered there was a huge Byakugan department complex in the center of Konoha downtown to accommodate nightlife fanatics like himself. Without a second thought to what a 15 kilometer distance meant, the raven-haired boy went sprinting into the darkness.

At six o'clock that same morning, a really sweaty and even more determined Sasuke was securing his last poster over the ceiling of his bed. A life-size Uzumaki Naruto grinned felinely down at him, sprawled out on a metal table wearing nothing but black fur. Over the Uchiha's desk, another large poster featured the blonde impossibly tangled in equipment cords and pouting at the camera. And behind his mirror, the _Dead Last_'s vocal was crouched – flashing the Uchiha a cocky thumbs-up sign.

Besides the seventeen new posters, there were the more expensive purchases: Sasuke, who'd never before really seen a point to music, had lugged home an extravagant new stereo system (without a word of complaint, either). Piled neatly next to the flashy device were _Dead Last_'s first album and their previous four singles, arranged neatly next to Sasuke's new mp3 and cdp. Smugly nodding at his poster of an adorable Naruto in swimming trunks lifting his hands over his head in victory signs, Sasuke popped in a CD and – cranking up the volume – headed for the shower.

As the cool water washed over his body, the Uchiha listened to Uzumaki Naruto huskily croon about not putting one's life on hold and – for the very first time in his life – believed in the truth of another's words.

That first morning was a historic moment because, from that faithful day, Sasuke's barren room begin to fill – unreservedly and irreversibly – with the one and only Uzumaki Naruto.

* * *

"It's 179 centimeters, you moron!!"

"BAKA! Maybe you should get your skull checked for cracks because I'm POSITIVE that it's 177 centimeters!"

"Who are you calling baka, baka?!"

The final exams had passed (Sasuke had placed at the head of his class – a full fourteen points ahead of an irate Sakura who hadn't yet gotten used to being number two… but he couldn't really take credit for his accomplishment. He was pretty sure his efficiency had been greatly enhanced since he'd started listening to Naruto sing whenever he studied). To the Uchiha, it seemed like his female classmates were louder than ever (if that was even possible); everyone was more than ready for spring vacation – including the raven-haired boy. Sasuke had started working after school in a record shop (because the job granted him access to certain merchandise featuring a certain blonde before the rest of the world) and, through his work, the raven-haired boy had found out that a local lottery was going to be held for admission to a back-to-school music event with the members of _Dead Last_. The Uchiha did_ not_ believe something as crucial as tickets to a _Dead Last_ concert should be left to chance and was looking forward to using his spare time to hack into the lottery computer system.

"I'm telling you for the last time that he's 179 centimeters!"

"If you don't agree that he's 177 centimeters right this minute, I'm going to rip the corners of your mouth with my sharpie!!"

A harried boy sitting behind the Uchiha interrupted the girls' argument (Sasuke was pretty sure his name started with Kyo – or was that Sho?), scowling, "Who cares how tall that Uzubaki Naruto, or whatever his name is, is? No one else gives a d – "

"178 centimeters." Sasuke hissed, his voice pressed with unassailable authority. "Uzu_ma_ki Naruto is 178 centimeters."

"I didn't know you liked _Dead Last_ too, Sasuke-chan." Kyo-or-Sho muttered glumly.

"Hmph." Sasuke smirked, totally ignoring the depressed look on the boy's face and the embarrassed look on the girls'. Of course, the Uchiha couldn't forget the fabulous fact that the blonde was 178 centimeters. The last time he'd checked, the raven-haired boy had measured 181 centimeters himself. Which meant, if Sasuke ever _pursued_ a, say, _relationship_ with Naruto, the three-centimeter-shorter blonde would surely be the u-

"Nara Shikamaru's 175 centimeters." Ino said dreamily, floating over the Sasuke's desk on hearing the crucial words _Dead Last_. With her eyes cloudy, the blonde girl's thigh collided with the corner of the Uchiha's desk and the pain brought her, swearing fluently, from her la-la land.

"And Akimichi Chouji's 172 centimeters tall." Sakura called out bossily from across the room, not to be outdone.

"Inuzuka Kiba… is 183… 183 centimeters." Hinata added softly, blushing.

"You girls are crazy!" Kyo-or-Sho (still crabby because the raven-haired Venus was obviously interested in another boy) groaned obnoxiously. "It's not like you'll ever _meet_ these people or something. Besides, who knows? This Uzumaki guy could be gay!"

"NANDAYO?!" The two girls hollered on cue (one diving fore her pointed sharpie).

"So-son na…" Hinata paled, her plump lips trembling harshly. "Ryoichi-san… wh-what a horrible thing to say!"

And Sakura was already cracking her fingers, her green eyes twitching, "I'll give you three – no, two seconds to finish writing up your will, Ryoichi-chaaaan."

"You sure?!" Sasuke whipped around to face his classmate (maybe for the first time that year). The raven-haired boy's eyes were snapping with glee. "You really think Uzumaki Naruto is gay?!"

A cold wind seemed to whip through the classroom at the Uchiha's rare cheerful voice. As Sasuke realized what he'd said, a faint pink started to spread across his ivory features. Polite Hinata recovered from utter shock first:

"I… I didn't know you were… a… a yaoi fangirl, Sasuke-san."

"Well, I only have to say Naruto better not be gay with Shikamaru!" Ino growled, folding her arms grumpily.

* * *

Sasuke stalked out of the dojo's main gates, his obsidian eyes flashing crimson red in his unadulterated anger. As of today, he was starting his second year at Konoha. The good news was that the Uchiha now only had to suffer through his (humiliating) secret for two more years. The bad news was that despite his superior efforts during spring break, the raven-haired boy had not managed to manipulate the _Dead Last_ concert lottery (as it turned out, the Uchiha hadn't been the first to try the hacking method and the computer system had been meticulously built to ward off even computer tensais). The worse news was that, with the end of vacation, Sasuke could no longer spend all day sulking in his bedroom – staring at the blonde's posters and drinking in the blonde's voice for comfort. And, the worst news of all was that this morning the Uchiha had woken up screaming Naruto's name and had found himself tangled in his black covers that were (embarrassingly) soggy. Sasuke had to stand in the freezing shower for over a fucking hour so that there wouldn't be a foreign bulge in his fuuku skirt (my, that would have been a big give away…).

Yes, Uchiha Sasuke was not in a good mood that day (to say the least).

As the raven-haired boy strutted to school (slugging savagely at the brick wall he was walking alongside and leaving a Morse Code of gaping holes), he caught sight of a spiky black-haired boy hurrying to school in front of him. By the looks of him, he was a first year because he seemed clueless and quite dumb: He was sloppily dressed in Sasuke's school's uniform, which was maybe three sizes too big for him; his pants legs were trailing on the floor and his sleeves covered his hands entirely. Not only that, he was wearing a moth-eaten overcoat (in the middle of spring?) and dragging a putrid orange scarf behind him. Soon the boy tripped into the busy intersection right as a charging taxi rounded the corner at illegal speed, the Uchiha raised a dark eyebrow in an expression of disinterest – foreseeing the imminent crash.

Then, another thought crossed Sasuke's mind. If this moronic first year died, there might be a traffic jam – in which case, Sasuke might be late for school. But Hinata had promised to bring her Neko Naruto poster that was incredibly rare with only five hundred copies in existence. (The Uchiha hadn't been able to purchase this vital poster because it'd been on sale before he'd known the important existence of _Dead Last_.) Sasuke had it all worked out though: he'd just commit one tiny murder and, soon, Neko Naruto would be hanging in his own room. Thus, the raven-haired boy had to get to school before another girl stole his great idea and killed Hinata first. Which meant, Sasuke couldn't risk a traffic jam.

In a flash, the raven-haired boy darted into the road and, snatching up the black-haired boy in his arms, skidded out of the insane taxi's destruction zone.

Rubbing his bleeding wrist that'd dragged painfully on the sidewalk, Sasuke barked at the spiky-haired first year. "Watch where you are going, you idiot!"

The dim-witted first year scratched his short hair sheepishly, saying, "I couldn't really see."

The Uchiha narrowed his eyes disdainfully, disliking that the idiot's voice was throaty and affected. Scoffing, Sasuke jabbed a finger at the thick, tacky sunglasses perched crookedly on the bridge of the boy's nose.

"Maybe that had something to do with the fact you are wearing those." Sasuke hissed.

The boy laughed nervously, straightening the ugly glasses on his nose. "I – ah – I need these. They're a… a hair room from my mother."

"Don't you mean heirloom, dobe?" Sasuke asked, dumbfounded by the younger boy's stupidity.

"Right. A hair room." With that, the boy cheerfully bounced up off the ground (obviously, he wasn't hurt at all) and used his billowing sleeves to dust himself off before offering Sasuke a hand.

Ignoring the first year's hand, the Uchiha briskly got to his feet and turned to go.

"Neh?! Sempai…?" The boy hollered, tripping on his pant legs as he scurried after Sasuke. "I don't really know the way to school. Can we walk together?"

"Whatever." The Uchiha shrugged, frowning. "Just walk fast."

"You're a lifesaver!" The black-haired boy crowed, grinning his head off. "Y'know, y'know, I definitely owe you something! Name anything!"

At that, Sasuke stared exasperatedly at the puppy-like first year out of the corner of his eyes and snapped, "Dobe, I am not a charity-case like you; I have everything anyone could ever want."

"Heh…? Then how come you have this deep, deep, deepdeepdeep! line between your eyes, huh?" The spiky-haired boy drawled. "Doesn't look like the face of someone who has everything to me!"

By this time, the Uchiha was at the end of his (very short) rope. "Fine, then! I can name anything, dobe?! Then get me tickets to the _Dead Last_ back-to-school concert. Either that or go find another taxi to play road kill with."

"_Dead Last_?" The (incredibly) annoying first year repeated, wrinkling his nose. "Why do girls like a third class band like _Dead Last_, anyway?"

Not realizing that a vein had started to throb against the Uchiha's otherwise flawlessly milky forehead, the dobe continued to ramble on as they neared the school gates.

"Alright, so maybe the guitar and the bass are pretty good. And the drummer is talented, sure. But that vocal? Puh-leeze! He's, like, a living boy band nightmare. He can't really sing in that weird voice of his but people let him pretend he can because he has a pretty face. Tell me that's not a tragedy of commercialism – "

The first year didn't finish his sentence, because – in the next instant – Sasuke had him by the collar and was pinning him against the school wall.

"Listen carefully, dobe, because I'm only going to say this once." The Uchiha hissed in a deadly low voice, even forgetting his girlish tremor in his immediate anger. "Yeah, I admit that the _Dead Last_ vocal has an unusual voice; it's scarred in a way that's almost painful to listen to, yet at the same time you can't stop listening because you're sure you'll drown in meaninglessness if his song stops. Yeah, that's right, he has a voice that actually knows unadulterated loneliness and is singing out to the few others that were also cursed with knowing. So, did you even try to hear or were you too busy counting fan girls, presuming you can count, to appreciate another person's hard efforts?"

Releasing the squirming black-haired boy and curtly dusting off his hands in disgust, Sasuke narrowed his eyes and spat, "I suggest you don't insult things you know nothing about."

"Sempai, I'm sorry. I just thought…" The first year started to gag out when he was cut off by a pink-haired whirlwind shoving him out of the way to clutch onto the raven-haired boy's arm.

"SASUKE-CHAN!!" Sakura squealed, not even noticing that the Uchiha's obsidian eyes were still flickering red in fury and that, behind her, a shaggy, black-haired boy was on his knees and frantically searching for his dropped sunglasses. "YOU'LL NEVER GUESS! UZUMAKI NARUTO IS HERE IN OUR SCHOOL!!"

"WHAT?" The raven-haired boy snapped.

"UZUMAKI NARUTO IS IN CLASS 1-A RIGHT THIS MINUTE!!" The pink-haired girl yelled. "I JUST GOT A PHONE CALL FROM INO!"

At the loud declaration, a stampede of girls rushed towards the school gates screaming at the top of their lungs. Uchiha Sasuke was easily maneuvering through the crowd (because he wasn't caring how many other girls he sort of had to punch out, just as long as he was in the lead). Haruno Sakura wasn't having very much trouble either (because she wasn't really minding having to sort of flip some girls over her shoulders, just as long as she was close behind Sasuke).

In all that hassle, no one noticed a spiky, black-haired first year gingerly picking up the shards of broken sunglasses and, with a sigh, flinging the pieces over his shoulders in weary exasperation.

"Mou…" He muttered darkly. "That didn't go too well."

* * *

As it turned out, there was no Uzumaki Naruto in 1-A. (Sasuke should have foreseen that the possibility was too good to be true.) The false rumor had spread when a (brain-deprived) first year (cow) had found Naruto's name scribbled in the attendance book. Of course, it had never occurred to the (intelligence-lacking) first year (baboon) that her female homeroom teacher might possible be a _Dead Last_ fan, considering that 99.999999 of the female population were _Dead Last_ fans. (The Uchiha was momentarily grateful of his own sad circumstance because, though his family was pretty fucked up, at least his being a girl wouldn't last.)

Also, as it turned out, Hinata had not only brought her Neko Naruto poster to school but her Neko Naruto poster _bodyguard_ to school as well. The Hyuuga heir had cutely explained that though she was a little bit embarrassed about the over-precaution, she felt that Neko Naruto deserved no less. (The short-haired girl could not have known that during calculus, Sasuke had silently loaded his muffled gun and slickly taken exact aim at the back of her head. He only curved his plan when the bodyguard had frenetically signed to him that Hinata's real precaution was that she only brought her poster _copy_ to school. The real Neko Naruto was hanging in the innermost safe of a maximum security Byakugan Bank. Because this somehow made sense to his (warped) mind, Sasuke didn't kill anyone – even while solving limit proofs.)

So, the day crawled by and a thousand years seemed to pass before the second years and the third years were shepherded off to witness the first years' orientation ceremony. Half-interestedly scanning the room, the Uchiha noticed that the annoying black-haired dobe was no where to be seen. Smirking, Sasuke guessed that the idiot had probably become lost on his way to the auditorium.

Sure enough, just as the ceremony was coming to a close, the auditorium doors were clunked open and the disheveled boy (who Sasuke saw had acquired a another (fashion victim) pair of black goggles, which were so thick that the glasses looked opaque) scampered in yelling, "Sorry! Sorry! I kinda made, like, thirteen wrong right turns so I couldn't find – GAH!! Is the orientation thing almost over?"

As scattered laughter filled the auditorium, the principal – who had been yakking endlessly till that moment – barked into the mike, "And who would you be, son?"

"I would be a first year." The black-haired boy shrugged, looking uncomfortably around for a seat.

"I was requesting your name." The principal pried.

"Oh." The boy winced. "Ah, well, my name is… not that big a deal. It's like everyone else's name, you know, like Shinji or Kyohei or Takuya…" The spiky-haired boy flashed a not-so-innocent grin, finishing, "So it's really not that interesting!"

"I wonder which would be more interesting." The principal hissed icily. "Your name or, say, detention for the rest of your natural life?"

The first year twitched, then gave a long defeated sigh. Reaching up and pulling off his spinning spectacles, the boy slowly raised his face. The principal instantly turned into a slab of rock. The auditorium became as noiseless as death. And Sasuke's heart literally stopped pounding all together.

"Uzumaki Naruto." The boy said, his electric blue eyes glowing and his voice losing its affected tremor and ringing wonderfully huskily like the rock star he was. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto in Class 1-A."

* * *

**Author's Note:** I keep flipping from he/she when I refer to Sasuke – but since he's crossdressing, I figure that's okie… Anyway, please review and let me know what you think about characs/story/what's to come! As always, much SasuNaru love!! Rosesareblue.


	3. True Fangirl

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is drawn and written by a fantastically splendid, wonderfully cute, and very talented manga artist: the Masashi Kishimoto. (And Kishimoto-san, if you are, by the slimmest chance, reading this and somehow understanding the English, please elope with me; I will bring the bags of onigiri.)

**Chapter Rating: **R (And it's only chapter three!)

**Author's Note:** This fic was the next to be updated because it had the highest review to hit ratio and I figured my readers were that into it. On a vaguely related note, my soul cries out: "SasuNaru forever!" Lol.

**My E-mail:** rosesareblue at ymail dot com (Write me with any comments or suggestions. Remember, there's nothing like feedback that improves an author's moral/writing.)

**/ D E A D / L A S T / **

**By Rosesareblue**

_Chapter Three: True Fangirl_

Pandemonium acquired a new definition: Half the auditorium exploded towards the slightly scared blonde, desperate hands reaching desperately forward, while the other half, including one Uchiha Sasuke, stood bolted to the ground in absolute shock. The crisis was (somewhat) subdued when all the (male) teachers ordered the first years and all the (female) teachers back to their classrooms (the girls in class 1-A were ecstatic to carry out this instruction, hauling a blushing and apologizing Naruto away on their shoulders) and commanded the second and third years back to their own classrooms (which, predictably, took much, much more coercion; there were ruts in the cement all the way back to the senior classrooms to prove it.)

Even (locked) in their own classroom again, the excitement did not abate. While Ino throttled their teacher, Haruno Sakura, who equated the value of her life with her GPA, suddenly shot her hand up to demand, "So, how stupid do you have to be to get sent back to first year?? Because I bet I can pull of a D if I really, really tried." Her question was succeeded by shy Hinata wailing, "Can't we go visit 1-A for… for just a second? It's not… not fair that something as… as important as what class you are in is decided by… decided by trivial things like how old you are!!"

To which their harassed instructor (finally freeing himself of Ino's vice like grip and licking the deep scratch marks running up and down his arms), choked out, "Okay, listen: All the first years are being let out early today so… whoever aces this quiz can go out and see him leave, alright?"

The plan didn't go quite as smoothly as the teacher had planned. Instantly, one girl started threatening her boy partner with her armpit razor – swearing that she'd skin his neck if he didn't tell her the answer to problem fourteen. Another group of girls sat huddled together, blatantly discussing the test as if they were determining the fate of the entire universe. And yet another girl was bawling and trying to hang herself using her own boy partner's necktie, howling, "Why history? Out of all those blasted subjects, why does history actually come to use in my life – waaaaaah!! It's just too _cruueeel_!!"

Sasuke, quickly solving the history problems, lay his perfect test on the teacher's desk and, followed by Sakura, Ino, and Hinata, rushed out of their noisy, blood-stained classroom in search of Uzumaki Naruto.

* * *

"I – I'm sorry I can't walk home with… with every single one of you cos, cos someone's coming to pick me up!" Uzumaki Naruto was saying, hastily walking (more like running without trying to seem like it) in front of his massive harem of (wildly pleading) girls.

"That's okay!" The nearest girl giggled madly, flipping her hair over her shoulder in wild succession. "I'll just wait by the school gates till you come back. I don't mind waiting for several hours – or days, for that matter!"

"I can wait for years!" Another girl put in, linking her arms through the blonde's. "Or maybe decades!"

She was quickly sent back to her ancestors by two punching girls, yelling, "Get off Uzumaki Naruto, baka! Can't you see you're making him uncomfortable?!"

That said, the two turned adoring gazes on the blonde – who squirmed very, very uncomfortably.

"Look, I really have to go." Naruto insisted, sliding silkily out of the girls' sticky fingers. "I'll see all of you tomorrow, 'kay?"

With a backward wave, the blonde bolted towards the school gates just as a black minivan came charging through them at amazing speed.

That moment, Sasuke – finally having managed to push to the head of the throng of girls – saw the impending collision and bellowed, "UZUMAKI NARUTO! GET OUT OF THE WAY!!"

Luckily, the mini-van lurched to a stop a breath away from the panting blonde. The driver's seat door opened, quickly, and an alarmingly seductive silver-haired man got out. Skimming the crowd with a mildly amused look on his masked face, the man drawled down at the fallen blonde, "Having fun, Naru-chan?"

"A barrel of laughs, Kakashi sensei." Naruto muttered sarcastically, his lips twisting into a sardonic scowl as he leapt, cat-like, to his feet. "You could have shown up a little more subtly, huh?!"

"That's Hatake Kakashi." Sakura breathed out in awe, having forced her way to the front as well. "He's _Dead Last_'s head manager."

Sasuke frowned, the 'Naru-chan' that had come from the older man's lips stroking him in all the wrong ways. As the silver-haired man instantly began to tape off the space around Naruto (the Uchiha had to hand it to this Kakashi guy though, he was pretty apt at this manager stuff; where did all that tape – which, by the way it cackled, obviously was flowing with electrical charges – and steel poles come from, anyway?), the passenger seat door flew open and another tall man practically fell out of the black minivan.

"NA-RUUUUUUU-TO!!" The attractive pony-tailed man wailed, lurching towards the startled blonde. "What happened to you? You're so… you're so…"

"Iruka sensei?" Naruto blinked. "Calm down, neh? I'm fine, I just…"

"You're soooooOOoo UGLY!!" The pony-tailed man crowed, jerking off the blonde's (pathetic) overcoat and (pitiful) scarf and shredding the articles of clothing to nothing with his bare hands. "And, and there's no ROMANSU in your high school uniform – _at all_! Your costume's a… a _blasphemy_!!"

"That's Umino Iruka." Hinata whispered, appearing at Sasuke's side and looking over to where the blonde was comfortingly patting the hysterically weeping man's back. "He's _Dead Last_'shead clothing coordinator."

As the Uchiha was raising a disapproving eyebrow at the cute pony-tailed man (if the jerk called Uzumaki Naruto ugly again, Sasuke swore – clothing coordinator or not – he would have another scar on the bridge of his nose), the back seat of the minivan promptly slid open and a slender brunette got out of the car - stretching his well-toned arms over his head. Instantly, all the girls seemed to come to an arranged standstill.

Yawning, the brunette grinned lazily over at the blonde (whose uniform was currently being edited by a pin-happy-Iruka). "How was your first day of school, Naruto?"

"Terrific." The blonde snorted wryly, waving Iruka away (but not before the determined pony-tailed man had made sure the uniform now boasted a S-line). "Or better than I expected, anyway."

The arrogantly handsome brunette smirked. "I told you it'd be troublesome."

"And that's…that's…" Ino seemed to have trouble breathing, shaking in her high tops and leaning against to the raven-haired boy for much needed support. "That's… _Shikamaru_."

"Gah! What happened to your hair, Naruto?" Another brunette jumped out the car, his lanky frame twisting silkily around with a canine grace. "Or is that your idea of a very bad joke?"

The blonde blushed and fingered his short black tresses self-consciously. "Thanks a lot, Kiba. Thought I'd get it cut – you know, to keep a low profile at school… Didn't really work though…"

Kiba snorted. "The spikes look good on you, dobe. But don't you think dyeing it was a little drastic? You wanna kill Iruka sensei? _Literally_??"

Glancing fearfully at a drowning-in-tears Iruka, Naruto interjected hastily, "The color washes off with water. It's a one day thing! I thought that if I managed a quiet first day of school – "

" – that everyone will overlook the fact that _Dead Last_'s vocal is in their class for the rest of the year?" The last boy stepped from the car, arching his narrow eyes teasingly and athletically twirling a water bottle in his large, handsome hands. "Great plan, baka Naruto."

"Shut up, Chouji!" The blonde growled defensively, snatching the water bottle from the other boy's hands. Deftly unscrewing the cap, Naruto crouched over to rain the cool water over his dark hair; immediately, sticky black ink started to slide off his glossy locks. Straightening up, the blonde shook the water from his damp spiky hair and, totally ignoring the protest of his water splattered teammates, ran a casual hand through his short shining tresses – now glinting an unhindered gold in the identical sunlight. (Many of the watching girls had to pause in their gawking to wipe the drool flowing plentifully from the corners of their lips.)

"He looks even cuter with spiky hair!!" Sakura drawled excitedly, her green eyes having already been replaced by pulsing hearts.

"And a little bit younger." Hinata echoed, shyly.

If the Uchiha had known that he was subconsciously bobbing his head dreamily, he would have been mortified. (Luckily, he was too distracted that moment to know.) At last, he was revived from his stupor by the sounds of screaming girls (who were now finding out that the warning tape was electric through touch). The shrieks seemed to capture Uzumaki Naruto's attention as well because – after a quick look around – the blonde raced towards Kakashi to whisper confidentially into the older man's ear.

Receiving an amused nod from the silver-haired man, the blonde doubled back – heading straight towards Uchiha Sasuke. (Of course, the raven-haired boy's body chose that moment out of all to freeze and totally malfunction.)

"Sempai?" Naruto smiled widely at him and Sasuke felt the blonde's face merge with his memorized metal table/black fur poster back home. "Here! Three tickets to the back-to-school concert for you and your friends – just like I promised! I don't have to play road kill anymore, neh?"

All a stunned Sasuke managed in reply as a grinning Naruto dropped the tickets into his (sweating the Niagara Falls) hands was "U-Uff."

"She means 'thank you so much'!" Sakura squealed, beaming enthusiastically at a confused Naruto.

"I… I… think you are a… wonderful singer, Naruto-sama." Hinata breathed, blushing for all she was worth. "I always… listen to your songs before I… before I go to sleep… They are… like… like water…"

"Er, thanks." Naruto smiled, slightly embarrassed. Flashing Sakura and Hinata a grateful smile and – with one last funny look back at a still tongue-tied Sasuke – the blonde romped back towards the rest of his band (who were watching the exchange with poorly concealed entertainment), when –

"W-WAIT!! SU – TO – PU!!"

The blonde froze. In fact, everyone in a 1 kilometer radius of the school gates froze. It was said in that kind of loud (and horribly cracked) voice. Whipping back around, Naruto stared curiously at a very-very-red-faced Ino trembling behind the (electric) tape.

"I – ah – I'm a – I'm a – a – what do you call that thing when you hang around with a person a lot and shop and watch movies together and are very close and stuff?" Ino babbled, not practicing her usual articulacy (at all).

"Um, a friend?" The blonde guessed, bewildered.

"Right! That's it!! A – a friend!" Ino jerked her head up and down violently. "I'm a – a friend of Sasuke's too and I… and I…" Here, the pretty blonde girl flashed a terrified look towards a mildly frowning Shikamaru and belted out noisily, "I just have to go the concert too! I just _have_ to!!"

Uzumaki Naruto stared, open-mouthed, at a hysteric Ino in surprise. Finally, comprehension shone in his shocking blue eyes and his puzzled expression was replaced with a impish grin. Turning to his annoyed band leader, the blonde cocked his head to one side – very knowingly. Rolling his eyes and muttering 'troublesome' under his breath, Shikamaru slowly made his way towards the (slowly dying) blonde girl.

Reaching into his pocket and retrieving a slightly crumpled ticket, Shikamaru grabbed Ino's right hand and pressed the ticket into her palm, whispering in his deep voice, "Please come."

Ino's reaction was a little better than Sasuke's (but not by a lot). She managed to cry, passionately, "U-Ugo!"

"Er, yeah." Shikamaru nodded, turning back away and leading a still teasing Naruto back towards the minivan – while somehow ignoring the (rabid) howls of the (rabid) fangirls:

"WHAT ABOUT ME?! I'M SASUKE'S FRIEND TOO – FROM TODAY ON!!"

"CHOUJI-KUN!! PLEASE JUST LOOK THIS WAY AND I'LL DIE HAPPY!!"

"KI – BA – GYaaaaaaaaah!! KI – BA – GYaaaaaaaaaaaah!!"

"SHIKAMARU-SAMA! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"

"CHOU – JI – KUN! JUST – ONE – GLANCE!!"

"KI – BA – GYaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! KI – BA – GYYYYYaaaaaaaaaaah!!"

And of course, underlying all this was:

"NARUTO! WAAAAaaaahhhH! NARUTO!!"

"SASUKE'S TOO TALL FOR YOU! I'M SO MUCH SHORTER!!"

"IF YOU NEEDED ME TO, I COULD RIP OUT A KIDNEY AND BOTH LUNGS!!"

"PLEASE LET ME VIOLATE YOU!!" (Er, what the…)

"UZUMAKI NARUTO! GYaaaaaaAAAHHH!"

"I LOVE YOUR NEW HAIR! I LOVE YOUR EYES! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!"

Unfortunately for the other fans, as soon as Kakashi had gathered back his electric tape and steel poles (which took only a blink of an eye – almost like he was a ninja (suspicious, suspicious)), the minivan carrying _Dead Last_ blasted away as quickly as it had come – leaving Sasuke, Sakura, Hinata, and Ino alone to gallantly protect their tickets from the crazed masses of hormone driven teenage girls (scary).

* * *

Smirking smugly, Uchiha Sasuke stalked into his bedroom - clutching a slightly scrunched up concert ticket in his fist. No way could a measly bunch of eighty-nine girls attacking at once separate him from his precious prize – not in a million years (especially when Sasuke didn't really like the words 'sympathy to the weak' in one phrase). The raven-haired boy hadn't even minded that he'd done the majority of the fighting. (He had to admit, though, when Sakura, Ino, and Hinata had rolled a dumpster on a pack of clawing girls, it'd been pretty helpful.)

Now Sasuke really had something to look forward to: seeing Uzumaki Naruto dolled up in yet another super sexy outfit at a super limited _Dead Last_ concert. This time, the Uchiha swore he'd look _and_ listen at the same time. Tsk! There was just so much to concentrate on when a certain blonde was in proximity…

Carefully laying his ticket on his desk, the raven-haired boy was just about to strip out of his wig and uniform when he suddenly felt another presence in the room. Spinning around, Sasuke found himself eye to eye with the one Uzumaki Naruto – who was sitting perched on the sill of his bedroom window.

"N-Naruto?" The raven-haired boy balked. "What are you doing here? I thought you went off with the rest of your band…?"

The blonde snorted, rolling his blue, blue eyes. "I came back for you – duh."

"What?" Sasuke blinked.

The light breeze coming through the window made Naruto's short spiky hair flutter and twinkle in golden brightness. Cocking his head to one side, the blonde grinned mischievously – sending thrills up the Uchiha's spine.

"I said I came back for you." Naruto said again.

"What are you talking about, dobe?"

As if in answer to the question, the blonde gracefully leapt into Sasuke's room. Arching up again as fluidly as a tiger, Naruto gazed curiously around the raven-haired boy's neat bedroom and, his cerulean eyes landing on the poster on the ceiling over Sasuke's bed, laughed pointedly, "Nice decorations, sempai."

The Uchiha felt hot color rush to his face. Gritting his teeth, Sasuke hissed, "Usuratonkachi. I'll have you know you're trespassing on private property. And I'm willing to bet your lame sense of humor won't last when you're being dragged off by the authorities."

"Nandattebayo?!" The blonde pouted (very cutely, in Sasuke's opinion) and folded his slender arms across his chest. "Did that Julia chick threaten Romeo with arrest too, huh?!"

Sasuke didn't even bother to correct the dobe. "What do you want, usuratonkachi?"

"Che." Naruto whined, his shocking blue eyes flashing in disappointment. "You're no fun at all. Do I have to spell everything out for you?"

"You can spell?" Sasuke murmured, cocking an eyebrow.

The shorter blonde flushed bright red. "Alright, alright! I'll – I'll just spit it out. Ah, didya – didya kinda notice that I, ah, I was staring at you, um, during the last, um, last concert, like, an year ago…"

Now it was the Uchiha's turn to snort. "Of course I did. It would have been harder not to notice you staring, baka."

"Then, then I guess you already know why I followed you here…" Naruto fidgeted.

Sasuke lifted a finger to his lips, pretending to think, before crooning out sadistically, "Actually, I don't know, dobe. Why are you in my room again?"

"Mou…" The blonde bit down on his lips, his tan cheeks flaming adorably. Naruto opened his mouth as if to try again, but hastily closed it when only a mortified squeak appeared from between his cherry lips. Because words were failing him, the blonde scurried closer to Sasuke's side instead and, blushing even darker when he realized that the raven-haired boy was a tad taller than he was, muttered, "Sasuke, I – ah – I'm – ah – "

Feigning annoyance, Sasuke started to pull away. "I don't have time to listen to you practice vowels, dobe."

Panicking when the raven-haired boy started to pull away, Naruto reached up to desperately jerk Sasuke's face towards his for a teeth-clanging kiss. The blonde's lips were even softer than the Uchiha imagined (if that was possible). As their lips pushed forcefully together, Naruto hissed slightly at the impact of the kiss but felinely clung onto Sasuke's neck as if he was afraid that the taller boy would break away. For his part, the raven-haired boy had no intention of that sort and wrapped his arms around the blonde's head, firmly subduing Naruto into an easy-to-kiss position.

For the next ten minutes, there was no sound but the blonde's soft moans and the Uchiha's impatient growls as the two fervently made out in a way that only Sasuke and Naruto can. When Naruto finally resurfaced for air, he attempted to finish his belated confession: "Sasuke, I – I love you so much, I…"

"Ha…" The raven-haired boy drawled, not really interested in talking. He tried to force Naruto's mouth beneath his again, but the blonde tried to speak.

"I, I gave you those tickets because I wanted you to come see me sing." Naruto peered up at Sasuke with his impossibly blue eyes, begging, begging, "I only want _you_ to see me sing."

Lifting a dark eyebrow playfully, Sasuke scoffed, "Bossy – aren't you, dobe?"

"Yeah." The blonde nodded, blushing again as he snuggled against the Uchiha's slightly sweaty neck. "But, ah, you can have your turn being bossy too… Name anything, Sasuke. I'll do anything."

Naruto couldn't have known that, at those words, an inner Sasuke had started cackling madly in his own perverted la-la land.

"Alright, dobe. I'll play your little game." The Uchiha said generously. Glancing down at Naruto beam up at him, Sasuke ordered, "Stand up."

The blonde quickly got to his feet. Before he could move or take a step back, the Uchiha firmly grabbed hold of Naruto's slim hips to keep the smaller boy locked in place before him. The blonde gasped as the raven-haired boy's ivory hands started to trace the shapes of his ass.

"Naruto." Sasuke whispered throatily, his eager fingers groping and searching. "The pants are in the way."

As the soft words dropped from the raven-haired boy's lips, the blonde flamed dark red. For a split second, Sasuke wondered whether he'd gone too far with the lewd conversation but – much to his surprise and great pleasure – in the next second, Naruto was fidgeting with the line of his pants. After four fumbled attempts, the blonde managed to push his pants down to his knees, revealing a pair of black briefs featuring a very conspicuous bulge.

"The boxers too, dobe." Sasuke hissed, dropping to his knees to rub his nose against Naruto's thighs. "They are in the way."

Turning the color of an overripe tomato but still biting his lips determinedly, Naruto whispered nervously, "If – if that's what Sasuke wants," and hooked his graceful fingers through the hem of his boxers. With one tug, the superfluous clothing had joined the pants and the Uchiha was admiring inner thighs the color of milk coffee and, more importantly, a certain throbbing part of the male anatomy.

The Uchiha was too wrapped up in scrutinizing Naruto's dick to continue with his orders. Luckily, the blonde was more than ready to remind the bigger boy.

"Sasuke." Naruto whispered, his sensual voice even huskier with lust. "Your lips are in the way, neh?"

Obediently, Sasuke parted his moist lips and took Naruto's member into the cavern of his mouth – confidently stroking it against the bent of his tongue.

"U-uwaaah, Sasuke," Naruto's knees were buckling as the Uchiha started to suck insistently on the blonde's warm flesh. "Sasuke, I – uuuuwaaaaah!!"

"Naruto." The raven-haired boy breathed. "Naruto, Naruto, Naruto…"

"Sasuke…"

"NARUTO!!"

Screaming, the Uchiha lurched up from the covers of his bed. For a split second, Sasuke wondered why he wasn't sitting between the gorgeous blonde's juicy legs and instead tangled up in his bed with the annoying morning sunlight zeroing into his itchy eyeballs. The sticky sensation trickling down his inner thigh, however, soon granted him the much more than the necessary hint.

Sasuke needed to take a cold shower – _again_.

* * *

**Author's Note**: And that's chapter three! Please review and let me know that you're interested in the next chapter - neh?! Much love.


	4. New Girlfriend

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is drawn and written by a fantastically splendid, wonderfully cute, and very talented manga artist: the Masashi Kishimoto. (And Kishimoto-san, if you are, by the slimmest chance, reading this and somehow understanding the English, please elope with me; I will bring the bags of onigiri.)

**Chapter Rating: **PG-13

**Author's Note:** Hey peeps! I am sorry that updates are so rare (mumble)busy(mumble)monkeys(mumble)pinacolada(mumble)… Anyway, I'll next update _Give You Back_, so bear in there with me.

Oh, and almost forgot to mention: a lot of fans have been reacting, er, violently to the fact that the main characters for _The Ultimate Uke Syndrome_ are Hyuuga Neji and Uzumaki Naruto. Does that mean two of the main characters of that fic are Neji and Naruto? Yes. Does that mean UUS is a NejiNaru fic? No. The official pairing for that fic has not yet been revealed, although, there have been some hints _in the fic itself_. Gang: If I labeled the pairing, it'd be in the summary. So, please rest assure that I have not sneakily announced the pairing where you guys know not.

Well, enough of my babbling, on with the story!!

**My E-mail:** rosesareblue at ymail dot com (Write me with any comments or suggestions. Remember, there's nothing like feedback that improves an author's moral/writing.)

**/ D E A D / L A S T /**

**By Rosesareblue**

_Chapter Four: New Girlfriend_

"Good morning, Sasuke-chan!" The pink-haired girl waved, catching up with the raven-haired boy as he walked into school, clutching his head. "What's wrong? Didn't you have a good sleep?"

"Problem was, it was too good." The Uchiha muttered under his breath.

"Hmmm?" Sakura blinked sweetly up at her much taller classmate.

Sasuke briskly shook his head. "Nothing."

"I bet you're just excited about tonight's concert." The pink-haired girl smiled knowingly, skipping a little ahead. "To tell you the truth, I couldn't sleep at all last night because I kept having these wild dreams!"

At that, the raven-haired boy's ears went pi-ku. Trying not to sound too interested, Sasuke murmured, "Er, ah, wh-what kind of wild dreams?"

Sakura blushed, as if she were caught doing something very wrong, and whispered confidentially, "P-promise you won't tell anyone, Sasuke-chan?"

Instead of replying, the raven-haired boy nodded dismissively.

Still blushing, the pink-haired girl whispered, "Well, ah, well I keep having these, these fantasies of, ah, Naruto. Well, he's, ah, he's in my room and he, uh, he teases me about having so much of his CDs and posters and stuff."

"Ah…" Sasuke faintly smiled, nodding in complete comprehension. "And after that he begs you for a blowjob?"

"Wha – what?!" Sakura blurted, both confused and mortified. "N-no! Nothing so very perverted, Sasuke-chan! After that, we – ah – we listen to one of his songs together – my favorite one, _Kage no Kingu _– and then he, and then he – "

"And then Naruto…??"

"Leans over and gives me a feather-soft peck on the cheek! Gyaaaaaaaaahhh!!" Sakura squealed, clutching her cheeks in girlish embarrassment.

The Uchiha could only squint his eyes disdainfully at the low-scale kink. This just totally proved his theory. There was no romansu – _at all_ – in a double-X chromosome's (pathetically dry yet pretending to be) wet dream…

Just then, a fleet of (heavily) perfumed girls flocked by – giggling at the top of their (stringently) high-pitched voices. And, of course, in the middle of the drove was the precariously attractive, too-cute-for-his-own-good blonde dobe – trying not to look as hassled as he obviously was.

"It's been almost a week since Uzumaki Naruto started attending our school, neh?" Sakura mentioned thoughtfully. "I don't think he's really adjusted, yet."

"Understatement." Sasuke nodded, narrowing his eyes at the noisy group.

The good news for Naruto was that he was mostly protected from the suffocating fervor of his fans by their sheer number; his fan club seemed to cancel itself out as every girl, while trying to get cozy with the blonde herself, tried her very best to make sure that no one else got too close. Conclusively, whenever a fan girl's attention grew too, well, too _body_ – her physical desires were quickly punctured by many, many, many pairs of (violently) stamping feet. The bad news for Naruto was that – because of his always present, always moony fan club – his dream of leading a normal school life stayed (laughably) impossible:

Once, when his male peers (grudgingly) allowed the blonde to join in on their soccer game, Naruto eagerly scampered to his place between the goal posts. But when the blonde managed to block a narrow goal by thrusting out his arms, his fan girls – instead of letting Naruto reap his teammates' congratulations – chased the other team's would-be-scorer all around the soccer field, loudly demanding for his blood. After the said soccer player was killed with a shovel to the head, stripped naked, and tossed into the (drained) school swimming pool (as another crowd of female onlookers curtly informed him, 'red card, red card') – none of the boys (predictably) would let Naruto play with them again.

It was the same story for Naruto and his studies; every time a sympathetic teacher tried to help the dobe with his worst subject (which turned out to be school in general), he or she was met with the loud protests of Naruto's fan girls irately informing him or her that 'Naruto would never need this stuff; he should get an A in everything for just being alive.' / 'He's just too good-looking to be bothered with science; besides, he can improve the world just by smiling.' / 'If you give him homework, I swear I'll make you sorry you were ever born.'

Thus, the pattern of the _Dead Last_'s vocal's school life was fated to be miserable and wearisome: one, he was always surrounded by his (leering) harem of girls (who even hung out in front of the boy's room arguing about who got to hold the TP whenever the blonde needed to pee); two, he was treated like the plague of locusts by his jealous male peers, who traded Naruto-voodoo-dolls amongst themselves; and, three, he was totally cut off from any helpful (or any unhelpful, for that matter) sensei that might teach him something about the world besides the power of obsessive women. It was no wonder that whenever the black minivan showed up to pick him up from school, Naruto was more than happy to get away (to prove it, once, the blonde crawled over a brick wall and elbowed through a spiky rosebush to make a shortcut to his ride.)

Sasuke wondered why – under the current circumstances – the blonde just didn't give up on going to school altogether (not that the Uchiha would want to be deprived of the chance to glimpse Naruto everyday…). Furthermore, the raven-haired boy couldn't understand for the life of him why, why, _why_ – though it was _quite_ blatant how those fan girls were making his life a living hell – Naruto still smiled cheerfully (and wonderfully cutely) at them and, at the same time, pulled off being nice to everybody else. His endurance just – wasn't – human – !

The raven-haired boy was still griping about a certain blonde's _niceness_ till lunchtime. Not really wanting to sit with Ino, Sakura, and Hinata (who were passionately and in great detail discussing Hinata's last night wet dream – featuring herself, Naruto, and one (dingy) ride on the merry-go-round), the Uchiha snuck out of his classroom and made his way to the school rooftop (conveniently forgetting the area was off limits). From the high perch, Sasuke figured he could spot out Naruto's blonde head – even if it was hidden in its usual (reeking) crowd of (untamed wildebeest impersonating) girls.

Easily cracking the metal lock into dust in his fist, Sasuke pushed through the steel doors and took a seat leaning against the chain fence. As the fence rattled noisily, a figure sitting behind a water tank jumped to his feet – hastily croaking, "Gah! Sorry! I didn't know that no one was allowed in here! I swear?!"

"Na-Naruto?" The Uchiha asked incredulously, recognizing the poorly acted, badly affected voice at once. In his surprise, Sasuke forgot to be bamboozled and actually spoke in complete sentences, "W-What are you doing here?"

The blonde peeked around the water tank and, catching sight of Sasuke's lanky form, breathed out a sigh of relief. "Ah, it's only you sempai! I thought maybe you were a girl."

A second had to pass before the Uchiha calculated that comment should be insulting.

"Charming as ever I see." Sasuke narrowed his onyx eyes, pissed. "And, I should ask, where's your harem, dobe?"

As if to answer his question, a female voice crowed from somewhere downstairs, "Find him! He couldn't have gone far! Search both corridors!"

Quickly, it was followed by another high-pitched voice wailing, "Naruto-sama's gonna miss out on my homemade lunch if he doesn't show up soon!"

"Ha! That piece of charcoal?!" Another girl's voice scoffed. "As if! My lunch's better!"

"Yeah right! Then tell me why Harumi sensei mistook it for the science club's field project on farm animal digestion?!"

At Naruto's paling face, Sasuke accurately guessed that the blonde must have pulled off a daring escape. Sighing in (feigned) annoyance, the raven-haired boy pulled out his own bento he'd bought that morning at the convenience store. Lifting off the lid and pushing the container forward, Sasuke muttered quietly, "Here, runaway, I'll donate to your charity case."

At the blonde's wary glance, Sasuke snorted and looked away quickly – his ivory cheeks turning a light shade of pink – "It's – it's not the greatest lunch in the world, d-dobe, but no one mistakes it for cow paddies – alright?"

Finally, Naruto cracked a (heartbreakingly gorgeous) smile. Like a puppy, the blonde inched over and, sniffing cautiously at Sasuke's lunch, popped a small shrimp into his mouth to carefully chew on. It must have passed the blonde's test because, after another (wonderfully breathtaking) smile in the Uchiha's direction, Naruto extended his hand towards Sasuke for chopsticks.

The raven-haired boy, amused that _Dead Last_'s famous vocal was so animal-like, didn't notice that he was suddenly lunch-less till the last piece of pork cutlet was wolfed down Naruto's throat.

"Great, usuratonkachi. So, where's my part of the lunch?" Sasuke whispered softly.

"Sorry, sempai." Naruto yawned, sleepy now that his stomach was full. "I – ah – I'll sneak down to the convenience store and buy you another one after fifth period."

"Nice plan, dobe." The Uchiha scoffed, twisting his smooth lips into an ironic smile. "By the way, the convenience store owner's a woman. Plus, she has a _Dead Last_ poster – you know, the one with you tied up in cords? – hanging over her cashier with little rated R love notes scribbled all over you legs."

The raven-haired boy laughed silently as he watched Naruto blanch.

"Ca-can't I make it up to you some other way, instead?" The younger blonde boy asked, hopefully.

Sasuke pretended to think. "I'm _really_ hungry…"

"Ah, please, sempai! I'll do anything else!" Naruto begged.

In that instant, the raven-haired boy had a flash of dejavu. At the sudden (and very inconvenient) throbbing sensation under his skirt, Sasuke said hastily, "Ju-just, I don't know, get me, get me a copy of your neko poster or something – later, okay?"

"B-but, I heard that went out of print." The blonde pouted.

Damn, was he cute… really cute… Especially the way his fat pink lips were pressed beneath his teeth… The Uchiha broke off from his musing, paling as he realized his very inconvenient throbbing sensation was now becoming his very inconvenient growing problem. In his panic, the raven-haired boy snapped, "It doesn't matter. I was just kidding. I'm not that hungry anyway, dobe."

"But I'm so sorry, sempai." Naruto apologized, staring at an impatient Sasuke's face and mistaking his panicked alarm for justified fury. "I can't get you the poster but, ah, I can give you a live preview?"

"Wh-what?"

Sasuke didn't get another warning because, in that second, Naruto had gotten onto all fours and was, slowly but surely, crawling predatorily towards him. The Uchiha reached down to pinch his thigh, afraid that he was dreaming again and going to wake up screaming Naruto's name in the middle of class (and, worse, shooting cum on his ethics teacher). But the raven-haired boy's nails painfully drew blood from his ivory flesh; yes, Uchiha Sasuke was awake _and_ dreaming.

Curling around the raven-haired boy's stretched out legs like a cat, Naruto murmured a low purr and started to rub his soft, spiky hair against Sasuke's arm. (Here, Sasuke started praying.) Not liking the lack of reaction from the bigger boy, the blonde persistently stroked the bottom of the Uchiha's neck with the top of his head. (By this time, Sasuke was trying Buddha for help.) Finally, Naruto gave the raven-haired boy a friendly lick on the cheek before letting his tousled head fall onto the taller boy's lap. (Now, Sasuke had given up on religion altogether and was just blindly hoping that Naruto didn't feel anything curious.)

"You're supposed to pat me right about now, sempai." Naruto said sleepily, in a loud stage whisper.

"You make a… a… very bad neko, dobe." Sasuke lied, while his fingers slipped willingly into Naruto's feather-soft locks. "And if you fall asleep on my lap, we're going to miss fifth period."

"Oh good." The blonde murmured, settling his head more comfortably against Sasuke's thigh. "I don't want to face anymore girls today, anyway."

At the back of the Uchiha's lovey-dovey mind, a small voice tried to remind him that he should be insulted again. Sasuke promptly ignored it, saying, "Then give me a good reason for missing _my_ class, usuratonkachi."

"Hmm…" Naruto murmured, creaking open one blue eye to stare lazily at the Uchiha. At last, the blonde twisted around to tug up his uniform shirt and revealed his smooth, bronze abdomen. "I'll let you pat my tummy?"

"Fair enough." Sasuke muttered, gently fingering the blonde's taut stomach muscles.

And Naruto purred again, standing gorgeous shivers up Sasuke's spine.

* * *

As it turned out, by the time either of them woke up, not only fifth period but sixth, seventh, and eighth period had passed and the dismissal bell was clanging. Naruto lifted his messy-from-sleep head off Sasuke's lap and, after confusedly listening to the sound of the rings for a while, sat up bolt right – screeching, "The concert!" That one word brought Sasuke, pervertedly smiling in his sleep, back to the less fluffy real world.

"Relax, dobe!" The Uchiha scowled authoritatively at the freaking-out blonde. "It's only five; the concert's at nine thirty, eh?"

"Gah! But I was supposed to leave early to practice!" Naruto wailed in hysterics. "Besides! All my girl classmates kinda implied they wouldn't let me go home today if I didn't give them each a ticket to the concert! It's gonna take _forever_ for me to get away!!"

The raven-haired boy narrowed his eyes in dislike at the mention of the blonde's harem. "You really have to stop letting those idiotic females push you around, dobe. Stop being so nice to everyone?!"

"Huh?" Naruto blinked, confused.

Sasuke growled in frustration at the younger blonde's naivety. "Why don't you get yourself a girlfriend, usuratonkachi? If they know you're taken, those other girls will probably leave you alone."

"That's – that's a stupid idea, sempai!" The blonde balked, scowling childishly and going off in a knowing voice. "Then it'll be like I gave the girl that's my girlfriend _permission_ to eat me alive – girls are scary like that, you know."

The raven-haired boy felt a vein start pulsing in his ivory forehead at the dobe's superior tone. "Then, baka, just get a girl to _pretend_ to be your girlfriend! It's as easy as that!"

"How am I gonna find a girl nice enough to agree to do that, huh?!" Naruto demanded, stubbornly putting his hand on his slim hips.

"I dunno." Sasuke murmured, smiling suggestively as the very best idea formed in his (totally dirty) mind. "I'm _sure_ you'll figure_ something_ out. Maybe you can _discuss_ being _girlfriends_ with _one_ of the girls you _invited_ to the _concert_, huh, dobe?"

At that, the blonde frowned deeply as if he was working out the most difficult puzzle in the cosmos. After a long silence (in which the Uchiha almost strangled the blonde while pointing at himself to give the usuratonkachi a little hint), Naruto blurted out, "Say, sempai… Uh, what's your name again? I never really got a chance to ask you."

"Uchiha Sasuke." The raven-haired boy said patiently. "Uchiha Sasuke in class 2-C. Leo. Blood-type AB. And I, uh, I prefer blonde guys."

"Uh-huh." Naruto nodded, concentrating hard. "And, ah, you're a… you're a girl too, right?"

"Yes." Sasuke said through gritted teeth. "I'm a girl."

"And, ah, you're really coming to my concert tonight – neh?" Naruto finally looked up, his blue eyes shining brightly.

"Yes!" Sasuke all but exclaimed. "Yes! I'm a girl and I'm coming to your goddamn concert, dobe?!"

"That's perfect!" Naruto whooped. "You can ask one of your friends that's coming too if she wouldn't mind being my pretend girlfriend! And then those fan girls will get off my back! You're a genius, Sasuke sempai!"

The raven-haired boy couldn't even gape; he was just too surprised (by the unexpected cracking sound of his hard-wrought, heavenly fantasy).

"You saved my life again! First, that taxi. Then, lunch. And now, the fan girls…" Naruto grinned adoringly up at Sasuke and whispered a little self-consciously, "You know, it's too bad you, uh, you probably are, ah, too busy to be my pretend girlfriend, right…??"

Sasuke – who was getting ready to jump over the fence and throw himself off the rooftop in his frenzied frustration – instantly snapped back at the blonde's changed tone of voice. "Did you mention me, dobe? As in, pretend to be your girlfriend? I'm much too, too busy for that kind of shit, usuratonkachi – but, what the hell, maybe I could – "

"I figured as much." Naruto cut Sasuke off, nodding thoughtfully. "But you can find the time to ask your other girl friends, right? Thanks a billion, sempai. I – I'll try to find another copy of the neko poster – neh?"

With that, the blonde turned to leave as one soulless-ly 'heh-heh'ing Sasuke returned to the task of suicide.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Hope you enjoyed that. Oh, and I also wanted to point out that since my _Dead Last _fans are so receptive in leaving me reviews, this fic is (relatively) promptly updated. More reviews equals more updates. I am sure all of you who write on this site know that kind of feeling. So, please let me know what you think and I will let you know how the story further progresses! I adore you guys! I do, I do!

* * *

Dead Last's cast has been going over y'all's reviews and wants to comment on a few of them. So, welcome to **Rosesareblue's Review and be Replied Corner**. Yay!!

To **EggyMina**'s "O Mee..Sasuke! Stupid idiot and his pride always getting in the way. He should've just said YES! Like the loving fangirl he is. Doesn't he feel oh so bad now? xD":

Sasuke: (_glares_) Yes, biatch, thanks for that unwarranted rubbing it in. After my suicide, you are next! (_jabs finger_)

Naruto: Muwaaaah?? Don't pick on EggyMina, Sasuke sempai! Listen, listen. She says (_clears throat_) "Can't blame Naruto for being so nice. He's just so adorable and cute." That is such an intelligent, beautiful, and ultra-awesome review, neh?! (_gushes_)

Sasuke: (_joins EggyMina anti-club_)

To **Kayvy**'s "Sasuke no baka, when will he learn that being coy always backfires around our dear Naru-chan?":

Sasuke: Let me remind your critical ars that the dobe interrupted me in the middle of my sentence, okay?! There was a BUT! There was!! (_rips review to shreds_)

Sakura: (_in passing_) Sasuke-chan? That time of month? Do you need (_whispers_) feminine hygiene supplies?

Sasuke: (_joins Sakura anti-club)_

To **couldn't tackle the bear**'s "Poor Sasuke, so close and yet so far...I feel your pain.":

Sasuke: If you feel my pain, why the (bleep) are you trying to make my life worse by secretly coveting a Neko!Naruto poster, you Itachi!

Rosesareblue: This is supposed to help my PR, Sasuke, not endanger it... (_sweatdrops_)

To **Stupidity Unleashed**'s "I love how frustratingly naive Naruto is.":

Sasuke: That's only because your username is Stupidity Unleashed, you baka.

Rosesareblue: (_shakes Naruto_) Gaaah!! Now he just insulted a veteran fan; stop him stop him stop himstophimstophim!!

Naruto: (_between shakes_) It was your dumb idea to have this corner!

Rosesareblue: (_weeps_) But, but…

To **Steven Kodaly**'s "Of course Sasuke SHOULD be wondering if that seemingly-oblivious vocalist has actually seen through his cunning disguise as a girl, but I can understand his priorities.":

Kiba and Chouji: (_in sync_) Uzumaki Naruto??

Naruto: So much for selling teammate-ai, jerks… (_grumble, grumble_)

To **Vio-chan**'s "I'm of no use to anyone now":

Sasuke: (_pats Vio-chan's shoulder_) …

Ino: Ano, Sasuke? Why are you patting her shoulder in that "I feel with you" way??

Rosesareblue: And let us all thank Ino for being that helpful commentary person! Paku, paku!

To **Chios**' "DID NARUTO THINK THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOUR WOULD BE CONSIDERED NORMAL?!":

Naruto: (_blinks_) Er, yeeeeeeessssss…??

Various Perverted Characs from UUS: Then let us engage in normal behaviour together, Naru-chan!!

Naruto: (_blinks_) Er, noooooooooo..??

And that's a wrap! Please keep sending in those reviews; we are all waiting to reply!!


	5. Concert Night

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is drawn and written by a fantastically splendid, wonderfully cute, and very talented manga artist: the Masashi Kishimoto. (And Kishimoto-san, if you are, by the slimmest chance, reading this and somehow understanding the English, please elope with me; I will bring the bags of onigiri.)

**Chapter Rating: **PG-13

**Author's Note:** Everyone, please check out _Give You Back_ – that's the one of Naruto forgetting Sasuke after a long ten year separation. I've actually updated it, so read it if you haven't already and let me know your take. That's really a toughie to write. Thanks!

**My E-mail:** rosesareblue at ymail dot com (Write me with any comments or suggestions. Remember, there's nothing like feedback that improves an author's moral/writing.)

**/ D E A D / L A S T /**

**By Rosesareblue**

_Chapter Five: Concert Night_

When Sasuke found out that Ino, Sakura, and Hinata had all ditched last period to pretty themselves for the concert, he'd just rolled his eyes; after all, dressing up just because you had a crush on someone was such a predictable and stupid girlish thing to do. So, when the raven-haired boy found himself rushing home to take a long shower, throwing on some aftershave (only to realize that he shouldn't be wearing aftershave in the first place and thus needing another shower), and performing a strange ritual in front of his mirror consisting of his trying on every single shirt he owned, he could only sum it up to devil possession.

What annoyed him even more was that Ino, Sakura, and Hinata unfailingly (and very annoyingly) _noticed_ that he'd done something so utterly embarrassing.

The torture started with Ino letting out a long wolf whistle that attracted the attention of practically everyone lined up in front of the small concert hall (because they probably wondered if _Dead Last_ had already arrived).

"Wow, Sasuke-chan!" Ino drawled, blushing. "That's… wow!"

"You, uh, um, wow…" Sakura breathed, staring. "It's too bad, ah, you weren't born a boy, Sasuke-chan. You'd come close to being as handsome as Naruto. Almost, anyway."

"Sasuke-san…" Hinata mumbled, smiling appraisingly. "You look very nice…"

In reply, the Uchiha scowled – almost wishing he hadn't done what he'd done. Okay, so maybe actually doing something with his (fake) hair other than the ponytail or clip thing was going overboard. But then, in its thick braid, his hair couldn't fall into his face and bother his view of Naruto… And, yes, adding an extra layer of padding to his already heavily padded bra was cheating – because if the usuratonkachi was really turned on by well-endowed women and actually wanted to lay the (willing) Sasuke, he'd very quickly be (superbly and sorely) disappointed.

However, the girls were really (unnecessarily) overdoing it – as usual; the black jeans and the black shirt wasn't really dressing up. Okay, so, usually his black jeans didn't exactly show off the whites of his thighs through its rips nor did his black shirt's neckline hang low enough to display his slick collarbones but – it wasn't as if they themselves weren't powdered up. Sakura's clothes were probably made entirely out of sequins and Hinata's outfit would have made Calvin Klein proud. And Ino? It was surprising that she hadn't been arrested on her way here with the amount of skin she was showing…

Sasuke cleared his throat, asking, "Why aren't they letting us in?"

"The concert… was delayed." Hinata bit her lips. "For… about thirty minutes."

"The rumor is," Sakura nodded knowingly, "that Naruto was really late to practice."

"Huh." The Uchiha snorted. "Gee, I wonder why…"

Ino shrugged. "Maybe his fangirls held him up. Anyway, thirty minutes isn't exactly waiting if there's Shikamaru at the end of it."

"Don't you mean Naruto?" Hinata, Sakura, and Sasuke absently replied in sync.

* * *

The back-to-school concert was an extremely exclusive show with only the hundred-plus fan audience selected (with the exception of four people) through the (very, very, very, very) competitive lottery. Which meant: the concert hall was packed with men in uniform keeping the ticket-less fans from illegally invading into the auditorium (or from killing the fans with tickets so that they could take their places). By the time the four had made their way through security, the front row seats had been taken by a group of less fancily dressed girls that hadn't been stopped every few seconds to be humped by a flirtatious and quickly-killed guard.

Sasuke was about to suggest chopping a few heads when yet another (gay) guard accosted him.

"Uchiha-sama?" The man stuttered, squinting at Sasuke.

"No, she won't suck your dick even if it squirts wine instead of cum." Ino snapped instinctively. "Get lost."

"But…"

"And Sasuke-chan doesn't care if you have lots of money, okay?" Sakura rolled her eyes in frustrated annoyance. "So if your life is precious to you, get out of our way."

"But!"

"I don't want to say this but… if we miss the opening because of your… your, ah, interruption…" Hinata sighed. "I apologize, sir, but… I'll have to sue you… And take your life savings…"

"But I have instructions from – gahk – t-the _Dead Last_ v-vocal t-t-to – "

At his third 'but', Sasuke's hand had impulsively grabbed his throat and instantly cut off his air passage. But at the choked out the three magic words (_Dead Last_ vocal), the raven-haired boy relaxed his hold.

"You do?" The Uchiha raised his eyebrows – signifying through his glare that if the man was lying… well, he wouldn't exactly be a _man_ anymore.

"Y-yes." The guard gagged with difficulty. "Uzumaki-sama, ah, t-told me to give you backstage p-p-passes so that – gahk – you have a better view of the c-concert. He said s-s-something about a missing animal p-poster, but I-I-I don't remember what that was…"

"Don't you mean give _us_ back stage passes?" Sakura corrected, cracking a sickeningly sweet (yet at the same time, immensely scary) smile.

"N-n-no…" The guard started, but with a quick glance at three suddenly growing-horns-and-fangs-girls, swiftly changed his mind. "I mean, y-yes??"

"Why didn't you tell us about the passes in the first place." Ino tsked irritably. "We didn't have to waste all that precious backstage time threatening you with death."

"But, but!" The guard stammered.

"Please… don't start that again." Hinata sighed. "Now … take us back stage."

By the time that the (for no good reason ticked off and grumbling) guard had hurried them through even heavier than the entrance security and guided them to an area sealed of with closed curtains, the lights in the auditorium was dimming and the screams abruptly multiplying (which, obviously, signified only one thing). One wall of curtains shifted away and Ino, Sakura, and Hinata gasped so loudly it could have been a muted scream as they stared at the stage.

Shikamaru, Chouji, and Kiba were already on stage – all of them dressed in a sort of school uniform made out of silky black fishnet and thin silver chains. Their arms and legs were loosely tied with great lengths of crisscrossing red string that was also knotted to various piles of ripped books, crumpled papers, and broken computers scattered on stage. As the three girls drooled, Sasuke was only wondering why the scene was minus a certain blonde.

The Uchiha didn't have to (angrily) wonder for long because, as Shikamaru strummed through the first amazingly loud notes of the opening song, the center of the stage floor opened and, as the audience erupted into a storm of screams, a gleaming cage made of steel bars lifted out of the black hole. And inside that cage was Sasuke's blonde god in nothing but the fishnet uniform – blindfolded and handcuffed.

Accordingly, the Uchiha's jaw dropped. Unfortunately, that wasn't the only thing to fall and make a tiny pool on the floor…

"Ano… Sasuke-san…" Hinata, (miraculously) tearing her (star-glazed) eyes away from watching a suggestively whimpering Naruto struggling against his bonds, laid a worried hand on the raven-haired boy's shoulder. "You're bleeding. A lot."

"What?" Sasuke muttered (not shifting his own glazed eyes away from zeroing in on a certain blonde's backside).

In reply, Hinata tugged out a tissue from her purse. Rethinking her actions, the shorthaired girl pulled out a dozen more tissues and fished them over. The Uchiha (his eyes still not moving) used the thick wad to damn his nosebleed.

"Er, Hinata-chan. Um, me too." Sakura said thickly, the back of her hand pressed against her own nose.

"Me too." Ino blushed, the palm of her hand doing the same. "Gomen ne, Shikamaru-sama. I still love you the best – even if my first nosebleed was for someone else. You can have my virginity."

"I'm saving mine for someone else." Sakura whispered, dazedly.

At that, Sasuke and Hinata bobbed their heads in agreement.

Very unfortunately (in Sasuke's opinion), Naruto soon threw off his blindfolds, pulled his hands through the handcuffs, and slipped out through the cage bars (of course, all the entrapments were only impression items). But then, the prisoner concept might have been lost more quickly than planned because, when the eleventh over-steamed girl was carried out of the audience on a stretcher, Chouji stopped playing the accompaniment and slapped out some sort of urgent beat on his cymbals and Naruto, as if on cue, shook off his bonds. (Sasuke figured that the drummer's beats must have been some code; translated, it probably meant, "Hey man, we've killed enough retarded girls for one night.")

As the concert formally began and the (too sexy for his own good) dobe started to sing in his (too sexy for his own good) husky voice, Sasuke couldn't believe the Naruto he was looking at that very moment was the same Naruto that had tripped all over himself at lunch just that afternoon. The blonde was dressed in fishnet like the rest of his band and caught in the same tangle of red string; however, the way his unreal blue eyes – rimmed with those amazingly thick blonde lashes – were coaxingly held at half mast gave the dobe an even more mature sensuality than Shikamaru. The way his plump pink lips were twisted into a tight line – without a hint of the usual teasing smile – and how he'd cocked his brow in a serious smirk granted him an even greater intensity than Chouji. And the way the usuratonkachi measured out his breaths so that his slim chest trembled faintly with his excited, erratic sighs blessed him with a more superior stage presence than Kiba. Behind his mike, Uzumaki Naruto was an incontestable and indestructible intoxication.

Sasuke's blonde was, deservingly, _Dead Last_'s unrivalled star.

For the entire night, the Uchiha stared at Naruto sing out in that stringently lonely voice of his while twisting futilely against his bonds of red string. The raven-haired boy drank in the way the blonde's crimson tongue now and then darted out between his moist lips – as if to massage a whispered note – and enjoyed the way the blonde's tan flesh glinted with dews of sweat as he belted his heart out. Sasuke adored how his usuratonkachi wordlessly commanded everyone present in the auditorium to fall in love with him by showing how he was the epitome of the wildest dreams – always unreachable.

Because, Sasuke couldn't help but admit, Uzumaki Naruto was born to be hopelessly worshipped.

Too quickly, the concert came to a close and Naruto was informing his (joyously weeping and hysterically moaning) audience that he'd be singing the last song. Shunning all the following protests with one shake of his head, the blonde started singing the song that Sasuke would have selected as his favorite song – if Uzumaki Naruto's body hadn't been the Uchiha's all-time favorite song already.

As the song drew to an end, Sasuke found himself tensing in preparation for the wonderful sensation that swept over him every time Naruto hit the highest note in the song. Just before crooning, however, the blonde whipped around and met the raven-haired boy's startled eyes. This time, there was no mistake that the dobe was looking at him; for four whole seconds, Naruto stared at him with those electric blue eyes as he climaxed with the words: "In a world full of strangers, all I know is you."

* * *

After the concert, the same guard came to whisper to Sasuke directions to another reserved section backstage. Easily slipping away from Ino, Sakura, and Hinata, who were still fervently oohing and aahing about the concert and who probably wouldn't have noticed if Sasuke had sprouted an extra head or two that moment, the raven-haired boy went to the designated spot and leaned against some equipment trying to catch his breath. Soon, a familiar voice cheerfully greeted him.

"Sempai!" Naruto called out, nimbly jumping over cords and rushing over to where the raven-haired boy stood. "Sasuke sempai!!"

The Uchiha noted from the smaller boy's carefree grin that the blonde must have returned to his off-stage self and, trying not to sound too self-conscious, coughed, "You weren't, ah, half bad, up, ah, up there… dobe."

"Thanks." Naruto grinned, cocking his head to one side in that trademark cute grin of his that was unperturbed by even the dramatic stage makeup. "Did you see me try to catch your eye during the last song?"

"U-uh-huh." Sasuke choked out, his voice (infuriatingly embarrassingly) sticking. "I, ah, I kinda wondered what stupid thing it was that you were doing."

The blonde's smile widened. "You know, you know. You should come with us to our after-concert party. Kakashi sensei's buying – unless, of course, he's lying again. You should bring your friends – neh?!"

"I, I'll go ask them." The Uchiha replied, forcing his voice to be nonchalant while inwardly acknowledging that he'd most likely accept the blonde's invitation even if both his arms and legs had been broken and there were vampires sucking out his brain. "Just a, just a second, dobe."

"Yeah!" Naruto nodded eagerly, turning to go back to his band. "I'll have someone come around and take you and your friends to our van, then!"

"Na-Naruto!"

"Nandabattebayo…?" The blonde blinked, turning around curiously at Sasuke's urgent tone.

"Naruto, you… uh, that is…" Sasuke felt his cheeks redden, but went on to say brainless, girlish things because his banging heart felt like a dating simulation game character's already, anyway. "I, ah, I really meant everything I said about your singing, dobe, that first time we met – if you, ah, remember it at all, that is. You, ah, you're pretty s-special… when it comes to, you know, this vocal stuff, usuratonkachi…"

"Eh?" Naruto balked. "Eh??"

"I'm not kidding, dobe." The Uchiha grumbled.

"Eh?!"

Looking away, the raven-haired voice hissed, "Say something else already, baka."

"I – ah – wow, um," The blonde fidgeted. "Uh, no one's ever said something so nice to me before, except, um, except… Well, except no one, I guess…"

And before Sasuke knew what was happening, the smaller boy had leaned up on his tiptoes and was giving him a feather soft peck on the cheek.

"Thank you." Naruto whispered, blushing a soft pink. "I am glad you came, Sasuke sempai. Really I am."

With that, the blonde hastily disappeared behind a row of curtains – leaving Sasuke convinced that – maybe, just maybe – dingy girl fantasies weren't so bad after all.

* * *

Ino, Sakura, and Hinata agreed to come to the party (surprise, surprise). As the same harried guard (grumbling about needing to be paid a huge bonus) led the four towards the (guarded with near-nuclear weaponry) famous black van, a silver-haired man jumped out of the driver seat to greet them.

"My, my…" Kakashi drawled lazily. "I've never had female passengers before. Which one of you is Sasuke, anyway?"

Three fingers were simultaneously pointed at the raven-haired boy, who just glared coolly at the silver-haired manager (who he still hadn't completely forgiven for calling the blonde 'Naru-chan' without his written permission).

"Hmm…" Kakashi shrugged, lifting a brow and giving Sasuke a careless once-over. "But, you aren't Naruto's type at all."

Before Sasuke could demand what the (asshole) manager meant by that comment (while kicking the jerk in the shins at the same time), Iruka ran over to the van.

"Kakashi sensei! The boys are coming; start the car. I think we have to make a quick getaway tonight…" The pony-tailed man trailed off as he caught sight of the girls. Instantly, Iruka asked, "Which one of you is Sasuke?"

Four fingers (including Kakashi's especially accusing one) simultaneously pointed at said boy and Sasuke again just glared coolly (because he still hadn't completely forgiven the coordinator for calling the blonde 'ugly' – under any circumstance).

"Huh?" Iruka frowned, puzzled. "But Naruto doesn't like – "

"KA – KA – SHI – SEN – SEI!! I – RU – KA – SEN – SEI!! I'm so STARVED!!"

A golden-haired fireball flew through the air and attached itself to the silver-haired manager's neck.

"Are ya really gonna pay for the food or are ya gonna pretend to get drunk and make Iruka sensei pay for it again, Kakashi sen – " Realizing that his every action was watched by four pairs of very interested eyes (one pair flickering to a burning red), Naruto detached himself from the silver-haired man's arms and smiled in a friendly manner at Ino, Sakura, and Hinata.

"Hello sempais!" The blonde bubbled, sticking out his hand at Hinata – who was the closest. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto-dattebayo!!"

"Chances are they know who you are, baka." Chouji chuckled in a deep voice, joining the group by the van.

"Maybe he just wants an excuse to shake their hands." Kiba spoke up, coming in between Naruto and Hinata and pumping the shorthaired girl's hand up and down. Watching the Hyuuga heir blush a fuchsia pink, the bassist cracked a boyish grin. "Say! They're really cute!"

"Which one's Sasuke?" Shikamaru muttered, coming up behind Naruto.

Before the blonde had a chance to reply his band leader, five fingers (now including a wide-eyed Iruka's) pointed at a twitching Sasuke whose onyx eyes were flashing a dark red in deep resentment.

"Ha…" Shikamaru shrugged. "Souka… you – "

"I'm not Naruto's type, right?" Sasuke snapped, his temper cracking. "Yeah, I got the fucking picture the first two fucking times."

Only when a very, very cold wind blew over the now quiet group, the Uchiha heir realized he might have said something that was potentially (very, very) unfeminine.

"Nah." Shikamaru shrugged again, the first to break the stunned silence. "I'd say you're exactly Naruto's type."

"Didn't you check out today's concert? This idiot's totally into SM." Kiba chortled, earning an irate jab in the side from a pouting Naruto.

"C'mon, let's get the introductions out of the way so we can all be friends and hurry to wherever we are gonna eat." Chouji changed the subject, rubbing his stomach. "What's your name?"

Sakura turned an even more impressive shade of fuchsia pink than Hinata had, muttering. "Ah, ah, I forget."

"This is going to take a while." Chouji laughed.

"Haruno Sakura!" The pink-haired girl suddenly remembered, blushing even redder. "Yeah, I think that was it!"

"And what's your name?" Kiba, who hadn't let go of Hinata's hand, wanted to know.

"H-Hyuuga Hinata." The shorthaired girl mumbled.

If the band members were impressed by the famous name, they didn't show it. Hinata seemed grateful for their lack of reaction and blushed accordingly (or it could have been because Kiba still hadn't let go of her hand).

"I'm Ya-yamanaka Ino." The blonde girl replied and, in one brave motion, thrust her hand out towards her beloved Shikamaru. "Nice to meet you."

"Aah…" The band leader scratched his head in slight annoyance and took up the girl's hand in a shake.

"Nice to meet you too." Naruto – who'd been till that moment lingering next to Sasuke, much to the raven-haired boy's pleasure – suddenly sprung to action, snatching Ino's hand out of Shikamaru's and jerking it up and down enthusiastically. "Now, let's go get ramen – neh?"

Maybe it was the traumatic disappointment of losing the touch of her idol's hand, because the blonde Madonna burst out, "B-but, I hate ramen! It's so fattening!"

The second shocked silence swept over the group before the band – minus the blonde – burst into sincerely amused laughter.

"But Naruto's such a fan!" Kiba mock-whined at a reddening Ino, finally releasing Hinata's hand to punch a frozen Naruto's shoulder. "You've completely insulted him!"

"That was so below the belt." Chouji hooted, clapping Ino on the back. "Good job."

"You know," Shikamaru snickered, "I might like you, after all."

At the final comment, Ino gave a new definition to the word 'blush' and gazed fawningly at the band leader.

"T-then, what do you like?" Naruto, almost as red as the blonde girl, demanded. "We can have that, instead…"

"Shikamaru." Ino murmured in a daze.

Naruto's face fell at her answer before twisting into a (wonderfully cute) frown. "No, we can't eat Shikamaru. He'd die. I meant food, baka sempai!"

"Who are you calling baka sempai, baka kohai?!" Ino demanded, swiveling around to face the vocalist before being effectively silenced by Sakura and Hinata burying their elbows into her sides at the same time.

"She means she wants to eat ramen, too." Sakura smiled prettily.

"Very much!" Hinata nodded.

Flashing a grateful smile at the two girls and a glower at a wincing Ino, Naruto grabbed Sasuke's hand. Opening the door of the van and pulling along (a very pleased) Sasuke, the blonde vocal climbed on in a huff before saying in a loud stage whisper, "Don't be friends with the baka sempai anymore, neh? Sasuke sempai?"

And Sasuke, his fingers linked through Naruto's, was more than willing to nod in agreement, "Whatever you say, dobe."

* * *

A/N: By this point, I think all my readers know how I feel about reviews. Please, if you felt anything for the story, do me the kindness of leaving a short note about it. Also, again, check out _Give You Back_ for the newest installment if you haven't already done so! See you in chapter six!


	6. Love Confession

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is drawn and written by a fantastically splendid, wonderfully cute, and very talented manga artist: the Masashi Kishimoto. (And Kishimoto-san, if you are, by the slimmest chance, reading this and somehow understanding the English, please elope with me; I will bring the bags of onigiri.)

**Chapter Rating: **PG-13

**Author's Note:** More shameless advertising for _Give You Back_. The twelfth chapter's out, so please read and review. As for _Dead Last_, this fic is really starting to grow on me. I like Naruto a lot more than I do Sasuke (actually, the only reason I can tolerate Sasuke at all is because he is the Sasu in SasuNaru), so I kinda enjoy (a.k.a. have a sick love for) making the Uchiha pine a little. He deserves it. What a bitch.

So, enough with my politicking. Go, read, read!

**My E-mail:** rosesareblue at ymail dot com (Write me with any comments or suggestions. Remember, there's nothing like feedback that improves an author's moral/writing.)

**/ D E A D / L A S T/**

**By Rosesareblue**

_Chapter Six: Love Confession_

For dinner, the group went to a surprisingly rustic ramen shop – more like a booth out in the middle of nowhere, with only a flickering street light and a broken sign 'Baa-Ba's' that advertised its location. What was more surprising was that the food was as scrumptious as the service was foul; Naruto had to abandon his place next to Sasuke to plead with the owner to serve them: "Baa-ba! I'm beeegging! We're staaaaaaaaaaaaarving after our gig – please, please? Kakashi sensei, er, rather Iruka sensei, will leave a huge tip. Neh? Neh?"

Even then the busty blonde owner had nearly tossed their steaming (miniature bathtubs imitating) bowls of miso ramen at them before stalking away – muttering about loan-sharks and lotteries.

"Baa-ba dotes on me." Naruto confided to Sasuke, digging in before anyone else had snapped their chopsticks in half and painfully burning the roof of his tongue. "Thumthimes, though, I thave ta lend ther money ta pay ther debths. The's a thuge ambler."

"A huge gambler? Not very good, is she?" A bemused Sasuke smiled, raising one eyebrow and watching Naruto fan his scorched tongue with his chopsticks (futile) and try to talk at the same time (ditto).

"Un!" Naruto beamed wonderfully cutely, making the watching Sasuke wonderfully hungry for something other than miso ramen. "If only baa-baa were our age, I would seriously – "

"Could you stop speaking with your mouth full?" Ino snapped, raising her lovey-dovey eyes from a tamely slurping Shikamaru to glare at Naruto. "You're going to get your ABC junk all over Shikamaru-sama!"

"Shikamaru-sama, Shikamaru-sama…" Naruto imitated at a stringent pitch, glowering right back at her. "Is that all you know how to say, baka sempai?! And I haven't heard the phrase 'ABC' since I graduated elementary school!"

"That's because you probably graduated quite recently." Ino snorted. "I wonder if Shikamaru-sama had to take our school's entrance exam in your stead, baaaaaka."

"There you go again with your Shikamaru-sama-ing!"

"So troublesome." Shikamaru piped up, running a hand through his long hair in irritation and cutting short a pattern that had been recurring (scarily) often throughout the night. "Naruto, your ramen is getting cold."

Kiba gasped theatrically, giving Hinata a wink. "My, my, I thought I'd never live to see the day…"

"And Ino… was it?" Shikamaru sighed, giving the eager blonde girl a soulful look and adding not so soulfully, "Every time you yell, I get sprayed with bits of bean curd."

While Ino gave 'neon fuchsia' a new definition, Naruto sniffed and sulked against Sasuke's shoulder – another recurring pattern and the only reason Sasuke hadn't already buried Ino and her interruptive nature alive.

"So all of you are in the same class as Sasuke?" Chouji started, trying to cure the awkward atmosphere that always followed – what with Sakura and Hinata puffing out their cheeks like blowfish and fascinating about Sasuke-lynching.

"Unfortunately, yes." Sakura replied with her lips curled. "Though how long we'll stay friends, I can't say."

"Awwww, so you're all Naruto's fans – huh?" Kiba began and, seeing Ino shake her head so hard that she became a yellow blur, quickly corrected himself. "Well, all three of you save Ino?"

"G-gomennasai." Hinata blushed as Sakura apologetically and Sasuke quite curtly dipped their heads in consent.

Kiba laughed and shook his shaggy head, saying good naturedly, "The dobe's got style and talent – and the looks. Naturally, his place in the spotlight is well-deserved – "

"That's not true!"

Ino, red-faced, had surged up from her seat – glowing with unmitigated rage at the bassist's words.

"I-I don't think that – I – uh, sorry, Shikamaru-sama. Please use my napkin to, uh, wipe the bean curd for your… er…" Coughing, the blonde Venus tried again – getting redder and redder as she said: "What I mean is, that's uh, that's… well, I'm not trying to say that the ba-er-Na-Naruto isn't, ah, isn't talented or stylish or whatever. But in terms of flow, Chouji-kun has Naruto beat – sorry, bad pun. Um, I mean, a lot of the time, some of Naruto's broken rhythm is covered up by Chouji-kun's drumming – neh? And Kiba-kun is the one who makes all the jokes – so that everyone watching the performances is at ease when, ah, even when Naruto's a little bit aloof to his audience. And plus, plus! Shikamaru-sama writes and composes all the music. Isn't that so?"

Looking around at her still listeners, Ino sucked in her breath and said with deliberate determination, "What I mean to say is, ah, yes, Naruto is a wonderful vocal but… his-his place in the spotlight is only because he's the best looking – "

Three chairs squeaked as three girls simultaneously leapt from their seats.

"You have gone too far, Ino-chan!" Sakura yelped. "There's no reason to say all that! And in front of Naruto-kun!"

"Apologize… at once." Hinata hissed. "Naruto-sama… his voice is… what makes the songs… live. Apologize!"

"Get out." Sasuke's eyes were flashing crimson and his black bangs were casting shadows over his ivory features. The Uchiha heir's anger was nearly emanating for his very being – seething, boiling, cracking. "I am going to make you sorry that you ever opened your – "

"Sasuke sempai."

But Naruto's husky voice was calm – accepting.

"It's fine, Sasuke sempai. Ino sempai didn't say anything that's not true. It's fine." Naruto looked up at the raven-haired boy and smiled tightly – his wide electric blue eyes so pretty even in the dim light. "Really, it's fine."

"No it's not!" Sakura stormed, putting her fists on her hips and glowering at her (once upon a time) best friend. "If Sasuke's not going to smash your face in, I will! I have HUGE issues with what you just said, Ino-pig!"

"I… was disappointed also… when you said you… hated the ramen that Naruto-sama… loves." Hinata said, folding her hands over her plump breasts and staring Ino down. "And I… also haven't heard… the phrase 'ABC'… for a very long time."

At the shy girl's tart confession, the entire band burst out laughing – even Shikamaru was chuckling into the back of his hand. While Naruto complained to a snickering Chouji about having snorted up a noodle, Kiba hooted, "You girls are so scary! Where do you come up with this stuff?"

Just then, a silver head popped around the corner. Kakashi sensei, who was having his ramen and some sake besides at an adjacent booth with Iruka sensei, was waving an open cell phone at Shikamaru.

"Phone call." The sensual manager reported, adding demurely (with paw-like hand motions included), "Rawr, rawr."

"Speaking of scary…" Chouji jibed, looping his muscular arm around his bandleader's shoulder and pinching his blatantly reddening ears. "Time for the daily domestic brawl, captain?"

Kiba intercepted the phone and crooned into it: "Temari-chaaaaaaaan. Shikamaru can't come to the phone right now because he's surrounded by the cutest girls – "

"Give it here!" Shikamaru lunged with OOC-panic and snatched the cell from his lanky teammate. Giving his grinning-hyena-like fellow band members a pointed look and a meaningful "Die, all of you", the handsome brunette marched out to find privacy – muttering into the phone, "Sorry about that – no, no, no! Kiba's just being a dick – they're not _that _good-looking. No, that's not what I meant, Temari! I swear!"

"What was that?" Sakura asked, her green eyes huge for want of succulent, top-secret gossip. "Could it be that…"

"Shikamaru-san… has a… girlfriend?" Hinata whispered, equally excited.

In reply, Naruto laughed affectedly and poked a slab-of-rock-imitating-Ino. "Fiancé, actually. Gomenne, baka sempai. Your Shikamaru-sama is sooooo taken."

"He acts like he doesn't give a care in the world," Chouji sniggered. "But we all know that he worships the ground that she threads on – and, let me just say, that woman dominates a _lot_ of ground…"

"It's giving him hives, I bet, that he can't brag about his engagement to his fans." Kiba chortled, finishing off, "But Temari specifically told him not to and what Temari wants…"

"…Shikamaru wants too!" Naruto and Chouji joined in, all three making whipping motions and sounds to summarize their point. Sakura and Hinata giggled at the boys' implicit opinion of Shikamaru's pussy-whipped-ness while Ino buried her face in her ramen bowl and burst into tears.

But Sasuke didn't give a damn about whether Shikamaru was betrothed or befuddled or bedazzled. All the Uchiha heir knew during the rest of the rambunctious dinner was how Naruto's actions were just a tad exaggerated and how his glorious voice was just a tad strained – how those gorgeous eyes would rest on a weepy Ino and then away in self-loathing. And Sasuke knew exactly what the dobe was thinking – what Naruto had said the first day they'd met: "_The Dead Last vocal is a living boy band nightmare – he can't really sing in that weird voice of his but people let him pretend he can because he has a pretty face. Tell me that's not a tragedy of commercialism._"

Much to Sasuke's immense infuriation, his idol was thinking himself a tragedy – a failure to his band and to his own dream. Worse, Sasuke knew exactly how that felt. So exactly it stung.

* * *

After the earth-shattering (or, at least to Ino) revelation, Iruka sensei had also popped his pony-tailed head around the corner and offered the underage teenagers the leftover sake that he couldn't finished (because he's just so nice like that!). This was on account of the fact that he now had to take care of a drunken Kakashi sensei. ("Druken": after handing Shikamaru the cell phone, the silver-haired manager had plopped to the floor like a wet fish – almost as if he'd "just remembered" he "should be" intoxicated.) As futile cries of "But you only had two glasses!" came from the adult's booth, _Dead Last_ and the four high school girls had recited the popular phrase "There are sober kids in India" and dutifully finished off every last drop of alcohol.

This may be the reason why after a bitter Iruka had paid The Baa-ba and put up with her ensuing hissy fit (at being paid??), a cheerful (and somehow suddenly sober) Kakashi drove home: one bright pink Sakura practicing drumming on the broad shoulders of one easygoing Chouji with her ramen-covered chopsticks; one bawling Ino sucking on an empty sake bottle and singing "My Heart Will Go On" in a cracked voice; one Shikamaru rolling his eyes in the back seat and rather preoccupied with his earnest (though he was trying to hide it) text messaging; one Kiba telling one cute Hinata that she was his type for what must be the five millionth six hundredth and forty-eighth time that night; and one slightly flushed Naruto in the arms of one really flushed Sasuke.

It was no wonder that Sasuke was a tad disappointed when the black van squeaked in front of a glitzy apartment complex and Naruto untangled himself (with some difficulty) from his arms and lumbered out of the vehicle, reporting, "Well! This is my STOP! Everyone! ARIGATOUGOZAIMASU! MASU! MASU!"

Laughing away Hinata's "Na-naruto-sama? Are you… okay…?" and Sakura's "Come home with me, Nat-chan!", Naruto tottered on his feet for a second before pointing an accusing finger at Ino and shouting, "And you! You suck! Ino-pigpigpigpig!!"

In reply, the blonde hurled her empty sake bottle at the rock star. It missed his head by a good meter (mainly because Sasuke had deflected it by stealing Sakura's chopsticks and hitting it away midair) and shattered on the pavement. The sound roused Ino and she burst into a fresh round of tears, screaming, "I know! I knoooow!! My life is OVER!"

Grinning, Naruto swaggered around to wave at his band, "Kiba! Don't get too cozy, hear? Hinata's MY fan! MINE! (Accordingly, the Hyuuga heir's face flashed the colors of the rainbow.) Chouji! I don't think Sakura's drum lessons are coming along too good, eh? And Shika! Give Temari-chan a looooooooonnnng chuuuuuuuu for me!" That said, the dobe whipped around to face Sasuke, "And you! Sasuke sempai! What are you doing, huh? Get out of the fucking van and come up to my room with me, looooser."

(Note: Underage children should not drink. Right. Don't drink. Um, tee hee?)

The raven-haired boy needed no other invitation. Leaping felinely from the van, Sasuke linked arms with Naruto and resisted the innate urge to flick off everybody else as the black vehicle retreated with Sakura and Hinata sticking their heads out to stare at him, doing their now well-synched blowfish imitation.

"C'mon, c'mon!" Naruto babbled, pulling on Sasuke's arm. "You'll like my apartment. If you want, hee hee, I can get you a spare key? How 'bout it, neeeeeeh?"

"Whatever dobe." Sasuke shrugged, his blush totally giving his inner thoughts away. (My, my, I wonder what Sasuke's answer to _that_ one will be…)

Giggling, Naruto led the way. It was a scifi movie all the way up to the penthouse – armed men carrying futuristic artillery kept blocking their way, hollering "A FEMALE!! NARUTO-SAMA, SAVE YOURSELF!" Each time, the dobe waved them away saying, "This is Sasuke sempai. It's alright, it's alright. Sempai is my frieeend. Frieeeeeeend."

His apartment was unexpectedly clean – though the entire ambiance of the place was Naruto-fied. Little hills of ramen were lovingly stacked on the countertops, competing with the various sheets of music and guitar strings stuffed here and there. The walls were plastered with framed photos of Naruto and his band – unlike those in Sasuke's room, however, all of them were behind-the-scene clips. Laughing and crying – without a hint of computer editing and captured in all realistic roughness. Sasuke's Naruto had been gorgeous since birth though; there were many pictures of an adorable blonde baby in the arms of an unrealistically handsome couple…

"Your parents, dobe?" Sasuke said, noticing the electric blue in the man's eyes and the shape of Naruto's lips in the woman's loving smile.

"Un, un! Though, uh, they're not in this world anymore." Naruto joined the raven-haired boy's side and told him what he already knew from all those hours of wikipedia stalking. Unlike what the raven-haired boy would have expected, the blonde grinned unreservedly into the portrait. "I better move my ass if I can sing well enough by the time I join them in nirvana, eh?"

"Listen, Naruto, about what Ino said today – " The Uchiha heir started, only to be cut off by the _Dead Last _vocal's sudden laugh.

"S'true, though."

"Hey! Let me talk."

"It's true!" Naruto snapped with angry finality. Almost immediately apologetic for losing his temper, the blonde hurriedly rushed out, "C-can we, uh, not talk about it? Please, sempai?"

And there was no resisting Uzumaki Naruto when he asked a favor of Sasuke in that amazing voice of his. Dropping his arms that he'd raised to – to what? – the Uchiha reluctantly resumed his picture surveying. Clearing his throat, the raven-haired boy ineloquently changed the topic. "At least both your parents are dead, dobe. One of mine is sticking to his life like a leech."

"What are you saying?" Naruto gaped, his blue eyes getting huge with curious horror. He took a wary step away, gasping, "About your – "

"Father's still alive." Sasuke answered, stopping in front of a particularly large frame. "That bastard's being alive makes me want to shoot myself. And there's my happy family story for you."

Another moment of still surprise, then the blonde started laughing softly. "You are so funny, sempai."

"That's the first time someone laughed about it, though." Sasuke grinned back.

Naruto drew closer, beaming impishly. Sasuke could smell the sake on the other's breath and the soap on his skin. While the Uchiha tried not to be too obvious about drinking it in, the _Dead Last _vocal teased, "Neh, neh? Want me to tell you a secret too? Something that's not written in _Uzumaki Naruto: Behind the Pretty Face_? Or maybe _The Angel Voice of Dead Last: What You'd Sell Your Soul to Know_?"

Sasuke scowled – he wouldn't have admitted he'd read both (and even studied, dog-eared, and highlighted his copies of _Fangirls' Bedtime Story: The Collected Accounts of Uzumaki Naruto Wet Dreams _Parts One, Two, and Three – hey! They're fanbooks, okay?).

Gesturing the taller boy towards his sofa, Naruto cleared his throat. As both sunk into the sofa's leathery folds, the dobe's husky voice rang through the dimly lit apartment – so that Sasuke wouldn't have been able to avoid their echoes had he actually wanted to.

Naruto fidgeted a little more before clearing his throat again. And beginning: "In the spirit of drunken confession, here it goes, Sasuke sempai. I, uh, have to tell you that I had a girl, um, this girl I liked before. One I really, really liked. So, actually, I lied in all those interviews for 'zines. I didn't always know I wanted to sing. All I knew for a long time was, uh, the girl. All I knew was her."

The blonde burst out laughing, as if he'd said something funny. Sasuke silently and vehemently disagreed, wondering how suddenly he wanted to poison this someone. But then, wouldn't that not be long and painful enough? Did she ask the Uchiha's permission to have Naruto like her – did she, did she?

"She's been a huge band whore since I can remember." Naruto continued, oblivious to the slow smoke rising from Sasuke's ears. "We, uh, our parents were pretty tight so we grew up together. And she'd drag me to all these gigs. Even these seriously crappy ones with ugly boys mad at their fathers and, like, screaming about it. It drove me up the wall. Especially after my parents died and I, um, started living with her and her family. All I wanted was her and all she wanted was one frog-like vocal after another after another."

Gutting. Sasuke would gut her. And strangle her with her own intestines. Did she ask the Uchiha's permission to be Naruto's childhood friend – did she, did she? It was a felony punishable by DEATH!!11!! by any fair law, Sasuke was sure.

"This is going to sound pathetic but, er, I took a year's leave of absence from school to join a band. You know. For her. To tell you the truth, all I cared about at first was looking cool – so I could say to her, 'Hey, look. This stuff is not all that, okay? Wake up and notice me.'" Naruto stopped short, only starting again carefully, "But then, I don't know, things changed. I stopped caring about looking anything at all. I even stopped really caring about her for a bit."

Okay, so maybe Sasuke didn't have to be so harsh on this unknown foolish girl. He'd just guillotine her – neat and simple like.

Naruto scratched his head, giving Sasuke an almost apologetic smile. "I just wanted to sing well enough to be, you know, to be okay for _Dead Last _– to be okay enough that mom and dad, watching from wherever they must be now, would think, 'Naru-chan was worth having borne. He was worth living for.'"

Naruto turned to smile, both drunkenly and seriously, at Sasuke.

"And in those days of my neglect, she, well, she left. She, er, she hooked up with a musician who was already worthy of that title. And, um – I know I deserved it and all since I'd been shallow and snooty about music the whole time, but I just couldn't really, uh, I didn't really forgive her for the longest time."

"Naruto…" Sasuke whispered sharply.

"But it's okay." Naruto swiveled around to face Sasuke, finally noticing the other's intense red glare. "But it's really okay now because, you know, I think it's called 'first love' because there's usually a 'second' and a 'third' love, right? It's okay because, I think I found another precious person - the one that's for real."

The world was void of air. That's how it felt – Sasuke couldn't breathe. All he could do was draw in dry breathes and watch Naruto's moist pink lips shape the prettiest words in the world.

"I think I found my true precious person now." Naruto said.

* * *

By chance or fate, the next morning, the four girls (or three girls and one cross-dresser) found themselves face to face at the front gates of school (a little late to make the first two classes, but still pretty good for students suffering major hangovers). Today, the stunningly beautiful Ino looked stunningly out-of-it. Her normally glossy blonde tresses were knotted into a beehive on top of her head. Her gorgeous purple flecked blue eyes were webbed with bloodshot veins and rimmed with dark circles. Her shiny skin seemed used; her uniform was disheveled; and she kept mopping her dripping nose on her already browned sleeve. To summarize: Konoha's Madonna totally looked like shit – and the rare event wasn't going unnoticed by her peers.

However, her two best friends seemed oblivious – actually, quite appreciative of – the savage whispers and evil laughter following the glum Ino. Sakura, looking especially pretty with her neatly combed pink locks cascading gently about her shoulders, stared down the bridge of her nose at the blonde. Hinata, her pale cheeks flushed and her white eyes wide with a righteous anger, bit her lip and looked purposefully away from the mess that was Yamanaka.

"Serves you right for saying all that crap about Naruto-kun yesterday." Sakura snapped, flipping her perfectly styled hair over her shoulder – perfectly stylishly.

"Have you… apologized to Naruto-sama… yet?" Hinata whispered pointedly, smoothing out an invisible wrinkle on her perfectly ironed fuuku.

"Oh, just SHUT! UP!" Ino wailed, blowing her nose on the edge of her splotchy blouse. "Can't you see that I'm suffering enough because of the, the APOSTROPHIC NEWS from yesterday? MaaaaaaaaAAHHhhh??"

"Like you had a chance with him anyway." Sakura muttered, taking Hinata by the arm and leading her away to their classroom.

As the two girls all but sauntered away, Hinata said to her companion, "Sakura, maybe… maybe we could… i-invite Na-Naruto-sama… for… for some home-made… r-ramen? To… cheer him up from his… encounter with _her_? A-and Kiba-kun might… want to come…?"

Glaring after them with swollen eyes, Ino whipped back to glower at an expressionless Sasuke. "Go on! You too! Gloat for all I care! My life's doomed already so… DO YOUR WORST! BRING IT!!"

In reply, Sasuke pulled out a handkerchief from her back pocket and passed it to the hysterically yelping blonde girl. "Wipe your face. You look awful."

Silence.

Finally, a very touched Ino choked out, "Sa-Sasuke…" Taking the piece of cloth graciously, she stuttered, "I… that's just so kind of you…"

"And don't bother giving it back." Sasuke warned, cutting Ino off and stalking to class herself. "It's bound to get disgusting."

"THAT'S CRUEL!!"

Arguing (one-sidedly), the covering-her-ears-in-irritation brunette and the raving-and-spraying-spit-everywhere blonde made their way to the second year corridor. Surprisingly, they found it crammed with near crazed onlookers.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING!!"

"GYAaaaaaHHhhhH! NARUTO-SAMA! NARUTOoooooOO-SAMA!!"

"TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE! SOMEONE TELL ME IT'S A LIE!!"

"DON'T STOP ME – I'M GOING TO EAT ALL THESE ASPIRINS!"

"CHIHIRO! GET A GRIP, GIRL! AT LEAST STAY ALIVE LONG ENOUGH TO UPLOAD ALL THE PICTURES YOU TOOK AT THE CONCERT LAST NIGHT!"

Disdainful of the estrogen level in the room, the raven-haired girl wrinkled her nose and hissed, "What's going on?" – roughly pushing a little first year girl out of her way (possibly maiming her for life) and elbowing forward.

At her quiet words, the reaction was magically instantaneous. The crowd parted like an ice cream cake between a hot knife and, suddenly, there was a narrow path to her classroom door – where a scarlet-faced Sakura and a teary-eyed Hinata was waiting. With Ino too close behind (and probably getting crap on her uniform, the freak), Sasuke made her way towards the two girls.

"Sakura. Hinata. Tell me what the hell – "

And then there was no need for questions. Turning, Sasuke saw the cause of the fuss. On top of the teacher's desk, one Uzumaki Naruto was perched like a schoolgirl's fantasy. Iruka must have finally gotten his hands on the dobe's uniform, because the black pants hugged the narrow hips precariously and now managed to stretch to the feet of Naruto's long legs. The white shirt clung just enough to accent his thin waist and muscled back. His tie undone and his top buttons open, Naruto's famous jade necklace was visible glistening next to his collarbone.

The blonde himself was ever so slightly dolled up: His bright yellow hair was short and sleek – glistening as if recently washed and gelled. His long lashes were spiked with a hint of black mascara and the dark eyeliner rimming the electric blue gave the young boy's gaze a premature depth. A silver chain dangled from his left ear, momentarily resting on the glossiness of Naruto's neck as he cocked his head to one side. But, most of all, the dobe himself seemed to be glowing – Sasuke had never seen Uzumaki Naruto smile like this in all her many hours of internet stalking. That smile was for one person – so rare, that precious.

At the two girls' appearance, Naruto hopped fluidly from his seat. Shaking his head so that for a split second Sasuke was dazzled with flashes of gold, Naruto reeled in his breath and parted his soft lips. A flick of red tongue and then –

"I like you."

Naruto glanced up hurting in his own honesty, his eyes unhindered blue – blue – blue –

"So, go out with me. Please."

He was loosening his jade necklace with a fumbling haste. With a boyish bark of a laugh, he did the delicate chain again over her messy head.

"I was crazy about you from the second I saw you, Ino sempai. You are seriously my type. So, uh, be my girlfriend."

At the horrified silence hovering all around them and Ino's own shocked look, Naruto seemed to falter slightly. Then, the beautiful blond vocal looked up and, not by coincidence, his surreal gaze found Sasuke. Seeing the raven-haired girl's unmoving features, the dobe seemed to collect himself again. Gently hugging Ino towards him now – quite oblivious to her slovenly appearance – Naruto asked again, his chin resting on her shoulder and a hint of a plead ringing in his gorgeous voice:

"Please be mine because – because, well, because I love you."

* * *

A/N: It's a cliffee… hee, hee? (ducks onslaught of hurled stuff) Review or prepare to fall off here. Muhahahaha. (jerks head back to laugh and ends up falling on ass) _Kuso…_

Anyway, please let me know what you think about all these going-ons (I think I fooled quite a number of you in the last chap, lol) and I'll see you in the next installment. Always, SasuNaru Hearts! Rosesareblue.


	7. The Key

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is drawn and written by a fantastically splendid, wonderfully cute, and very talented manga artist: the Masashi Kishimoto. (And Kishimoto-san, if you are, by the slimmest chance, reading this and somehow understanding the English, please elope with me; I will bring the bags of onigiri.)

**Chapter Rating: **PG-13

**Author's Note:** I must say, I really like writing the girls in this. When Girls evolve into Fangirls, they are like pokemon – they suddenly get more vicious. Lol, Inner Sakura and Inner Hinata for the win!

Oh, as of late, I must also add this: SASUKE IS A DICK. HATEHATEHATEHATEKILLKILLKILL...

**My E-mail:** rosesareblue at ymail dot com (Write me with any comments or suggestions. Remember, there's nothing like feedback that improves an author's moral/writing.)

**/ D E A D / L A S T /**

**By Rosesareblue**

_Chapter Seven: The Key_

"Come on! You guys can't ignore me forever!"

"Did you hear something, Hinata?" Sakura said pointedly, taking a savage bite of her apple.

"No…" Hinata replied primly, gingerly wiping the corners of her lips with her napkin. "But it might have been… an awful sort of person who…"

"Who didn't even LIKE Naruto in the first place, but SUDDENLY changed her mind like a TOTAL TRAITOR. Yea, I completely agree." Sakura spat out, pieces of apple going flying over her lunch.

"I never said I didn't like Naruto! I just liked Shikamaru better."

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID NO TO HIS CONFESSION, YOU BENEDICT ARNOLD, YOU JUDAS!" The pink-haired girl shrieked, finally turning around to glare at her ex-best friend. Ino was sitting off in a corner of the classroom because her three dearest friends had declared that not only would they never speak to her again, but kinda implied they would rip her apart with their bare hands if she got too close to them.

"It was… very crude of you… to accept his offer after… all those mean things… you said last night! Especially when… you are someone else's fan!" Hinata hissed, her usually gentle white eyes round with passion. "And when Naruto fans… like us… were there to witness it..."

"AS ANOTHER _DEAD LAST_ FAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE GIVING UP ON SHIKAMARU JUST BECAUSE HE HAS SOME BITCH GIRLFRIEND." Sakura went on, hollering. "I STILL LOVE NARUTO EVEN WHEN SOME TRAITOR PIG BUTT IN!"

The pink-haired girl's rant was met with a chorus of agreement from every other girl in the classroom, all of whom whipped around to glare daggers at a blushing Ino.

"Did-did none of you see how Naruto confessed to me?" Ino babbled, her face growing redder and redder in a mix of humiliation and anger. "How can any living, breathing girl resist someone who looks and acts like _that_? Dumb as he acts sometimes, he's _that_ Uzumaki Naruto for pete's sakes! The _Dead Last_ vocal! You have to understand, please… S-Sasuke?!"

When the blonde Madonna turned pleading eyes on the silent brunette, a hush fell over the room. Sasuke had been sitting absolutely still, eating her lunch almost mechanically with her eyes flickering fast from black to angry red. Finally, at Ino's plea, the tall girl slammed her chopsticks down and rose from her seat.

Deathly quiet, Sasuke stated without much elaboration, "You fuck with Naruto and I _will_ kill you."

"I – I won't." Ino stammered. "I told him yes and – and I meant it. I really do! I will be his girlfriend – a good girlfriend!"

"That's it, then." Not saying anything more, the raven-haired girl stalked from the room. Sakura and Hinata winced after her.

"Gee, I knew Sasuke-chan was a Naruto fan but…" Sakura bit her lips. "That was… um… _WOW_."

Hinata bobbed her head, her cropped hair falling in front of her eyes. "She must be… so very hurt."

That said, both girls turned to glower meaningfully at Ino, who blurted, "I am sorry, I am sorry! I am a Naruto fan from this morning on, okay?! Will you forgive me now?"

"No, that just makes it worse. Why are you going out with him when I obviously liked him for _longer_?" Sakura snapped as Hinata, nodding dutifully, rolled her pearly eyes in exasperation. The classroom resumed eating their lunches/ignoring a desperate Ino.

* * *

Sasuke leaned on the railing, looking down at the school grounds below. He was on the rooftop once again, trying to find the familiar blond head and object of his brooding to no avail. All he heard were random high pitched shrieks of protest coming from the open window of his own classroom; from the sound of it, Sakura and Hinata were communicating their grudge with Ino more physically now. Two on one. It was hardly fair…

…that Sasuke wasn't there to help crush that Itachi-like traitor.

An annoying voice at the back of his mind was chiding his fury with Ino. That voice was taunting: Wasn't Sasuke angry with Ino simply because he didn't want to be mad at Naruto himself? After all, it was the vocalist who had chosen Ino over him – without any good reason too. Ino was Shikamaru's fan. And she wasn't even nice to Naruto. Granted, Sasuke was a tad bitchy too – maybe – but he'd never say all that slander like some dumb, loud, obnoxious girl –

Sasuke stopped in mid-thought. Maybe that was it. Ino was a girl. A girl among girls. And Sasuke wasn't. Even the dobe must have sensed something was wrong…

But it was no use being angry with his idol. Naruto had to be perfect because Sasuke needed him to be. Sasuke's entire life was like his room now; if the beautiful blond boy was taken away, it would become totally barren, shamefully naked. There was no way Sasuke could go back.

So, much better to devise a plan to accidentally-on-purpose push Yamanaka Ino off a cliff…

"Is that you, Sasuke sempai?"

If he hadn't been an Uchiha, Sasuke would have jumped at the sudden intrusion.

"How often do you trespass here to ditch class?" The oh-so-erotic voice went on. "Mou, you are almost as bad as me!"

The Uchiha didn't turn around, afraid that he might (for some alien reason unbeknownst to him) look hurt. Instead, he pushed his long bangs in front of his eyes and said without looking back, "Wha-what are you doing here, dobe?"

Naruto rushed up besides the raven-haired boy, leaning close to peer carefully at his face. The dobe's sky blue eyes twinkled mischievously, a little bit out of place against the blackened lashes. The contrast made the usuratonkachi seem like… like some spirit of a sunny, cute child peering out from the accidental body of a sensual, masculine boy. That dangerous dichotomy was just stunning – period. And Sasuke had to remember that it was this boy's job to go up on stage and be adored by a million eyes for his raw beauty.

"Getting away from my classmates, of course." The vocalist was saying somewhat smugly, seemingly unmindful of the other's hungry eyes. "They are giving me hell for dating the prettiest girl in school – but that was to be expected, ne?"

"You like… pretty girls, dobe?" Sasuke pointedly looked off into the distance, because that made it seem like he didn't care.

Naruto laughed at that. "No duh. I am a guy. Of course I like 'em!"

"Oh." The raven-haired boy muttered.

"Although…" The blond tapped his lip.

"Although…?" Sasuke wanted to know, straightening up.

"I think I go for the sexy type a bit more than the pretty type." Naruto answered, almost apologetically. "Ne, I wonder if that makes me a lech like Kakashi sensei…"

The Uchiha sulked, sitting down and leaning his back on the railing, "I don't know, dobe."

"So… what type do you like, Sasuke sempai?" Naruto wanted to know, sitting down next to him. "Or, uh, do you never think about that kinda stuff?"

"I don't like girls for one thing." Sasuke stated dryly.

The blond vocalist snickered at that, exclaiming, "Really...?!"

The raven-haired boy dropped his head against his knees, sighing. "Why are we talking about this at all, dobe. I don't give a damn."

"Gee, someone's in a mood today." Naruto started to joke and stopped short when he got a good look at Sasuke's face. "Hey, wait a minute… are you mad at me, Sasuke sempai? You kinda look… angry."

When Sasuke's head instantly snapped back up, Naruto flinched.

"Whoa, you are mad? At me, right? Holy shit, did I, uh, maybe do something to you at my apartment while I was drunk? Is that it?"

The Uchiha dropped his head again. Gawd, why did he even bother?? "No, idiot. You just fell asleep. I moved you into your bedroom and slept in the guest room."

If Sasuke felt at all guilty about this very edited version of the story, no twitch of expression revealed it. After ranting about his precious person (that in his own drunken state, the Uchiha had dared to think was himself), the inebriated Naruto had pitched forward and fallen asleep with his nose buried against Sasuke's shoulder. After shaking him furiously (yelling something like "get to the part where you say you like men, damn you") and realizing the blonde was out cold, the Uchiha forced himself to remain on the moral high ground by not stripping and raping this oblivious guy of his dreams. Instead, Sasuke had settled for jacking off to the sight of Naruto passed out on the leather couch with most of his shirt unbuttoned (it had come undone in all that shaking).

However, the raven-haired boy had felt minimal guilt at using the actual blond to masturbate with in front of the smiling pictures of said blond's deceased parents (after all, Sasuke should make a good first impression since he planned to be their future son-in-law). So, the Uchiha had whisked Naruto into the bedroom, ripped off the bothersome shirt, given himself a hand job while ogling his half-naked idol, and gone off to the guest room to convince himself that he was not pathetic while simultaneously counting half-naked Narutos jumping over a fence.

But, of course, it was not necessary to tell Naruto all this – especially because said dobe was now going off on how remarkably strong and agile Sasuke must be to be able to carry him to his bed without his waking. All this was said with the same mouth that had just proclaimed to liking pretty and sexy. And Sasuke would despise the sonuvabitch if he didn't love him so terribly much…

"Naruto?"

Sasuke didn't realize he had called out to the blond till said boy stopped yapping and blinked at the sudden serious tone of the raven-haired boy's voice. "Hmm?"

"Is Ino… is this Ino thing part of the… um… the pretend girlfriend plan?" The Uchiha heir said slowly, so that he wouldn't betray that this supposition was his last dear hope. "Or do you, uh, actually like her?"

Naruto's wide blue eyes instantly narrowed. "What? Of course I like her for real! I thought that was obvious!"

"I was just wondering dobe…" Sasuke sighed, leaning his head back against the railing. Damn. Damn.

There was an awkward silence in which one Uchiha Sasuke was bitterly disappointed and one Uzumaki Naruto was bitterly offended – though both struggled to hide it. At last, the blond snapped out of it first. Taking a sideways peek at his broody companion, Naruto cleared his throat.

"Oh, so, I forgot to give this to you this morning with all that was going on."

"Hnnn?" Sasuke looked up from glowering, to see Naruto fishing over a small wrapped box. The bow was simple silver; the wrapping paper shiny blue. On instinct, he snapped, "What the fuck is this? Are you possessed, dobe?"

"And I love you too, sempai." Naruto joked. "Open it, open it!"

Maybe it was Sasuke who was possessed because, for some mysterious reason, he didn't want to rip the bow or the paper. Doing his best to ignore Naruto's urgings, he slowly peeled off the wrappings and opened the box. Inside, on the end of a silver chain, there was a key.

"You thought I would forget because I was super wasted," Naruto quipped. "But I totally remembered. Here it is!"

"Here is what?" The Uchiha asked, carefully taking out the delicate chain and staring at the key curiously.

"The key to my apartment." The blond vocalist said, as if that was no big deal. "Top secret, okay? Don't let anyone else have it, ne?"

Sasuke snorted away the unnecessary warnings and put the thin chain over his head, all the while saying contrary things, "And why the hell are you giving this to me, dobe?"

Naruto was surprised by the very question: "Isn't it obvious? You don't get along with your father so I kinda thought you might like coming home to someplace else once in a while. Have one of the spare rooms at my place. There are randomly several toilets too, so you can take your pick."

"You just want someone to cook you high cholesterol food and clean up your shit, usuratonkachi." Sasuke muttered – though, truth be told, he would have gladly done all that and more for that key hanging against his chest.

The blond vocalist merely found the retort amusing. "Get real, Sasuke sempai. I have a guy come by every other day to stick some meals in the fridge and do most of the cleaning. I am giving that to you because…" An adorable, impish grin appeared on the dobe's pink lips. "…_we_ are _friends_."

That took the Uchiha by surprise, making him choke, "I-is that what we are?"

"The best of friends." Naruto assured him, leaping to his feet and dusting himself off. "I never was so honest with anyone like I was with you last night. Granted, I was severely drunk... but still! It's gotta count for something, right?"

With that, Naruto reached down to help Sasuke to his feet. The Uchiha, careful to angle his head away so that his blush wasn't too evident, took the blond vocalist's hand. But instead of letting himself be gently tugged up, the raven-haired boy yanked the dobe towards him so that the smaller boy pitched into his lap with a startled cry.

"You are so klutzy, usuratonkachi." Sasuke whispered, hugging Naruto's shoulders. "Get off me."

"I am trying but – hey, what are you doing! Let go, Sasuke sempai?!" The blonde protested, struggling against the raven-haired boy's possessive grip. "Now that I gave you the key, I wanna go see Ino sempai!"

And the Uchiha answered quietly enough that the other boy couldn't hear, "Don't go, dobe. Stay with me instead."

* * *

Sasuke stretched out on his bed, angling his laptop screen down with his foot as he continued to fold another shirt into his suitcase. It was 5:07 pm and he was home and already packing to move into Naruto's house (since Uchihas are just so time efficient like that!). Playing on his laptop that minute was one of the several hundred video clips online featuring the insanity that had happened after school – proof that all of Konoha had now probably heard about the new celeb couple. The Uchiha heir scowled as Ino's face flashed across his screen. She wasn't too terrible looking… for a female chimp.

Yamanaka had decided before the day was done to fix herself up a bit (perhaps after the eleventh passerby had snapped a not-so-secret cell phone picture of her and snickered outright) and take a shower in the girl's locker room. Sakura had made a big scene when she outright refused to lend her now officially ex-BFF their favorite Strawberry Sparkle Body Wash from her locker. Hinata, too, had suddenly grown stingy about her fifty thousand yen shampoo. Of course, Sasuke hadn't made a scene (since Uchihas just didn't work that way), though he did cause some difficulty for the blonde girl by using her towel to wipe up a mess – outside – that he had made – on purpose – but why go into so much detail?

Maybe it was because Yamanaka Ino's long sunwashed hair was spilling over her shoulders and not in the normal cheerleader ponytail, because she wasn't wearing her usual flashy touches of makeup, or because she was scrunching her shoulders in (away from all the girls who turned feral when she passed) – but Miss Konoha looked rather tiny on footage, especially next to a beaming Naruto who dominated each shot. Yesterday's boisterousness seemingly MIA, the poor girl was reduced to eep-ing and uh-huh-ing as her rock star boyfriend ranted on and on…

Pitiful, bitch, just pitiful. Uchiha Sasuke would never fumble like that. Never. Period.

As Sasuke couldn't help but appreciate the fact that whoever had filmed this kept zooming in for a close up of Naruto's face, the couple exited the school gates and was greeted by a throng of reporters knocking heads with protruding mikes and swirling cameras. Ino ducked behind Naruto – don'ttouchhimwhoredon'ttouch himwhoredon'ttouchhimwhore… - as questions started flying violently:

"WHAT WAS YOUR PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH UZUMAKI-SAN, YAMANAKA-SAN? ARE YOU IN IT FOR THE FAME? THE MONEY?"

"HI, WE REPRESENT _CELEBRITY PINK_ – WHERE DID YOU MEET? WHO CONFESSED? HOW FAR DO YOU INTEND TO GO?"

"ARE YOU TRYING TO BRING BACK THE BEDHEAD LOOK, YAMANAKA-SAN? WE'VE RECEIVED SOME PICTURES THAT MAKE US WONDER – "

"WHAT IS SEX LIKE WITH UZUMAKI-SAN? HOW GOOD IS IT, SCALE OF ONE TO TEN? CAN YOU TELL US A BIT IN DETAIL??"

As Sasuke was strangling a guiltless sock, one of the reporters reached for a bewildered Ino. Only then did Naruto, who had till then been happily flashing V's all around, spring to action; fluidly pushing the offending hand aside, the blond grabbed the nearest mike and boomed into it: "Hey guys. No touching, just looking, all right? Touching is my job."

At the vocal's bold remark, the lifeless sock fell from a shocked Sasuke's grasp. Similarly, whoever was filming this dropped her camera in surprise and unleashed a stream of curse words (mainly about Ino) that would have killed a sailor. After a bit of fumbling, the camera was resurrected and Sasuke saw the reporters, now with greedy eyes, resume the hounding full force:

"YAMANAKA-SAN, WOULD YOU SAY UZUMAKI-SAN WAS THE POSSESSIVE TYPE – "

"HOW DO YOU TWO KEEP IT _HOT _– "

"ARE YOU BOTHERED BY ANY OF THE SCANDALOUS RUMORS FROM UZUMAKI-SAN'S PAST – "

"WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BRAND OF LIP GLOSS, YAMANAKA-SAN?!"

The rest of the interrogation was cut off by the (always) abrupt appearance of the famous black van, which may or may not have run over some of the reporters on the periphery the crowd (all that "blood" could be somebody's spilled ketchup, after all). As Kakashi worked his magic ninja moves ("HEY, LOOK OVER THERE!!"), one stone-faced Chouji nearly hurled one excitedly gesticulating Naruto into the van over the heads of the distracted reporters while one cursing Kiba urged one relieved Ino to get on board too. Seconds later, the van was burning rubber down the streets (this time crushing only one stray cameraman beneath its wheels). The clip captured about seven hundred and twenty-two cell phones and cameras flashing after the retreating van before ending with a Dead Last fansite address and a plea not to upload the film elsewhere (oops, too bad, it was already on "anatatube") and for donations (yeah right).

Sasuke growled as he shoved his laptop to one side and fell backwards onto his bed. The raven-haired boy looked up at his favorite poster of Naruto over his bed and whispered savagely, "You are a fucking idiot, Naruto. Why Ino? Out of all the god awful choices, why that bitch who spewed all that crap about you?"

Groaning, the Uchiha buried his face into pillow and dragged out Naruto's gift from his pocket. The silver key glittered in the fluorescent light, so pretty, so very pretty.

"You have bad taste. You are so stubborn. You don't know what you really want. And I bet you just want attention."

Sasuke menacingly shook the key.

"And I know all of it because… you remind me of me, dobe. You remind me of me, somehow."

What the fuck was this? Uchiha Sasuke and unrequited love just did not belong in the same sentence – paragraph – book. Gawd, but if he didn't have a penis, Sasuke could very well be the star of a third-class cheesy romance manga right about now… well screw that. Screw Naruto. Screw Ino. And screw all of mankind too for good measure. The Uchiha furiously flung the key away, so that it cracked something into bits before falling behind his dresser.

Seconds later, Sasuke found himself on his hands and knees sliding his hand around in dust for the key. What the fuck was he thinking? If he didn't haul his ass over to Naruto's apartment this instant, Ino might steal _more _of what was rightfully Sasuke's (i.e. Naruto's virginity – since the Uchiha's mind wouldn't even let itself toy with the possibility that the blond was not). Adrenaline kicking in, Sasuke hurled his entire dresser to one side and unearthed the precious key.

There was still hope. As long as he had this, there was still hope…

…and if not, he would just kill Ino and revel in her mutilated body. Yep. She'd deserve it too. Speaking of vengeance, Sasuke should probably leave that asshole who dared share his blood (a.k.a. Uchiha Itachi) a note or something saying he wouldn't be around for about… forever. Not that even his father could stop him from moving in with Naruto, but Sasuke wanted to remind the bastard that he was in no way backing out from the humiliating bet now that he'd come so far. The Uchiha heir would make it through high school as a female – and, on his graduation day, ram his cock up Naruto's ass on the school roof (and yes, he was going to be inappropriately explicit about it, thanks). It would be celebratory sex, commemorating the day that Sasuke would be stripped of the cursed Uchiha name, the demeaning female getup, and, if all went well, his freedom to have all the gay sex he wanted with his idol (who would by then have realized that he was one, gay, two, loved Sasuke and conveniently wished "she" were a "he," and three, realized Ino was better off steamrollered).

Feeling marginally better now that he had his game plan laid out, Sasuke did something he had done exactly thrice in his life so far (once when his mother passed away, once to leave a note before going off to boarding school, and once to declare his intentions to be an actor): visit Itachi's office. Finding that his father wasn't in, the relieved Uchiha heir scrawled a quick note ("Moving out. Will still honor deal. Sasuke.") and was about to hurry away when a gust of wind blew his note and several sheets of paper from Itachi's mahogany desk.

Cursing under his breath, Sasuke deftly recovered the loose leafs and anchored them down with paperweights that looked like the Uchiha emblem. The wind was coming from the open door of an adjacent room – one he'd never noticed before. But then, Sasuke doubted he'd been inside half the rooms in the dojo. Entering the foreign enclave, seemingly some cushy sitting room, the raven-haired boy slammed shut the open window and whirled around to leave…

And froze. Absolutely froze.

The silk of golden brown skin, glistening with sweat. The long slender legs in a feline crouch, ready to pounce. The redness of the protruding tongue sliding against the back of that handsome hand, those tapered fingers. The famous jade necklace swinging against the naked chest and accented collarbone. The white fur, shocking against the sun-kissed skin, covering just enough – just barely enough. The pointy ears emerging out of the head full of bright yellow locks. And the two huge, dewy eyes the color of electricity.

The poster of Neko Naruto stared down at Sasuke from the wall of Itachi's private room.

"Why…" The Uchiha reeled in a faltering breath. "Why are you here, dobe?"

* * *

A/N: Please REVIEW!! I'll have the next chapter out after I hear back from a bunch of you guys, ne :D. Naruto hearts! Rosesareblue.

* * *


	8. Your Secret

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is drawn and written by a fantastically splendid, wonderfully cute, and very talented manga artist: the Masashi Kishimoto. (And Kishimoto-san, if you are, by the slimmest chance, reading this and somehow understanding the English, please elope with me; I will bring the bags of onigiri.)

**Chapter Rating: **R

**Author's Note: **Readers, I'm so (x 9000) sorry I haven't been posting for so long. Real life and fan world don't mesh too well. I'll try to have UUS and Give You Back updates out as soon as possible too, so stay posted.

**My E-mail:** rosesareblue at ymail dot com (Write me with any comments or suggestions - and I'll be better about getting back to you in a timely manner. Remember, there's nothing like feedback that improves an author's moral/writing and keeps the chapters coming.)

**/ D E A D / L A S T /  
**

**By Rosesareblue**

_Chapter Eight: Your Secret_

Sasuke was so enthralled by the Neko Naruto poster, seemingly so out of place against the fancy walls of Itachi's private chamber, that he uncharacteristically twitched when his cell phone exploded music: "Your every day is of lies / so reality seems false."

The Uchiha, feeling heady with betrayal that he had to share his idol not only with millions of stupid, stupid girls but with _that_ Itachi as well, furiously silenced Naruto's crooning by jerking open his cell. Briefly, Sasuke remembered he'd only gotten a phone because of _Kitsune – _a Naruto phone blog that updated every two days (as well as an excuse to download Dead Last ring tones). The thought made him angrier still. _That pussy_. Uzumaki Naruto was such a _slut, _appearing on every goddamn wall to be seen by even the lowest of the low when it was so obvious that it was Uchiha fucking Sasuke who liked him the best…

Interrupting his mental cursing, a feminine voice rang out from the other end: "Sa – su – ke – chan~~~!!11!"

Recognizing Sakura's high-pitched distortion of his name, the raven-haired boy was about to hang up instantly when the pink-haired girl cried, "No, no. Don't hang up! Hinata's going too!"

"…going where?" Sasuke spat out after an annoyed moment of silence, his eyes still glued to the beautiful Neko Naruto poster in front of him and his insides churning with anger at this blatant treachery.

"Sasuke-chan? Are you listening to me?" Sakura shrilled. "I said I was going to see Nat-chan!"

And everything in Sasuke's vision turned fiery red.

"XKJIWNFJKDS^$%$%#$#!!!!11!!!!!!!!! WHAT?!" The Uchiha exploded, even forgetting to fake a feminine tremor. That WHORE…!! Naruto left Sasuke no choice but to resort to kidnapping and bondage and, and RAPE PLAY! And BEADS! Lots and lots of fist sized beads as punishment for making him – an Uchiha, for pete's sakes – play the sad pathetic fool…

"You scared the crap out of me, Sasuke-chan!" Sakura complained. "What was that, a passing lion?"

Ignoring her protests, Sasuke demanded, "Why are you going to his apartment?"

"His apartment? Is this your way of gloating, Sasuke-chan? Just because you've been invited once, only once, mind you, when Naruto was too drunk to know better?" The pink-haired girl pouted from the other end. "Fine. Be a total jerk like Ino-pig. I don't care! Hmph!"

For a girl who didn't care, she sure was hyperventilating. In the background, Sasuke heard Hinata's muffled voice hopelessly try to calm her down. With a roll of his black eyes, he noted how Haruno Sakura always tried his patience and growled, interrupting her moping, "So what exactly is going on?"

She was only too happy to spill the beans: "Don't freak out, ne, when I tell you? Are you sitting down? Okay, okay, we were invited to their studio! Where Dead Last practices and stuff?! Isn't that amaaaaaaaazing?!!"

Short squeal. Mounting breath. Another squeal, a longer one. Sasuke braced himself, knowing he'd soon be blasted with unhealthy levels of estrogen. And Sakura did not disappoint.

"What happened was, so, like, Kiba-kun called Hinata-chan after school today and – get this – asked her to, quote on quote, hang out with him. Can you believe that? He must be serious, y'know? I mean, like, are guys so diligent about calling back unless they are _downright smitten_? No, right? That's what I thought! Also, like, what exactly does, quote on quote, hanging out mean? That could have thousands on thousands of hidden implications! But, anyway, Hinata obviously likes Nat-chan so she was, like, totally _awkward_ about it since she didn't want to give him the wrong vibe or anything, unlike _some _people we know, so she ended up texting me and I said – "

It was a good thing Sasuke was somewhere he could ogle a half-naked Naruto else he would have already flopped over dead from sheer boredom. Who the fuck cared which girl some random bassist, albeit a decent one, wanted in the sack?

"Sakura," The Uchiha ordered curtly, in a tone that silenced even her rambling instantly. "Give me the sparknotes version."

"We are going to see _him_." The pink-haired girl sang out smugly. "Without Ino either - because we, uh, HATE her? Hinata's chauffeur's going to drive us. Can you be ready in a few minutes for us to pick you up?"

"Sooner." Sasuke replied, shutting his phone with a snap.

In the stark silence following the noisy phone call, the raven-haired boy stood in Itachi's room a minute more and gazed up at the gorgeous poster. For an insane moment, Sasuke entertained the thought of taking it with him; but he knew deep down that he could never fully accept something that once belonged to his father – not even Neko Naruto. So after staring hungrily at those juicy thighs and plump lips, Sasuke swore for the hundredth time since he'd first laid eyes on Naruto that he would possess his idol with more than greedy eyes and tried to make himself forgive his wayward dobe for letting himself be a feast to Itachi's dirty, dirty gaze.

* * *

The studio was in a surprisingly ugly neighborhood downtown. The building itself looked like a large cement box and the windows were so small they seemed more like peepholes. The chauffeur was extremely reluctant about leaving the Hyuuga princess there, but Hinata was insistent. Plus, the brunette said firmly, tucking her cropped hair behind her ear, she was with Uchiha Sasuke; if an army of yakuza ganged up on them with baseball bats and spiked clubs, she would feel sorry for the poor yakuza. They wouldn't even have time to utter their last words.

As they were instructed, the three went around to the back of the building and rang the buzzer. A rough voice asked for their names and, when they answered, only grunted gruffly in reply. Just when they had waited around long enough for Sasuke to entertain the suspicion that Sakura and Hinata had merely dragged him along on their mutual acid trip, Kiba jerked open the squeaky metal door.

The bassist looked different in faded blue jeans and a white and gray striped shirt. The red tattoos that seemed to complement his wild persona so well on stage seemed out of place in his down-to-earth outfit. After an appreciative once over of Hinata, who looked very pretty in her simple plaid skirt, he ruffled up his already messy mane of hair and winced, "Maybe today wasn't the best idea. I had no idea _she_ was gonna show."

"Who?" Sakura's eyebrows shot up on her high forehead. Green eyes twinkling in curiosity, she pressed, "Who are we talking about?"

"Yeah, uh, it's like…" Kiba scratched the end of his nose, looking uncomfortable. "Well, the thing is Naruto kinda…"

Catching the raven-haired girl's sharp glare trained on him all of sudden at the mention of Naruto's name, Kiba's expression changed. Slowly and seriously, the brunet said, "Oi, um, Uchiha? I've been meaning to ask, what's your relationship with our resident idiot anyway?"

"_Naruto?_" Sasuke stressed the name, disapproving of anyone else making fun of his dobe. "I'm his sempai."

"Right, right. I know that much but…" Kiba twitched his nose, briefly in thought, and soon threw up his hands. "Fuck thinking. Naruto will probably want you around, anyway, with how things are going. I can practically _smell_ that something's gonna cave. Follow me."

"Is… something wrong?" Hinata spoke up timidly, her smooth brow creasing slightly in worry. "What is… happening?"

Kiba ushered them inside. "It'll be pretty self-explanatory. Get ready for some early evening drama, girlies."

After tightly locking the door, the bassist led them downstairs. Ironically, the basement floor was incredibly posh and spacious – and freezing, the AC was on way too high. At the end of the long hallway were Chouji minus the bindings and Shikamaru wearing only one piercing. The drummer raised a hand in greeting towards the approaching girls, but Shikamaru, who had his arms crossed over his chest, just sighed.

From behind the closed door, there was the sound of tumbling furniture and…

A female voice roared: "I am your goddamn PR manager and if I say you aren't dating anyone – YOU AREN'T DATING ANYONE!"

Hinata and Sakura stared at each other wide-eyed. Shikamaru sighed again as his teammates winced.

"Gawd, Tem, I am not a little kid anymore!"

Naruto's voice. Sasuke instantly perked up, listening. The vocalist sounded angry – no, hurt. Uzumaki Naruto sounded very hurt.

"Oh really? You could have fooled me with this tantrum you are throwing!" The female voice was hissing.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto snapped back.

"You think I don't know what kind of game you are playing?"

"Well, since you are so smart, why don't you tell me?"

"THIS IS ABOUT THE COMMERCIAL, ISN'T IT? YOU ARE GETTING BACK AT ME FOR THAT WITH THIS CRACK WHORE BITCH STUNT!"

Naruto barked out a laugh. "You can't be more off. I am dating Ino sempai because I love her – "

"Do I look like a fucking toilet to you, Uzumaki Naruto? Keep your crap for the tabloids. I know you too well!"

"Are you kidding?! You couldn't even guess why I hated doing a lip gloss commercial and you think you know me too well??"

"I don't know what your problem is – "

"Lip gloss, Tem, _effing lip gloss!!_"

"You are an IDOL! These things are part of your job!"

At that, there was a huge crash and Naruto was practically screaming: "I AM NOT AN IDOL! I AM A MUSICIAN!"

"YOU ARE A NOBODY IF YOU DON'T SELL!" was the instant, heated reply. "YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BETTER THAN ANYONE!"

Silence.

Finally, Naruto muttered in a snide voice that wasn't his: "Why didn't you get Shikamaru to do it, then?"

"Excuse me?!"

"I asked why you didn't get Shikamaru to do it! They asked for either one of us, didn't they?!" Naruto's beautiful voice was filled with ugly contempt. "Don't look so surprised, Tem. You aren't the only one who's chummy with Kankuro."

"Oh my god, that dumbass…!!"

"So why me, Tem? Why didn't you even bring it up with Shikamaru?" Naruto interrupted, his voice rising – cracking. "Just how far out of your way do you have to go to tell me I'm not as important! To this band and especially to you!!"

The door slammed open, then, and the blond was storming out of the room. He nonplussed when he saw the girls, his electric blue eyes darting from an appalled Sakura to a trembling Hinata. At last, his gaze found a stony-faced Sasuke and stark fear flickered across Naruto's face.

"Don't be ridiculous, Naruto! That makes no sense whatso– "

The young woman who marched out after the vocalist froze too and gawked at the visitors. The Uchiha recognized her from the pictures in Naruto's apartment. The lanky, awkward-looking tomboy had grown up into a tall, busty model. But more than her beauty, her presence was what was commanding. This woman made you look, listen, obey. She was a queen. And she knew it well.

"What is this? AN ORGY?" Temari glowered, her narrowed eyes nearly shooting sparks. "Oh, come on, guys! Why can't you just buy sketchy magazines and jack off like good boys? I'll hook you up with some really hardcore ones myself; Kankuro has a stash of them in his underwear drawer..."

"Sasuke… sempai." Naruto stared at the Uchiha as if seeing a ghost and speaking haltingly. "Why are you here…?"

"That's what I just said." Temari started, but even before she had finished her sentence, the blond had snatched up Sasuke's wrist and was yanking the raven-haired girl after him – racing down the hall for the exit.

"What the fuck?!" The manager started forward and stopped, realizing that she was on spiked heels and that the two had already disappeared up the stairs. Frustrated, Temari whirled around to face the remaining band members and the two sucker-punched girls. "Who the hell is that? And when did Naruto start track?! Make him quit before he sprains his ankle or something! The cast will look absolutely horrid up on stage, if he's not too maimed to stumble up there."

Chouji recovered first, trying too hard to be helpful, "Uh, I'm guessing Naruto's ditching the rest of practice. And her name's Uchiha Sasuke. And he didn't. Join track, I mean. Naruto was always pretty fast, I'd say."

The blonde girl turned towards him, a black cloud gathering over her head and making even the stocky boy take a step back. "Chooouuuji, did you bring the girls here? Hmmmm??"

"Actually, I-I did." Kiba instantly spoke up, squirming. "But, Temari, I get this gut feeling that being with Sasuke will be good for Naruto. Like, he really seems to trust her. Plus, I invited Hinata-chan and her friends before I knew you were coming – and how can you leave three cute girls standing around outside in such a sketchy neighborhood?"

"HOW CAN YOU BE SO IRRESPONSIBLE??!!" Temari boomed and the cloud burst out a bolt of lightening. "IF YOU WANT TO CREATE A SCANDAL SO BAD, INUZUKA, I'LL MAKE ONE FOR YOU. HEADLINES: PR MANAGER RIPS OFF HEAD OF BASSISTS WITH BARE HANDS AND STICKS IT IN BLENDER…!!!"

Shikamaru grabbed his fiancé's shoulder, rescuing a soul-escaping Kiba, and said plainly. "Temari, that's enough! One, there's not going to be a scandal. And two, let Naruto have the day off. You were a bit harsh on him."

Temari stopped short, creaking her head around to eye the guitarist. "I WHAT?"

Ignoring his teammates wildly shaking their heads in his direction, the lazy boy shrugged his shoulders. He knew no fear. "Temari, you could have dealt with this a heckuva lot better. And Naruto's right about one thing: you do treat him like a kid. No guy likes that. Think about it."

Chouji and Sakura braced themselves and Kiba valiantly threw himself in front of Hinata. But… Temari was tamely blinking. "Ah, really…? I, hmmm…"

"You went overboard." Shikamaru drawled calmly.

Temari cringed. "Yeah, maybe I was a bit much."

Unmindful of four jaws dropping behind him, the guitarist broke out into a reassuring grin. "You need to relax, Tem. Work less, play more. All right?"

The blonde woman blushed faintly, returning the smile, "Well, if you say so. I.. I guess you're right. I'll call Naruto later and apologize. Happy?"

"Yeah."

As the band leader asked Temari about her plans for dinner, a stiff-with-fear Kiba nudged a now-thawing Chouji and whispered, "Dude, h-how did Shikamaru just do that?"

Chouji replied in the same awed voice, "I think that may be Gandhi disguised as Shikamaru, actually."

Off to the side, the two girls had very different concerns.

"I hope… Naruto-sama is okay…" Hinata said anxiously, clutching Sakura's arm. "He… almost looked like… he was going to cry."

The pink-haired girl gave her friend a reassuring squeeze back. "Ne, Hinata-chan, I wonder what those two are talking about right now?"

* * *

"Let go of me, usuratonkachi!" Sasuke spat, jerking his hand out of Naruto's grip.

They had run out of the studio and a ways down a random street when the Uchiha broke free, his eyes glowing a dark angry red. This was it. He couldn't take this shit anymore. Who was this fucktard that he had thought he loved? Scampering after Ino, prostrated on Itachi's wall, and evidently still hung up over some bitchy childhood crush that he himself had told Sasuke he was over? What the hell was that??!

"I'M SORRY!"

Sasuke stopped in his tracks, staring as Naruto bowed his head before him. Unlike his teammates, the vocalist seemed to be on display even in casual wear. And, suddenly, even the blond's attention grabbing looks were pissing him off.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke sempai. Really sorry."

"What are you saying sorry about, dobe. Do you even know?"

"Because…" The blond tilted his head up and steadily held Sasuke's furious gaze. "I was totally uncool in front of you today, ne?"

The Uchiha sneered at that. "Ah, I see. Is this your little fan service routine?"

"Of course not!" Naruto tilted his chin up defiantly. "I am saying you are special – that what you think is important to me! What else would I mean?"

"Shut up, dobe! What do you understand about me, ha?!" Sasuke roared, turning his back on the blond that betrayed him to stalk away.

"What don't I understand?!" Naruto yelled after him and when the raven-haired boy didn't pause, hollered angrily, "Wait! _SASUKE!!_"

The Uchiha felt a hot flash of annoyance. Sasuke, huh? Not Sasuke sempai? That little son of a bitch, he'd kill him! But before he could make up his mind whether or not homicide was worth the trouble, he was tumbling to the ground from the force of the vocalist's tackle.

"I said don't leave!" Naruto ordered, straddling Sasuke's pelvis and glaring down at him with those piercing eyes. "I don't want you to leave!!"

"Why the hell should I listen to you?" Sasuke hissed back, gripping the other boy's collar and jerking him forward. "Get your dumbass girlfriend to put up with your emotional baggage, dobe. She's your type, remember? Let's see: Blonde, bitchy, stacked – and, oh, prefers Shikamaru over you."

Naruto flinched at that and Sasuke, being an Uchiha, knew to strike where it hurt.

"Am I right, usuratonkachi? Isn't that why you chose Ino instead of… instead of someone else?" The Uchiha snarled – wanting Naruto to hurt, wanting to mar with his own hands what he had blindly thought the most important. "Because she's Shikamaru's fan? Like that one manager – "

"That's right." The blond cut the other boy off, his voice low – dead. "You see right through me, don't you? You can even see this hideous monster living inside me, huh, Sasuke? It's true. I like Ino sempai because I wanted to have something of his. I wanted to steal a fan of Shikamaru's. But…"

Naruto scooted off the other boy, steadily staring at him from beneath veils of long blond lashes with eerily glowing blue eyes.

"But I won't let anyone steal _my_ fan." The blond gritted out. "That's why you can't leave. Because you're mine."

Sasuke dusted himself off and got up slowly, self-consciously smoothing down his fake ponytail and struggling to keep the hysteric grin from surfacing on his stoic features. Get a grip, Uchiha. So what if he's cute when he's being possessive? He's a little traitor. So what if he's kinda _really_ hot even when he's being competitive? He's… Naruto is… So. Goddamn. CUTE. Fuck...

"Greedy much, usuratonkachi?" The dark-haired boy smirked, cocking an eyebrow.

"I'm not greedy. Just desperate." The _Dead Last_ vocalist answered instantly, stubbornly. "Shikamaru can afford to lose a fan or two – but you are the only one I've got."

The Uchiha blinked. "…do you not know how to count, Naruto?"

Naruto didn't get a chance to answer before he was interrupted by a high pitched squeal. A passing car squeaked to a stop and a group of college girls were rushing out at him, unmindful of the bursts of honks that erupted at their illegal parking. On reflex, Sasuke jerked the blond after him into an oncoming taxi. Finding it already occupied by two old ladies in their eighties, Sasuke promptly hip checked them out of the vehicle as Naruto shook the cab driver's shoulders and barked, "Drive, DRIVE!"

As the blond yelled out the address of his apartment, Sasuke fell tiredly back into the seat. Reflected in the glass, he could see Naruto settle down besides him. The blond head was also turned away, staring outside. The cab burst onward in utter silence, both its passengers lost in difficult thoughts.

_Brrrrr… brrrrr… brrrr…_

Sasuke watched Naruto shift behind him, pulling his vibrating cell out of the pocket of his ashen jeans. Checking the number, the blond paused for a minute and finally flipped the phone open.

"Hello… Ino sempai."

The raven-haired boy heard his classmate's animated voice on the other end, "Naruto! It's been crazy down here at my house; my dad had to hose the reporters to get them to go away. Anyway, that's why I'm calling you back so late. Do you still want to do that dinner thing?"

Naruto glanced back at Sasuke, who didn't even budge and stared more intensely out the window. "Not tonight. I have to take care of something really important. Maybe another time?"

"Oh, okay, sure." Ino paused, hesitant. "Is something wrong? You don't sound like… your usual obnoxious self. No offense."

"It's probably just the connection." The blond replied, coughing out a laugh. "Listen, I'm sorry about causing you so much trouble, sempai."

"Don't pretend to be so sensitive all of a sudden, baaaka. It's fine. This is kinda exciting, y'know?" Ino chirped back. "Plus, my mom's happy that our flower business is getting a lot of attention on the side."

"That's great. I'll talk to you later then."

Naruto flipped his phone shut and all was quiet in the car again, till…

"Sasuke sempai!" / "Usuratonkachi!"

The boys blinked at each other, having suddenly whipped around in their seats to confront one another at the same time. Instantly, they averted their eyes – Sasuke looking up at the ceiling and Naruto looking at his hands as if he'd never seen fingers before. The poor taxi driver wept, hating that he had to interrupt _this _atmosphere.

"Um, excuse me but, er, we are here…?"

"Oh." / "Ah."

With simultaneous sounds of realization, the brunet followed the blond out of the car – slamming the door after him and effectively cutting off the taxi driver's "Uh, the bill will be…"

Once the two had made their way past the screaming bodyguards with futuristic weapons ("A FEMALE INTRUDER! CODE ORANGISH RED! CODE ORANGISH RED!") and were in the privacy of Naruto's apartment, Sasuke spoke up first.

"Why did you cancel?"

"Huh?"

Sasuke flicked his long hair over his shoulder and plopped down onto the leather couch he and Naruto had shared the last time they were here. "Why did you cancel your date with Yamanaka, dobe?"

Naruto came to join Sasuke on the couch. "I thought we went over this. My fans are my number one priority and, frankly, you are the only _real_ fan I've got, Sasuke sempai. I'm hanging around to cheer you up - what you call 'fan service', remember?"

The Uchiha's black eyes widened – what the fuck…!! So Naruto did understand, after all! He understood well!

"How, how did you figure that, Naruto? That I was your only real fan?" Sasuke demanded, trying not to sound too excited.

"You are not the only one with good eyes. I can see through you too." The blond winked, teasing. But when the Uchiha just frowned, Naruto cocked his head to one side in unsullied surprise – his blond bangs swishing in front of his eyes. "Ne, you really don't remember… do you?"

"Remember what, usuratonkachi?"

And Naruto replied, incredibly nonchalantly, words that turned the Uchiha's world upside down: "We met before. Before you started dressing in drag, Sasuke sempai."

* * *

A/N: Please, please review and let me know you are still interested. Only your lovely cries can keep my attention what with SO - MUCH - OTHER - WORK - PILING - UP - AND - UP - AND - ARG - NOOOoooOO - NArutoiloveyo...


	9. Innocent Kiss

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is drawn and written by a fantastically splendid, wonderfully cute, and very talented manga artist: the Masashi Kishimoto. (And Kishimoto-san, if you are, by the slimmest chance, reading this and somehow understanding the English, please elope with me; I will bring the bags of onigiri.)

**Chapter Rating: **R (for explicit language, situation, and a certain Uchiha's fantasizing)

**Author's Note:** Just some logistics before we get on with it. Um, folks, I do know that in the manga Itachi is Sasuke's brother. It's kind of a big part of the canon… Despite very much noticing this, I made Itachi Sasuke's father in this fic because Naruto isn't normally a rock star and Sasuke also isn't a high school drag queen and this is one of those things fanfiction authors do called WRITING AU WHERE I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT MUHAHAHAHAW! SUCK ON THAT! HUZZAH! (is shot with tranquilizer and restrained) It's just that I always feel awkward when I read some really polite review: "Um, ro-rosesareblue-san, Itachi is, well, he is Sasuke's brother in the real thing so, uh, maybe this is a typo?" I know, dear. Thanks.

Other than that, thank you sooooo much for reviewing! This wasn't on my list of priorities at all (I was thinking of doing a Halloween special or something), then I realized I had many reviews for the last chapter and decided I MUST update since I love you people the best! I really do! (gives bunch of cookies) Group hug! Group hug! (smooshes cookies in embrace)

Oh! And some blatant advertising: If you read and comment on One-Shot-Naruko, I will heart you and reply to your reviews adoringly (any greetings or questions, however unrelated, are welcome). Now, ooooon with the story.

**My E-mail:** rosesareblue at ymail dot com (Write me with any comments or suggestions. Remember, there's nothing like feedback that improves an author's moral/writing and keeps the chapters coming.)

**/ D E A D / L A S T /**

**By Rosesareblue**

_Chapter Nine: Innocent Kiss_

"We met before. Before you started dressing in drag, Sasuke sempai."

The Uchiha felt like someone had clubbed his head off his shoulders with a baseball bat. Dislocation. Confusion. Shock. More than anything, total shock.

At last, the raven-haired boy managed a quiet, "…when?"

Naruto scrunched up his nose, oblivious to the Uchiha's panic raging only skin-deep. After a bit, the vocalist guessed, "It was over two years ago, I think? After I left school for a year to pursue music… heh, I don't know if I mentioned this before but I'm actually the same age as you are, Sasuke sempai!"

He chirped the last bit – as if it were even remotely awe-inspiring compared to the revelation that he knew Sasuke's deepest, darkest secret.

"Anyway," the blond went on, "that day, Temari-chan had just met Shikamaru and the others and was in ga-ga mode again. It seemed like the countless other times she'd gotten worked up about a band and yet… somehow I knew it wasn't."

Naruto paused to force out a raspy laugh, before plowing on, "I thought I'd go insane – snap, if I had to see the end I'd long dreaded actually play out. So I just split. Stole a wad of cash from Kankuro's pocket – he never notices the difference, anyway – and took the shinkansen to the furthest stop I could afford. And, uh…"

The blond looked up to grin ruefully at Sasuke. "You were there."

A firework of memories rudely went off in the Uchiha's head: a bright mop of hair rushing at him, a painful collision of shoulders, the hard concrete scrapping against delicate skin as they rolled down half a flight of stairs, the weight of a stranger's thin gasping body sprawled on his own heaving chest…

"First time we spoke, we got in a huge argument for some reason or other." Naruto chuckled, caught up in the remembrance and swinging his legs like a kid on a float. "This was outside the station where it was dark, so I couldn't really see your face quite then. You were this shadow; you could have been anyone – or everyone. Maybe that's why I felt it was safe being so honest. That or I'd just cracked, probably the latter..."

Sasuke summoned up images of balled up pair of fists pounding his chest, the heaving of thinly clad shoulders, the clutching hands that gripped his collar, the shrill yell of a voice thick with hysteria, desire, and loneliness… God, so much loneliness…

"Anyway," The vocalist continued, "I think I even started ranting about my dead parents and how fucked up my childhood was. And that's when you said, 'What the hell? Is that all? You were always alone – we all are. You only just realized it now because you are either retarded or blessed.' I swear, Sasuke sempai, at that moment I was so angry at you I had trouble breathing. I was seriously considering dragging you with me in front of an oncoming train when you added: 'At least you figured it out before it's too late, dead last–'"

"'–so now you can actually start doing something about it.''" The Uchiha finished for him and the blond broke out into a wide, happy grin.

"I dunno why," The smaller boy confessed, "but I totally fell for that line. Fell hard, too. I named the band after it, didn't I? Anyway, I was so pissed off and so fucking inspired at the same time that I joined Shikamaru and them peeps the very next day. And the rest is history or however else that saying goes."

Having finished talking, Naruto sank into the leathery folds of the sofa and let out a loud dejected sigh, his electric blue eyes mischievous.

"Mou! I can't believe you really forgot our meeting, Sasuke sempai! And all this time, I thought you just weren't saying anything to be hardcore and intense and shit."

"You annoyed me into lending you money for your fare back, dobe…" Sasuke said stiffly, feeling that his throat was parched dry as he spoke almost mechanically of a brief moment of past contact that had changed the course of his life – their lives – irreversibly. Is this what people called destiny? Or just some really fucked up shit that'd betray him a little more down the road?

"Hey, hey, so you do remember it well!" The vocalist crowed, licking his lips cutely. "Then stop being so cool and mysterious already, huh?"

"Of course I remember the meeting," The raven-haired boy shook his still reeling head, glad even in the midst of all that confusion that his dumbstruck came across to others, especially to the dobe, as cool and mysterious. "But I didn't see you. I never saw you then. It was pitch black, usuratonkachi. How did you even know it was me?"

"Oh, uh, I caught a glimpse of your face when you walked up the stairs into the lit station." Naruto shrugged lazily, ruffling up his own hair and letting his hand fall to the cushion with a plop. "To be honest, I didn't recognize you quite when we first met, sempai, but I'd say it was soon after that. Heh, you impressed?"

The Uchiha muttered, for lack of anything else to say, "You… you owe me fifty-eight thousand and three hundred yen, dobe."

All the while, Sasuke's mind was racing: What did this mean, Naruto's knowing? If the blond had known all along and had managed to hold his tongue, even to Sasuke himself, Itachi's finding out wouldn't be a problem. So, what did it mean in the context of their relationship thus far? Did that change the nuance to yaoi goodness or just brotherly comradeship? But it wasn't a bad sign – Naruto's saying that he'd been "so pissed off and so fucking _inspired_ at the same time," right? Naruto had become _that_ Uzumaki Naruto because of him – which made the dobe that much more his, right? Which also meant that Sasuke most definitely deserved to be the se– no, no, let's not get ahead of ourselves, Uchiha. One button at a time. One pants button at a time…

"It's fifty-eight thousand two hundred and fifty-seven yen, you jerk. I kept the receipt too, because I knew you were this kind of person…" The blond grumbled, interrupting the Uchiha's first full-fledged, over-deep analysis. (If said Uchiha had known he'd taken one solid step towards the estrogen side, he… well, he would probably have been too distracted at the present moment to care. B-but, later he would have been embarrassed? Maybe?)

Sasuke smirked, snaking his fingers around Naruto's hand that lay between them – tellingly closer to the Uchiha's side.

"I round up, Naruto. You owe me." The raven-haired boy whispered, his voice low and ringing with a barely suppressed maniac glee.

Because, inwardly, our resident tensai was on the six billionth button by now – which went something like this in true fangirl fashion: Naruto-his-destined-to-be-uke must have blazed the cherished memory in his mind and had subsequently become a rock star to find again the mysterious first love that had so thoroughly inspired him – so that all the little dobe ever thought about was having Sasuke's dick all hot and tight up his ass, day and night. Not able to hold it in much longer, the blond had already indirectly confessed his undying love and subservient lust to said object of his fantasies bare moments ago (though it seems much longer than that because it was in the previous chapter and rosesareblue sucks about updating) and claimed that Sasuke was indeed his "number one priority" and "only real fan." Hence, it would be just plain rude of the Uchiha to pass up a prepared meal and not eat up the dobe's virginity on this couch – at this very moment – substituting spit for lube and ramming it hard no matter what Naruto was whining at the top of his far gone voice…

"Oi, usuratonkachi…" The raven-haired boy's eyelids were already at half-mast as he stared at his own pale fingers gripping the blond's tanned hand. "Since you are on such a roll explaining, why don't you tell me how you figured out I was your only _real _fan…? Hnn?"

At that, the prettiest blush spread across Naruto's cheeks. Squirming just a little, the vocalist turned his hand over so that their palms touched and their fingers intertwined. Holding on tightly, the smaller boy leaned in so that Sasuke could smell the scent of soap on Naruto's eyelids, his marked cheeks, those dewy lips…

"I know because," The blond's voice was throaty and full, weighing each word. And Sasuke couldn't help but notice the flutter of yellow lashes, the dart of crimson tongue, the gentle slope his Adam's apple moving up and down as Naruto all but crooned, "I know because we are like brothers."

Sasuke was still closing the gap between their heads, when he stopped short. "Wait, wait – what?"

Naruto pulled their clasped hands up, fisting Sasuke's other free hand as well and pumping it up and down empathically. "Because we are like brothers and I know you don't think of me sexually at all!"

Not noticing that the Uchiha was slowly turning into sand, the blond kept uttering jarringly false statements: "Sasuke sempai doesn't want my body. You don't come to my concerts because you think I'm hot. You don't ever search for photoshopped pictures of me in the nude on the internet. You just like my singing, ne?"

The raven-haired boy yanked his hand out of the vocalist's grip, his eyes becoming near slits in sheer, flabbergasted annoyance: "How are you so sure I don't?"

"Don't what?" Naruto blinked.

"How are you so sure that I don't want you for unending, flaming sex, usuratonkachi?"

Silence.

Finally, Naruto burst out laughing, "You are so silly, Sasuke sempai. We can't have sex because we are both guys! Did you learn nothing in health class – honestly, I heard that you were good at school but I guess that was a load of bull-shit, huh?"

Oblivious to the sounds of the Uchiha's detailed fantasy cracking into tiny, tiny pieces, the vocalist sprang to his feet.

"So, what should we do for the rest of the night – since I've canceled everything else to hang out with yooou. Doncha feel special, huh? I mean, fuck practicing if Temari's going to get so high and mighty. She seriously doesn't understand – "

A desperate hand shot out and grabbed the blond's wrist before he pranced away. Naruto turned slowly, curiously, to stare down at the raven-haired boy. The long black strands of his girl's wig were falling all around him like rain, tumbling down against his white neck, the sharp angle of his shoulder, his clothed back… Despite his female appearance, Sasuke was staring at Naruto with a man's midnight eyes – black, bright in their blackness, asserting, demanding, yet lonely, lonely, lonely…

"Sa-sasuke sempai…?" The blond found himself being drawn in and asking those gorgeous eyes.

"If that's all we are, why did you kiss me on the forehead at the concert back then? Why did you give me the key to your apartment?" The Uchiha spoke as much with his piercing gaze as his husky voice. "Why did you pick me out of everyone else in the crowd with your eyes? Naa, dobe?"

"I – I…" For the second time that day, Sasuke saw the vocalist falter – those electric eyes fill with alarm, doubt, something akin to fear… Then, it was gone in a flash and Naruto was smiling shyly, almost apologetically, "B-but, that's what brothers do, isn't it?"

"Haa?"

The blond shrugged a shoulder. "Ne, don't you have any brothers, sempai?"

Sasuke paused for a second before replying, "Somehow I sense some huge dramatic irony as I say this but – no, Naruto. I don't. But what the fuck does that have to do with anything? What kind of brothers do that anyway?"

"What do you mean?" Naruto was genuinely confused this time, scratching his head. "I don't have blood brothers, but I might as well be with Kankuro and Gaara – and we kiss all the time. Well, not so much with Kankuro when he isn't drunk… but definitely loads of times with Gaara. Oh, Gaara's this kid our age, sempai. He's usually around too, but he's in Luxemburg this year doing some photo shoot with a big shot photographer. Anyway, I learned all my tongue action from him and girls just dig – "

"Usuratonkachi." The Uchiha all but gritted out, a throbbing vein visible now on the ivory temple. "You make out with your brothers – With Tongue – and you ask me how boys can have sex with each other? Dobe, your family's completely gay!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" The blond snapped, glaring. "Just because my family is a tad more touchy-feely than your family, doesn't give you the right to call us unwarranted names, sempai! And why are you so angry at me, anyway? All I wanted was for us to hang out tonight and you are getting your boxers in a knot over nothing."

"Hang out? Hang out?" Sasuke hissed, his eyes reddening in unadulterated anger. "Like brothers, huh, Naruto?"

"Yeah. Like brothers." Naruto hissed right back, his hands on his hips.

And in the next second, the blond was being dragged over the coffee table and slammed back on the sofa. His squeak of pain was effectively cut off by Sasuke's teeth-clattering kiss. The raven-haired boy's tongue was forcing its way into the blond's mouth, filling the hot cavern so fully that Naruto choked a little – trying to shove the bigger boy off. The Uchiha pinned the pushing hand down on the sofa and shifted his entire weight down on the vocalist's lean body.

And, in spite of his anger, in spite of knowing that other lips had contaminated his dobe's probably countless times before, Sasuke couldn't help silently moaning at the feel of their first kiss. The softness of Naruto's tender lips, the heady taste of his saliva, his heaving chest against Sasuke's own, the thrill that shot through him whenever the blond gasped into his own mouth like a dream…

But it was a dream. Kissing his idol was a dream that he could now feel with every part of his body that touched the warm, writhing one beneath him.

When the Uchiha finally relented Naruto's lips to nibble on his chiseled jaw, lick the curve of his Adam's apple, and kiss again and again the now sweaty neck, the blond yelled in between jagged breaths, "N-ne, Sasuke sempai! I think you are, ow! You are seriously abusing your brotherly privileges right now! This isn't exactly what I meant when I said we should – "

" – but dobe," Sasuke snickered, pushing down the neckline of Naruto's shirt to leave a series of hickies along that wonderfully slick collarbone. "This is how we do it Uchiha style. Are you making fun of my family now?"

"You are such a liar!" The blond panicked as the tongue started massaging lower and lower. "You just said you didn't have any!"

"No wonder I have so much pent up energy." Sasuke smirked, his hand traveling up and under the fabric and brushing against that smooth abdomen.

Fine. If Naruto was going to cockblock him with his warped sexual education, the Uchiha had other ideas. Even if it was quite a detour from his master mission plan, Sasuke would succeed using his newfound tools (though he seriously disliked the fact that they'd partly been made available by this Gaara guy – gah, the world was so chockfull of hidden enemies): "brotherly privileges" mixed with "living in Naruto's apartment from now on." If the dobe's mind was too obtuse to realize, the raven-haired boy would get through to him bodily – coaxing physical reactions so strong that Naruto had to see that he was better off milking Sasuke's dick…

"Gaaah! Sasuke sempai, you are twisting my nipple. Stop – stop dattebayo!"

* * *

Naruto sat an arm's length from Sasuke in the taxi, glaring at him seethingly. The blue light of the vocalist's eyes were blurred by the cheap plastic frames of the dark glasses he wore as a disguise, along with a hideous beanie, an ill-fitting pair of pants, and a putrid orange turtleneck… though the latter was more to cover the string of hickies in the shape of the Uchiha crest that one raven-haired boy had left. Sasuke had gone as far as to straddle Naruto and dry hump him, celebrating the fact that one, the dobe had been groaning full out, his voice loud and charged, and that two, the raven-haired boy no longer had to hide the presence of his penis from said dobe.

At last, though, the vocalist had managed to shove the other boy off – red-facedly demanding they engage in other forms of hanging out. That was why the two of them were back in a taxi (the same one, actually, because the driver had been left pitifully crying in the parking lot only to become further distressed when the crazy blond and scary brunet had gotten back onto the backseat again and demanded he chauffer them). The two were racing over to the Uchiha dojo because Sasuke wanted to move in with Naruto that very day.

"Look, Sasuke sempai." The blond finally snapped, turning towards him with a full-fledged pout contorting the sensual features. "Is, is all that stuff _really_ normal in your family? That is, Gaara came on pretty strong sometimes too, but even he never, um, he never…"

With pink cheeks, Naruto said quietly, "Sucked on my nipples…"

The driver choked. Instantly, two crimson eyes were boring into the back of his head. Wisely, said driver decided to hum off-key and turn off his mind, just focusing on steering.

"Hnn," The Uchiha flipped the hair of his wig over his shoulder (it had been such a bitch trying to get the tangles out after wrestling with a certain dobe) and smoothly lied without blinking an eye, "My family has Italian roots. I'm one eighth Sicilian on my father's side and well…"

"Yeah, yeah. I've seen _Godfather_ too, okay." Naruto huffed. "But, but still, this is Japan, so… so you should try to tone it down a bit here. Okay? Just normal stuff from now on. Only things like sleeping and bathing together, ne?"

Sasuke didn't know whether he should be excited (being in the same tub as a naked Naruto, ohboyohboyohboy…) or incensed (that sonuvabitch Gaara, his entire family was just so in the way). In a voice tight with a mixture of both emotions, the Uchiha replied, "I'll keep that in mind, usuratonkachi."

From then on, the ride was completely silent save a moment in between when the raven-haired boy reached out to take up Naruto's hand, this time in a gentle grasp. The dobe, though making a begrudging snort, responded with a soft squeeze back.

Furtively stealing a peek over his shoulder, the driver saw that the two, though looking out the window in opposite directions, were wearing identical, almost invisible, smiles.

* * *

Sasuke made Naruto stay in the car once they reached the dojo. No way in hell he was going to let the dobe enter the same building possibly containing his freak of a father, who enjoyed such perverted posters – and the first one who says hypocrite gets defenestrated, got that?

In less than five minutes, the Uchiha heir had pushed through the welcoming servants and collected his pre-packed luggage, which consisted of mostly Dead Last merchandise anyway. However, as he was leaving his room now in its pre-Naruto-phase again, he stopped his rushed pace and briefly entertained whether or not he should take the Neko Naruto poster with him. No. The raven-haired boy would soon be living in the blond's very apartment. Let the likes of Itachi yearn while staring pathetically at the tainted poster. Sasuke would have Naruto in flesh – in all the blond's warm glory.

But as Sasuke made his way out the wide, wooden front doors, he saw a sight that made his skin crawl.

There, wrapped in the red glow of the now setting sun, was Naruto. Leaning against the trunk of the taxi, he was fanning himself with his discarded beanie with the ugly sunglasses pushed up into the tangle of glowing golden locks. Of course he was gorgeous, though the bulky clothes tried in vain to hide it, but he also seemed so vulnerable at that moment, standing under the dark shadow of the one Uchiha Itachi. Even his father's simple stance was graceful and provocative somehow, the crimson sunlight glazing the glossy black hair that scattered on pale, pale shoulders visible beneath the sliding hem of the kimono he was wearing.

Sasuke stood as if bolted to the spot, he couldn't move as an unreasonable dread took over him. He watched, mesmerized, as an almost serene expression danced on his father's painfully handsome features as he said something to Naruto in an inaudible voice. In reply, the cute blond flushed with a foreign expression of his own. Wearing the relieved face of a traveler finally coming home, the vocalist fumbled as he patted down his pockets.

When Itachi reached into his robes for something, it was almost enough for Sasuke to lunge forward – but all the older man did was withdraw a ballpoint pen and a sheet of blank paper. Naruto accepted it graciously, using the car trunk as a table to scrawl a note and laughing inanely all through it.

Sasuke couldn't believe it: he was, indeed, witnessing that Itachi – evil, emotionless, epitome of perfection Itachi – ask Naruto, dobe extraordinare, for an autograph.

When Naruto handed back the leaf of paper, their fingertips touched and it was this offensive contact that brought Sasuke crashing back into reality. Reaching forward, the Uchiha heir spoke in an urgent voice not his, "Oi! Usuratonkachi!"

The vocalist jumped at that, whirling about, and it was this almost guilty reaction that tore at Sasuke's heartstrings more than anything else. Completely cured of his previous immobility, the Uchiha was between the two at once.

"Well, father." Sasuke gritted out like a threat, eyeing the older man. "We will be off now."

Itachi raised his eyebrows in mild admonishment, as if he was surprised at the hostility. "I was enjoying meeting one of your very talented friends, _daughter_, whose father I also have the pleasure of knowing." With that, he nodded in a welcoming way to Naruto. "You are a fine son. Your father would be proud."

His last words, of course, had a hidden, dual meaning: A vengeful rage sheered through the raven-haired boy, though Sasuke didn't show it save a flicker of reddening eyes. The blond, on the other hand, let out an awkward cross between an embarrassed giggle and a flattered chuckle and stuck out his hand for a shake.

"It was great meeting you too, Uchiha-san! I didn't know my dad had any friends in this area – ne, ne, you should come to my next gig, if you can manage to fit it into your busy schedule that is…" Naruto bubbled, then, catching Sasuke's loaded glare, hesitated. After a while of fidgeting, sudden understanding fleeted across the golden-brown features. In the next second, the vocalist darted forth to plant a loving kiss on Itachi's cheek.

"Sorry, Italian, right?" Naruto laughed, oblivious to the fact that both Uchihas were accordingly turning into stone at his number one surprising behavior. "I meant, uh, ciao?"

* * *

A/N: IT'S ANOTHER CLIFFIE! Muhahaha~~~! (now totally used to it, lithely evades onslaught of sharp stuff) I'm sorry gang. It's just so easy to do it in this fic, for some reason.

For future updates, please, please review – I know I'm bad about uploading promptly, but the reviews, even just a few words of reaction, really help me get in the mood to write more. If it wasn't for some of the really solid reviews I get, I'd otherwise never move my butt on this site.

Oh, and again, please check out the awesome fanarts if you want to know how Naruto might look like in this story – the pic is hot!


	10. Possessive Love

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is drawn and written by a fantastically splendid, wonderfully cute, and very talented manga artist: the Masashi Kishimoto. (And Kishimoto-san, if you are, by the slimmest chance, reading this and somehow understanding the English, please elope with me; I will bring the bags of onigiri.)

**Chapter Rating: **NC-17 (for very explicit language, situation, and all out smut, for which I thank some close friends who wished to go unnamed for dictating the scene (more like screaming at me: "You can't do the fade out thing here, are you kidding? Let us do the smut!") because, as some of you know, I don't write smut)

**Author's Note:** All right, some of you were asking in reviews so I thought I'd give a little Dead Last History 101 (for those who need it). I thought I was pretty lucid, especially in this fic, but I've realized that sometimes I'm so out there I'm like Rock Lee running a marathon of youth into the distance while everyone else is like "WTF is rosesareblue on. Huh?"

Okay, so, Sparknotes version of this story: Sasuke is cross-dressing as a high school girl (if you haven't caught onto this one yet, even Sparknotes won't help you). He is an emo bastard, who has issues with his father Itachi (again, yes, I made Itachi his father in this fic) and wants to be an actor. He is going to prove his stuff by acting as a girl throughout high school (I was told by fans that this plot device was like this manga called W Juliet – I haven't read it yet, but I heard it was really good). Though Sasuke hates girls, he gets chummy with brains (Sakura), beauty (Ino), and billionaire (Hinata) (obviously, the rest isn't like W Juliet at all because BL is good). His new friends take him to a concert where he falls in love-and-sexual-orientation-conversion-at-first-sight with the super popular band _Dead Last_'s vocalist Naruto.

Now, Naruto also has had a lot of shit happen to him: He is an orphan. His adopted family includes one bossy Temari, one playboy Kankuro, and especially one Gaara, who did a lot of touchy-feely things with Naruto and taught him a warped version of brotherly love. And though Naruto's been in love with Temari, especially since his parents' death, Temari is a band whore turned _Dead Last_'s Public Relations manager and guitarist Shikamaru's fiancé. Temari only sees Naruto as a kid brother.

Depressed, Naruto ran away and had a chance meeting with, oh my gosh, emo Sasuke that consequently inspired him to pursue his current career in music (revealed in chapter nine in more detail). Naruto still has a lot of emotional baggage though, and is currently dating Ino, the only one of Sasuke's gang who is a Shikamaru's fan. Sasuke, obviously, is not happy about this and sometimes molests Naruto (go figure) and, more often, has explicit wet dreams about him (go figure that too).

The latest turn in the story is Itachi's being a _Dead Last_ fan too (runs in the family, apparently) and Naruto, thinking thanks to some weird explanation on Sasuke's part that the Uchiha clan is Italian, kissing Itachi on the cheek.

All right, that's the rap. Hope this little summary helps those of you who were confused and happy readings for chapter ten. I love y'all!

**My E-mail:** rosesareblue at ymail dot com (Write me with any comments or suggestions. Remember, there's nothing like feedback that improves an author's moral/writing and keeps the chapters coming.)

**/ D E A D / L A S T /  
**

**By Rosesareblue**

_Chapter Ten: Possessive Love_

It used to be the case that Uchiha Sasuke had one man he hated enough to seriously consider homicide (and very specifically plot out killing in his diary, which he kept for that very purpose – that and pasting in clippings of Naruto close-ups). Now, he had a list of such people.

Of course, the first and foremost was Uchiha Itachi, who, when Sasuke was feeling unusually kind and generous, he just wanted to torture medieval style. The Uchiha heir owed his father a lifetime of feeling inadequate and hating being alive – now more than ever before, following a certain incident in which Sasuke nearly had to manhandle Naruto back into the taxi, while said blond and said treacherous weasel traded smoky, let's-fuck-with-Sasuke's-mind, mysterious looks.

The raven-haired boy was positive that the great Uchiha clan was cursed with its own illustrious blood. Sasuke had sworn he would be the end of a long line of motherfuckers who married their cousins to continue that suffocating lineage by simply being celibate for the rest of his life – and, what with the limited female choices out there, that wouldn't be too difficult. After all, the Uchiha heir had experienced the horrors of the prolonged agony firsthand. Itachi had married a woman he hadn't ever cared for to have a son he would never ever love.

Number two on the list was Temari. The PR manager's role as first love and current emotional baggage in a certain dobe's life was unacceptable. Period. And Sasuke didn't want his idol to be burdened, as he himself was, by something as trivial and meaningless as family – family that really wasn't. Besides, obviously, Temari's crowd had been the source of some fucked up sexual indoctrinations for said dobe… which the Uchiha heir had taken upon himself to undo because he was just so nice like that. Nice, got that?

And the third target was, of course, girlfriend figure Yamanaka Ino.

As it turned out, Ino turned out to be the best thing that happened to one Uzumaki Naruto's school life. Though not as academically successful as Sasuke or Sakura nor as diligent as Hinata, Ino wasn't too shabby herself as far as grades went – always ranking in the top twenty-five percent of their grade. Take charge by nature, the blond girl had sworn to unearth her new boyfriend's grades from the underworld. And despite the fact that Sakura and Hinata were still not on speaking terms with Ino, it didn't deter the two from (very willingly) butting in on the couple's study sessions and delighting in their idol's chuckled thanks for their tutoring. So, with the help of Ino's bossy lecturing, Sakura's perfect notes, and Hinata's patient explanations, Naruto managed to avoid any red letter grades during his midterm exams.

Not only that, Ino was the best hormonal-teenage-girl protection that Naruto could have asked for (aside from, of course, wtf-estrogen-get-away Sasuke himself). The blond girl had no qualms punching noses and kicking shins to work through the female throng to her boyfriend. Once, the blond girl had actually whipped out a can of bug repellant and sprayed it in the eyes of a clinging crowd of girls to elbow past them. And though the vocalist was still horribly unpopular with his male classmates, the Uchiha heir sometimes spotted the blond joking with a group of boys and laughing away their questions about Ino's three sizes.

All in all, dating Yamanaka Ino actually seemed to be a smart, _strategic_ choice for the usuratonkachi, which was what one Uchiha Sasuke had come to believe and, maybe, just maybe, _forgive_ – since his own school life was growing more and more bearable each day: waking up with his idol drooling on his chest, protecting his breakfast from a hungry blond, trading off his mentaiko (which he had for this very purpose) for a heated "brotherly" kiss, finishing off the dobe's homework in five minutes while Naruto perched his head on Sasuke's lap and watched morning tv, walking to school side by side to a point where it wasn't suspicious they were living together, coming close to enjoying the talks with Sakura and Hinata during breaks about the newest _Dead Last _song, going to his job at the music store, enjoying an Itachi-less house to himself till his uke came home, and, most of all, getting more than a healthy dose of "brotherly" exercise all night (Sasuke was bent on coaxing Naruto to the dark side – even if it meant coaxing Naruto's body first and soul sometime later).

Yes, Yamanaka Ino was just the convenient excuse for the public eye – or so Sasuke had thought till one evening, which started off harmlessly enough. The Uchiha had gotten off from work a little late and had stopped off at a convini for band-aids with little shurikens all over them. (Sasuke didn't think he'd bitten _that _hard last night in the bath, but Naruto was upset so… what are you going to do?) The raven-haired boy had cracked a smile at the vocalist's scrawled note on the door of his room ("Oi, don't eat dinner. I'm gonna take you out. Miss you. 'Ruto."), changed out of his hideous female getup into an old pair of shorts, stalked into the kitchen to get a snack of tomatoes to tide himself over…

…and found himself meeting the startled eyes of Ino, wearing Naruto's orange bathrobe and eating a bowl of Sasuke's Cinnamon Toast Crunch. In the next second, the Uchiha heir was covered with a spray of milk and half-chewed cereal flakes as Ino spit out her food in shock.

"Oh my god, oh my god. I'm so sorry." The blond girl gasped in embarrassment as Sasuke scowled, reaching for paper towels and simultaneously smoothing his bangs down to obscure his face.

Struggling against natural instinct to ogle as the steaming hot stranger in front of her wipe at his perfectly toned, naked chest, Ino peered instead at her bowl as if it were a crystal ball and wondered out loud, "Is my boyfriend incapable of having non-gorgeous friends or something? Are you a supermodel too? Or the next big actor?"

"Hnnn," was the only reply Ino got. Unable to resist, she darted her head up to see Mr. Sex God pull on a discarded shirt hanging off the back of a chair and blushed accordingly. How did he manage to pull off beautiful and elegant in a ramen stained shirt, anyway?

"What are you doing here?" the raven-haired boy demanded, his oynx eyes darting from the girl's wet hair to his goddamn Cinnamon Toast Crunch soaking in milk.

"Oh, uh…" Ino's blush darkened. "Naruto had to run off to some urgent meeting so he left me here by myself and – "

"That doesn't answer my question, does it?" The handsome boy sneered and something in his voice struck a familiar chord in the blond girl.

She found herself blurting, "Do you know Uchiha Sasuke by any chance? You kind of look like her. She's this really pretty classmate of mine at Konoha Academy…"

Ino trailed off when the boy's glare intensified.

"We might be related," he hissed. "It doesn't matter. Stop avoiding my question: What. The. Fuck. Are you doing in my apartment?"

The blond girl dared turn the color of his favorite food, which, at that exact moment, pissed Sasuke off to no end. "Well, um, that. Fucking. Duh."

"Fucking Naruto?" Sasuke asked.

"Who else…?" Ino attempted to cover her flaming cheeks with her palms and responded to the sheer surprise in the boy's voice with a shy laugh. "Yeah, well, I was surprised too. I thought I'd have to use figurines or something to explain what sex was to Uzumaki Too Naïve To Live Naruto, but – seriously, there was, like, no need. I think that boy invented sex. I mean, I am dating Konoha's most wanted guy so I guess the great ass part was to be expected but – hey, are you all right?"

Sasuke had sat down, hard, in the seat across from Ino. There was a long uncomfortable silence as the blonde girl stirred her soggy cereal around and the raven-haired boy massaged his temples as his world cracked again into little, little pieces before his very eyes (not uncommon when one shared a life with the number one surprising dobe, but really…). Finally, Konoha's Madonna couldn't hold it in any longer and spat out what she'd figured out in that chilling twenty seconds – what her boyfriend couldn't despite months of all that kissing and dry humping.

"Look, does Naruto know he's rooming with a gay guy?"

When the raven-haired boy didn't respond except with an Uchiha Glare™, Ino grimaced.

"It certainly sounds like something Naruto would overlook," the blonde girl mused, before going on to say carefully, "Ne, Related-to-Sasuke-san? It might not be my place to say but… I understand what you are going through."

More angry silence.

"No, I really do!" Ino insisted. "Don't throw stones at me but… I used to be a Shikamaru fan. Or, still am. And, like, I found out rather abruptly that Shikamaru was engaged and kind of lost my mind over it. Then I realized that I might not be true to him after all if I let some of my preconceived notions of him get in the way of my liking him. So, I still like Shikamaru a lot and am glad I do, even after knowing him as a person with a life off stage – a life that I totally don't know about but still… Well, because he's my idol and I can't help but think he's perfect still, despite anything. Don't get me wrong, though, I am not going to cheat on Naruto or anything like that – "

"Shut up," Sasuke snapped quietly, getting up from his seat and heading for the refrigerator in search of tomatoes. "You are noisy."

"Oh… oh, sorry." The blond girl bit her lip and, sneaking a look at her dark companion, cracked a hesitant grin. "But you feel better?"

Though he scoffed at her question, Ino didn't hear a no. Pleased that she could be of very minimal assistance to Sasuke's relative (since Sasuke was the only girl in school who still talked to her anymore), she braved another question, "Hey, should I kinda hint to Naruto that you are, like, really gay? Since, y'know, that only seems fair."

Sasuke actually replied to that one: "Gay? You'll definitely have to use figurines to explain that one to Naruto."

* * *

By the time Naruto came home, Sasuke had finished off an entire gallon of ice cream topped off with marshmallows, chocolate covered strawberries, and nachos. Ino, before she'd left, had advised ingesting as many calories as possible – supposedly, this was some female folk wisdom for curing heartaches. Because life in which Naruto wasn't a virgin (check: Naruto wasn't a virgin and still wasn't letting the Uchiha in his pants) didn't really seem worth living, the raven-haired boy had decided to give the voodoo remedy a try, even though he detested sweets.

To his surprised, it actually worked. Two hours later, one and a half of which he'd spent throwing up with his head deep in the toilet bowl, Sasuke felt too sick to contemplate suicide.

That's why when Naruto came home to give Sasuke a friendly slug in the shoulder and ask where he wanted to eat out, the raven-haired boy slurred, so grouchily that the blond eeped out loud, that he never wanted to eat again in this lifetime.

"But I wanted to celebrate!" Naruto pouted, settling down besides Sasuke on the leather couch. "Did you notice our new song topped Oricon charts this week?"

The Uchiha just glared in reply, wondering how Naruto managed to look sexy even while cackling goofily like that. Simply wearing a casual pair of gray jeans and a white t-shirt and leafing his hand through his golden locks, the dobe appeared more fuckable that moment than any porn star before a camera.

No wonder he was such a little slut… and a naïve slut too. Did it really get any more frustrating than this?!

"Oi, usuratonkachi." Sasuke coughed out, "How many girlfriends have you had?"

Naruto's eyebrows shut up on his forehead. After a pause, the blond shrugged. "Well, that's a random question. Uuuuh, twenty something? I dunno, it never lasted long since I realized pretty quick that whoever she was wouldn't help me get over Temari. Ino's my first girlfriend since I joined the band, though. I knew a certain someone would have a cow if I got one, treating me like a baby and all."

Cutting off the blonde's heated muttering, Sasuke demanded, "How many girls have you laid, dobe?"

Naruto shrugged. "Twice that number? C'mon, why are you asking?" The vocalist suddenly sat up, his electric blue eyes twinkling. "Ne, ne… could it be 'cause… you are a virgin? With that face?"

"What about my face?" the Uchiha growled.

"You are pretty damn sexy. Duh." Naruto rolled his eyes. "If you were really a girl, I'd be all over you."

It was the wrong thing to say at the wrong time. In one fluid pull, Sasuke had yanked Naruto on top of him and found the dobe's soft pink lips with his own. The Uchiha darted out a tongue, massaging the fat lower lip for any foreign taste – but all he could feel was the wetness of Naruto's saliva and the heat of his breaths.

"Sem… pai…?"

Instead of replying, Sasuke continued to push his lips against Naruto's in an almost urgent desperation. But these lips were his. They were his. Again and again, the Uchiha claimed his dobe's mouth in a deep kiss, his tongue wrapping, sticking, gliding against the slickness of Naruto's own.

The magic happened when the vocalist, for once, kissed back. Naruto's tongue was pressing, wanting, searching; his arms encircled the Uchiha's neck; his moan burst inside the raven-haired boy's mouth so that it seemed to seep through him in an erotic electric current. Sasuke flipped their bodies around so that Naruto was under him, forcing his hand beneath the dobe's shirt to massage hardening nipples, the rising and falling chest, the slickness of toned muscle…

"Sasu-Sasuke, what's… wrong?" Naruto murmured, cupping the bigger boy's face in his warm hands and meeting dark eyes with his light ones.

"I…"

_I feel so lonely._

The Uchiha didn't mean to say it out loud – but he must have, because in the next second a frantic look overcame the dobe's sensual features and it was Naruto who was kissing urgently, desperately, now. The tanned fingers ghosted against Sasuke's skin, pulling at the shirt and pressing against the white, white flesh. And Naruto's lips were like heaven, full and supple beneath his own. Sasuke knew, theoretically, that Naruto was such a good kisser because he was, let's face it, overly experienced, but at the moment he couldn't give a damn.

At the moment, one Uzumaki Naruto was the one kissing Uchiha Sasuke and it wasn't a dream.

Soon, the shirts had come off and the two boys were lying, skin against warm skin. Sasuke felt the hardness of Naruto's nipples with his own, liked the way the blond was crushed beneath his bigger frame, and loved that the dobe was licking the sweat from his neck.

"Still…? Are you still lonely?" Naruto wanted to know, running his hand along the muscles of Sasuke's back.

"Yeah," the Uchiha whispered, burying his face into his idol's neck and wrapping his arms around the slender body – holding fast.

"Why?" Naruto's erotic voice asked worriedly.

"Because I should hate you," Sasuke spoke softly, painfully, into Naruto's skin. "You only do things that piss me off: You are hung up over some bitch manager who doesn't deserve you, you get instantly close with the man I hate most in this world, and you betray me by dating the wrong person, but…"

"Sasuke sempai?"

"I should hate you. And maybe I do… but so much it's messed up my heart into thinking that it…"

In an instant, Naruto was tearing himself away and stumbling off his seat. The wide-eyed dobe trained his electric blue eyes on the dark, dark ones of the pale boy sitting hunched in the folds of the leather couch. Gaping, the vocalist demanded, "Wh-what did you say?"

"My heart thinks that it loves you. And maybe it does – I do," Sasuke answered without a flinch. "I love you, Naruto."

Silence.

Then the blond was babbling now, doubtfully, fearfully, "You can't be serious! We are both guys datteba! The kissing must be confusing you – look, I was only trying to cheer you up since you looked so down, sempai…"

"I'm not your brother. I'm not even really your fan at all, Naruto," the Uchiha said calmly, as if announcing the weather, though the flickering red eyes gave too much away. "I don't want your music or your body even. I just want you. All of you. To keep for me."

"…get out…"

"Dobe…"

"GET OUT GET OUT!" Naruto screamed, hurling everything within his reach at Sasuke. "THAT'S NOT WHAT I… I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN, YOU FUCKING TRAITOR! I TRUSTED YOU AND YOU ARE JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER STUPID GIRLS WHO ONLY – "

"Who only what, usuratonkachi? Let you pretend that you aren't alone? Let you pretend that there isn't that greedy demon living just beneath your skin because you want them to? Well, I'm done pretending!" the Uchiha interrupted the other's yelling. "I want you because you are the only thing I've ever wanted in my life."

In the next heartbeat, Naruto was slugging him full in the face. Choking up blood, Sasuke lifted a hand to block and had it jerked away by the blond who – kissed him roughly against the torn lip. The vocalist's nails were digging into his back and probably drawing blood, but the Uchiha was more aware of their violent kiss – tinged with the metallic taste of his own blood. One hand fisting Naruto's soft hair and the other holding the small of his back in place, the raven-haired boy sought revenge for the punch by biting down on the other boy's lips without restraint.

Between groans and gasps, kissing and biting, hugging and scratching, the two struggled out of the rest of their clothing. Sasuke forced his fingers into Naruto's mouth and the vocalist sucked them on impulse. Dragging out a trail of saliva, the Uchiha heir shoved them between the cheeks of the blond's buttocks.

"Hey wait! Why am I the uke when you go to school every day in a skirt and a br– "

Sasuke effectively cut off Naruto's protests by rubbing his naked penis against the other boy's. The sensation was painful, hot, sexy, glorious – especially when Naruto cried out in his luscious voice. A groan full and heady. In seconds, Sasuke had lathered his palm with spit and was rubbing it up and down the shaft of his own dick.

"Brace yourself," the raven-haired boy whispered thickly.

Naruto didn't get a chance to respond to the curt warning as Sasuke pinned his leg up and rammed himself inside. Screaming in pain, the blond scrambled to pull the cheeks of his buttocks apart for better access – but the next thrust still wrenched another scream of pain, pleasure, pain, pleasure, pain, pain…

Soon, the saliva lubricant wasn't enough. The Uchiha fumbled for one of the many hidden bottles of lotion the boys kept underneath the sofa and had applied a thick coat in a matter of seconds that weren't fast enough. Because Sasuke couldn't think about anything apart from feeling more of the tight hotness that swallowed at his cock and Naruto thrust even harder against Sasuke because Naruto couldn't think about anything but that Sasuke had said he wanted him and only him and that loneliness felt the same as pain which felt the same as pleasure and lust and Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke…

They came together, Sasuke deep inside Naruto and Naruto staining his leather couch for good.

* * *

Naruto begged Sasuke to keep what happened a secret from Ino and the Uchiha generously agreed – in exchange for regular sex. The blond was a little upset with the terms (i.e. sent a spiraling kick to the raven-haired boy's balls, which the heir to the dojo luckily blocked – else he might have been infertile for the rest of his life) and disagreed a little at first (i.e. screamed NOFUCKINGWAY four hundred and twelve times while threatening to report sexual harassment to the police/his lawyer/sober Kakashi), but saw reason when Sasuke eloquently convinced him (i.e. flicked open his cell phone, dialed Ino's number, and actually got to the third ring before Naruto burst into tears and caved).

Since that night, Sasuke and Naruto had sex pretty regularly on that couch. After each time, Naruto would get really embarrassed and insist they sleep in different rooms – though, after three or four hours, the blond would crawl under Sasuke's cover and be screwed thoroughly again before going to sleep. The raven-haired boy was willing to put up with Naruto's in-the-closet issues – as long as said raven-haired boy was in the same closet.

Ino, however, was freaking out. At first, the blond Madonna had been relieved since Naruto's insatiable stamina had been unduly wearing her out. But after three weeks of just two attempts at intercourse – one of which Naruto, _that _Uzumaki Naruto who had been not only able but wanting to do it multiple times in a row before, failed to maintain an erection – Ino realized that maybe, just maybe, she shouldn't have been so understanding towards her boyfriend's gay roommate after all…

And these were the suspicions she relayed to Hinata (who Ino'd bribed into talking to her with snapshots of a sleeping Naruto) in an empty classroom… too bad that this was the same classroom that one horny Uchiha Sasuke, knowing he wouldn't last through the day, had dragged one squirming Uzumaki Naruto to, well, to obviously do ecchi things to. The two naked boys were literally hiding inside a broom closet while the two girls discussed the new turn of events.

Hinata blinked her large pearly eyes at a glum Ino, "You're saying… that Naruto-sama is actually… gay?"

There was an enormous clatter in the background and both girls jumped. However, when it was followed by a long silence, they resumed whispering.

"Who says Naruto is gay?!" Ino hissed. "I'm telling you I'm worried that he's being seduced by a really hot gay guy that lives in his house like a total stalker and I'm freaked out that it might be working even when he's not really gay because he said he likes me!"

Hinata remained quiet for a few thoughtful moments, finally asking carefully with her usual princess-like delicacy, "How… hot is really hot?"

"Smoking. On fire!" Ino smacked her own forehead repeatedly. "Like, try to imagine if Sasuke-chan were a guy. He said they were distantly related or something."

Another clatter, but this time the girls just ignored it. They were doing a deep analysis here and couldn't be bothered. Girls know how to do hard business. Duh.

"A guy version… of Sasuke-san?" Hinata bit her lip before bursting into helpless giggles. "But that's too weird!"

"Well, it's a hot weird, okay?" Ino snapped. "Ne, Hinata, what do I doooo?"

To that, the other girl spread her hands. "Feel fortunate… that you were blessed with… Naruto-sama's love… for even a short while?"

"No way! That's for Yamato Nadeshiko types like you, all right? This means TOTAL war! My hotness against Mr. Gay Guy's." Ino balled up her fists. "Naruto may be an obnoxious man, but he's MY obnoxious man and I'm not going to give him up to some rooster head who wears too much mascara without a fight!"

A muffled snicker was followed by the muted sound of foot meeting shin.

"Speaking of… too much mascara…" Hinata piped in quietly. "Ino-chan, I don't… I don't know if attractiveness is… the issue at hand. I have…"

With that mumbled statement, the black-haired girl withdrew a glitzy magazine from her Gucci backpack.

"What is it?" Ino flipped open the first few glossy pages and her mouth dropped open in shock. "Ooh la la! Whoooo in the wooooorld is this divine creature?"

"Kiba-san told me… this is… Sabaku no Gaara…" Hinata blushed. "He is… very handsome… isn't he? He models… mostly in Europe… He is… Naruto-sama's adopted brother…"

"Why wasn't I born an European chick so I can buy more of his merchandise?!" Ino wailed, bringing the magazine close to her face and perusing it intently. "Stupid parents who won't immigrate!"

"Is he… more handsome than… Naruto's roommate?" Hinata wondered aloud.

"Hands down, six thousand times more handsome." The blonde girl, ignoring another protesting clatter in the background, nodded fervently. "You are right, Hinata. If this is the kind of face Naruto is used to, hotness is probably not the way to Naruto's heart. Else, Naruto would probably just choose gooorgeous Sabaku no Gaara-san over gay roommate or me."

"They are… adopted brothers… though," Hinata said, over the hysteric storm of even more protesting clattering going on in the background.

Ino snorted. "As if that's ever stopped yaoi goodness before. But, hey, did you say Kiba told you all that?" The blonde's eyes glinted mischievously. "He's really into you, then? Letting you in on this insider stuff. Do ya like him?"

At that, the Hyuuga heir blushed dark red. "No… I… I am Naruto-sama's fan… a-a loyal fan… unlike some…"

Ino cringed. "I'm sorry, all right? Would you let it go already?!"

"And…" Hinata looked down at her feet. "My family wouldn't let me… date… anyway…"

"Oh." The blonde girl frowned in remembrance. "Oh that's right. You have that super strict cousin who won't let you breathe on your own."

"Neji onii-sama… is just worried about me… that's all," Hinata whispered back.

"Just worried? He's like a combination of Asian parent and international spy! I had to sneak you out for your first _Dead Last_ concert – past the hounds!" Ino scowled. "And he won't even let you have any of _Dead Last _merchandise in your room!"

"Onii-sama… is just worried," Hinata repeated again, more firmly.

"Yeah, well, I'm worried too. Hinata-chaaaaan, what should I do about Naruto?"

There was long pause, before the white-eyed girl said softly, "Sakura-chan told me… not to tell you… this… this important thing we found… so we could… get praised by Naruto-sama ourselves… but…"

"She what?" The blonde girl flared up. "Darn that big forehead girl, she's so – !"

"But…" Hinata interrupted. "I think Sakura-chan… mentioned it when she found out… that I was going to talk to you… because she was worried about you… being so sad lately…"

Konoha's Madonna blinked, caught off guard by that. Finally, she said, "…you think so?"

"Yes… of course. Sakura-san… she researched it for days and days… and finally found an obscure… distributor and… I told… Neji onii-sama that… I wanted a small island off Fukuoka… so he gave me some spending money and… we bought this."

Hinata took out a very pretty box wrapped in slick black and tied up with a big orange silk bow.

"Kiba-san… told me that… even Naruto-sama has yet to hear it… since it was… from so long ago." The black haired girl placed the box in her friend's hand. "Ino-chan… this is… a CD that Naruto-sama's… parents recorded in high school… I think… you can make him… very happy and… maybe be able to tell him… when you give this CD to him… how much you really do care about… him and his music… ne?"

"HINATA-CHAAAAAAN!" Ino blubbered up, before falling into the other girl's arms and bursting into tears. "I love you! I love you!"

Hyuuga Hinata patted the bigger girl tenderly on the back. "Please make… Naruto-sama happy."

Of course the two girls, busy hugging and giggling, couldn't see the stark change of said idol's expression at that moment. Until Hinata had pulled out the box, a half-clothed Naruto had been snickering and poking jokingly as much as a half-clothed Sasuke. Now, the strange, guilty look that fleeted across the tan face made the Uchiha's heart skip a beat…

* * *

_A/N_: Please hang around for another big revelation in chapter eleven. Also, from the next chapter on, we are going to take it more from Naruto's side of things – so get excited.

Also, please, please leave a comment of your thoughts on what happened so far and/or what will happen in the future. I don't write fanfic much anymore and, if I didn't get the support I did from some of my reviewers, I'd probably have already stopped posting on fanfiction. I'm going to run another Rosesareblue's Review and Replied Corner, so I'll hopefully see you there too. SasuNaru Hearts!

Welcome back to **Rosesareblue's Review and be Replied Corner**. Kukuku. The cast of Dead Last has been tackling the reviews that've come in for chapter ten so far and are excited to reply to some of the questions and concerns. We are going to do more of these, so please post your thoughts!

To **Bligy**'s "I love the fact that Sasuke has spent all this time holding Naruto on this innocent naive little pedestal, and yet Naruto's slept with like... fifty women. THAT made me piss myself laughing":

Kiba: (swarming Bligy with his bandmates) C'moooon, high five, high five!

Chouji: Buhahahaha. Me too, me too!

Shikamaru: (lightly punches Bligy's shoulder) Hey, not bad. Yer all right.

Rosesareblue: (trying to be seen behind the hot musicians and fumbling with her notes) Um, e-excuse me, about your Itachi comment... I wouldn't worry about not seeing him much because in the next chapter I have him in this -

Naruto: (in the background) KEEP YOUR PANTS ON FOR ONCE, SEMPAI! IT'S JUST AN HONEST OPINION!

Sasuke: (struggling) Pissed herself laughing, huh? My prissy little rants? Wants more of Itachi?! LET GO DOBE I'M GOING TO HUNT THIS IDIOT DOWN AND RE-EDUCATE HER WITH THIS! (touts _Bligy anti-club _pin and pamphlet)

Naruto: You're the idiot, sempai. She's not going to join her own anti-club!

To **Jelp**'s "I wonder - with Naruto so experienced and all, how could he NOT realize what he was getting into with Sasuke?XD He's a dobe, but not that big of a dobe. HE MUST LOVE SASUKE TOO!":

Sasuke: (stalking into Jelp's living room, handing her a clipboard, and plopping down on a nearby couch) My family life is pretty fucked up, I have to say. My mom, who I don't really remember or care to, croaked. My dad is a jackass.

Jelp: (blinking at clipboard) Um, why are you talking to me like I'm your psychiatrist?

Sasuke: (glares) Look, doc. Just prescribe the medication. Oh, and write in some aphrodasiac for the dobe too.

Naruto: (nods sagely in background) That's what you get for being so understanding, Jelp-chan.

To **Catastrophic Monsoon**'s "I was thinking it would be funny if Gaara came back and he competed against Sasuke for Naruto XD":

Sasuke: (to Naruto) Who the fuck is Gaara?

Naruto: My half-brother dattebayo.

Sasuke: (eyes becoming slits) Oh, the one who is described as having a penis that's six thousand times smaller than mine?

Catastrophic Monsoon: (skimming chapter ten) Wait a minute! That's not what it says here!

To **Vine Verrine**'s "It's just a thingy about the mentality of my country and it's culture, but we always say: IF YOU START IT, YOU FINISH IT":

Rosesareblue: Oh, absolutely. In my country, we believe...

Friend: Hey, Rosesareblue, could you do a yaoi fic of Pencil/Eraser?

Rosesareblue: Eh, but I dun ship Pencil/Eraser and I'm supposed to update this other fic.

Friend: A bunch of us are gonna write, like, ten reviews per chapter and also bake you cookies. Plus, I love you.

Rosesareblue: (lopes off screaming) OMG, I TOTALLY DIG PENCIL/ERASER. THEY ARE MY OTP.

Temari: (cringing) She means to say, in her country and its culture, they believe: DO IT IF IT GETS YOU MORE LOVE AND FANGIRL EVERYTHING.

To **JOKER-ILF**'s "But if you ever need help with smut, you could always ask us your lovely reviewers to assist you. We could give you some tips if you ever have ideas. I could pitch some ideas if you would like":

Rosesareblu3: (knocks at JOKER-ILF's door) Hey, I'm this Rosesarewhatevertheheck. (hands over card) I thought I'd take you up since there isn't nearly enough smut in this fic. Get writing, biatch.

JOKER-ILF: (squints at offered card) But this says Uchiha dojo...?

Rosesareblu3: That's just a typo. Now, listen, I like the handcuff thing, so throw some of that in there. Also, have in the middle a part where the dobe screams, "Sasuke, put it in deeper. Way deeper." Are you taking notes or what? I want that part in all-caps, got that?

JOKER-ILF: (squints at Rosesareblu3) You look like Sasuke...?

Rosesareblue3: (glares) Stop thinking about irrelevant details and start thinking about how you are going to put in a rubber tomato and still make it hawt.

To **KL Lover**'s "But now... will Naruto choose to break Sasuke's heart and continue on with Ino or will he break Ino's heart and be with Sasuke? Hm...":

Hosesareblue: (knocks at KL Lover's door and, when it opens, flashes her card) Hello. I am the true fic writer of this story, Rosesaresomethingorother, and I can answer that one. Naruto-chan is obviously going to break Sasuke's heart and continue with Ino because she's such a sweet girl with a perfect body. Duh.

KL Lover: (confused) I could have sworn that card read Yamanaka Flower Shop...

Hosesareblue: (flipping her blonde ponytail over her shoulder) That's probably a trick of this lighting. Look. For some reason, chapter eleven now has some anal sex between Sasuke and Naruto involving handcuffs, a rubber tomato, and a flaming torch thrower. Could you like, write Rosesare- cough, cough, um, I meant write me and suggest that there needs to be a little more Sasuke bashing because he's a homewrecker and also just an insane psychopath that's a threat to all humanity? Please?

KL Lover: (still confused) Rosesareblue looks like Ino...?

Hosesareblue: Ha! She wishes! Oh, um, cough, cough. I mean, don't mind these details and get writing. Chop, chop. You don't want Naruto to end up with that rooster-headed bastard, do you?

KL Lover: Um... (sweatdrops)

And that's another wrap! We are going to reply to more reviews for chapter ten, so please let us know your thoughts on the story if you haven't already or if you want to add something to your comments. Thanks all for your wonderful reviews and support!


	11. For Itachi

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is drawn and written by a fantastically splendid, wonderfully cute, and very talented manga artist: the Masashi Kishimoto. (And Kishimoto-san, if you are, by the slimmest chance, reading this and somehow understanding the English, please elope with me; I will bring the bags of onigiri.)

**Chapter Rating: **R (for explicit language, situation, and Naruto being too hot for his own good.)

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the long hiatus. I was abroad in Jaaaaapan. I updated Give You Back and Ultimate Uke Syndrome, so go check it out if you haven't! Without further ado, on with this story!

**My E-mail:** rosesareblue at ymail dot com (Write me with any comments, questions, or suggestions. Remember, there's nothing like feedback that improves an author's moral/writing and keeps the chapters coming.)

**/ D E A D / L A S T /**

**By Rosesareblue**

_Chapter Eleven: For Itachi_

"Are you just about done now, because you are kinda scaring everybody you megalomaniac little son of a bitch," Kankuro said affectionately, stroking his hot friends-with-lots-of-benefits on the back while taking a deep drag from his cigarette.

Naruto looked up from smashing Kankuro's rosewood coffee table apart with Kankuro's number one wood. The blond had met Ino afterschool. He had accepted her embrace and her shyly offered gift. He had confirmed that the present was indeed an obscure recording of his late parents from their high school days. And, not wanting to face practice with Temari and the rest of the band or home with Sasuke, he had done what any teenage boy on the brink of emotional breakdown wants to do: sought out his playboy older brother in his snazzy bachelor pad, snubbed sex with one of the beautiful women who happened to be there, became intimate with his brother's close friend Mary Jane instead, and went on a destructive rage with expensive golf clubs.

"I can hear you," Naruto barked, pausing in mid-smash. "Turn up the volume. You can barely hear my mum's fantastic guitar rift."

Kankuro shrugged and reached for the volume with his foot. Clicking the up button with his toe (for the channel and not the volume which was already on max, but the little tyke need not know that), Kankuro grinned as he watched his adopted brother scream like a banshee and stomp on the coffee table's remains. The hot friends-with-lots-of-benefits in his lap shrieked when Naruto started hurling golf balls at the Victorian vases across the room and, grabbing her discarded bra off the couch, hightailed it from the room with her equally hot friend who was sobbing in the corner (her pride having been duly hurt when Dead Last's vocal, on seeing her naked, had asked for golf clubs). But what did women know about successful psychological therapy – as this clearly was. Naruto was blowing off steam and Kankuro now had a great excuse to replace furniture that looked like Temari had picked it out – which she had. Rosemary? Victorian vases? In a bachelor pad? C'mon! If it weren't for the naked and signed-with-lipstick posters of gravure models on the walls, women would start questioning his sexual orientation… and it wasn't like Kankuro was Gaara. He couldn't get laid despite questions of gayness – or even _because_ of those questions. Damn that little eyebrowless freak for getting the lion's share of looks in the family…

"WHY ARE THEY SO GOOD, HUH?" Naruto roared, starting at the widescreen television. Kankuro almost rose to stop him, but let it go when he realized the blond was leaving the Wii completely unharmed. Stoned as he was, Naruto apparently retained some sense.

Or not…

"THEY WEREN'T EVEN FUCKING POPULAR! AND HE SOUNDS BETTER THAN ME AUTO-TUNED! FUCK DAD! NO, FUCK ME! FUCK ME WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE I'M NOT EVEN A MUSICIAN JUST ANOTHER MOVING PHOTOSHOPPED POSTER BOY WHEN I HAVE THESE INCREDIBLE GENES WHAT THE FUCK!"

Kankuro snickered. "If you say 'fuck me' one more time, little brother, I'll actually do you – and then Gaara will smash more than my coffee table. Go straight for my balls, probably, and I value those a lot more than the Victorian vases…"

"AT LEAST GAARA IS INTERNATIONALLY HOT! ALL I'M GOOD FOR IS LOCAL LIP GLOSS ADS THAT I WOULDN'T BE DOING IF I SOUNDED LIKE MY TALENTED PARENTS WHO WERE OBVIOUSLY STINGY WITH SHARING MUSICAL BLOOD! NO WONDER TEMARI DOESN'T WANT ME!" Naruto homerun slammed the television, sending it scuttling across the living room.

"Look, I think Temari was already out of the question when you asked me to mix your vodka with apple juice." Kankuro lit another cigarette. "'Ruto, 'Ruto. So you're hot and some stupid girls notice that first. It's like how we notice their boobs before we notice whether or not they have tattoos on their inner thighs…"

"WHAT?"

"I'm just saying, let the public get to know you. Soon, they will notice that you sing some too."

"NOT LIKE THIS!" Naruto swung his club around and made a jabbing motion towards the sound system. "I DON'T SOUND LIKE THIS…! I'LL NEVER SOUND LIKE THIS! ALL I AM IS A LUCKY SON OF A BITCH WANTINGS THINGS I DON'T DESERVE WHEN I NEVER HAD ANYTHING SPECTACULAR EVER COME OUT OF MY MOUTH!"

As the Dead Last vocal finally turned towards his last prey, the sound system blasting musical genius, the track changed. The final song was a soft rock ballad. After a series of strummed, sensually contained chords, his father's voice crooned about broken dreams, cursed blood, and red eyes.

"Hmm…" Kankuro reached for the CD case. "This one's a little different…"

"…off…"

"The song's titled 'For Itachi'. Itachi? Whozzat? Someone your folks knew?"

"I SAID TURN IT OFF!" Naruto made a beastly lunge towards the stereo and smashed his hand against the eject button.

"Geez, calm down." Kankuro grabbed the remote and turned off his sound system. "Want me to get you something to drink? You coming off the high or something? Throw up in the bathroom or I'll kill you."

The blond remained crumpled amongst the broken glass and wood, his knuckles white from grasping the edge of the stereo. He muttered, over and over, "That's not for me. That song's not for me. It's meant for someone else. Someone special."

* * *

Naruto tugged his cap down to cover his ears and adjusted his dark glasses on his nose. Kankuro had finally kicked him out of his house, telling him to wander around town and cool his head until there was at least some new furniture for him to destroy. But the blond hated crowds. In them, somehow, he always felt terribly lonely – so many people, it seemed, but none of them knew him. Or, rather, acknowledged him for the things that he wanted so much to be acknowledged for.

So he was walking in the opposite direction of downtown. Naruto took out his cell phone from his jean and realized he had accumulated 273 messages in his two days of going missing. Most were from Temari, crammed with threats of what fatal crimes would happen if he didn't show up at tomorrow's photo shoot. The rest were from the band, Ino sempai, Hinata and Sakura sempai…

…and, of course, Sasuke sempai.

The blonde sighed, clutching his phone, and reading again and again the raven-haired boy's short messages: "Where are you, dobe?" "Come home already, usuratonkachi." "Look, I have miso ramen. (pic attached)"

Naruto liked Sasuke. Heck, he was kinda obsessed with Sasuke. The Uchiha could always drive him crazy with one snarky comment – and that was just too interesting, wasn't it? So Naruto had kept the raven-haired boy close, to keep things alive, real, meaningful. But now the Uchiha was too close for comfort. The sex wasn't necessarily what freaked Naruto out – they had fun physically and that sexy bastard had a sensuality no female could match, so what? Sasuke had said so himself, they were between love and hate; Naruto figured it was all fire, not a romantic involvement…

No, what bothered Naruto about Sasuke was that the bigger boy was now too close for his opinions on Dead Last music to matter, which was hands down the most important thing. The raven-haired boy's eyes, however good they were, couldn't be trusted to see the blond's real value anymore. He might as well be part of the estranged crowd that wanted him for all the wrong reasons. Although, Sasuke was indeed different in that… unlike the crowd, Naruto wanted him too.

"Look, look, look!"

"Ohmigod, I love this one!"

"That's Uzumaki Naruto, right?"

"Duh! Every time I see him I want to RIP MY HEART OUT AND BLEED LOVE!"

The vocalist flinched, thinking he'd been recognized. But what'd caused all the excitement was a Dead Last promotional video playing on the wide-screen television of an electronics store. Naruto's eyes narrowed as he recognized which pv it was. The one he detested the most. The song, like most of them, had been composed by Shikamaru and was called "Konoha." It was a gorgeous melody that the blond had believed deserved some artsy, maybe abstract footage, by smart people who knew those things.

Instead, it featured no one in the band but Naruto. Running. That was it. It was a PV of Naruto running through various scenery wearing a bunch of costumes, most of them he had to admit were kinda slutty. What baffled the vocalist to no end was that though it was virtually an imitation of an Animal Kingdom documentary, it still had been the most popular of all of the Dead Last PVs.

What the fuck. Seriously. Maybe the melody had carried it through? Come to think of it, it reminded Naruto a lot of his parents' song "For Itachi"…

The Dead Last vocal stopped short in his tracks. Itachi-san. That was it! Itachi-san, having known his parents, would be able to see Naruto for the failure he was and, finally, finally, tell it to his face. It would be such a relief, to have that true opinion out in the open, by someone who saw his value clearly…

The blond turned on his heels and ran towards the Uchiha dojo.

* * *

Naruto paced in front of Uchiha mansion, until one of the maids finally peeked out and asked shyly, intimidated by the blond's obnoxious shades, "I-if you are looking for Sasuke-sama, the young mas-mistress is at school."

The rock star shook his head furiously. "No, I…"

Suddenly, a hand dropped on the dobe's shoulder. Naruto swiveled about and found himself looking up at the red glowing eyes of one Uchiha Itachi. The blond blushed. Such pretty red eyes…

"Itachi-san!"

"Itachi-sama!" The maid nearly folded in half with her bow.

Ignoring her, Itachi gently pressed Naruto's shoulder. "Come with me."

For some reason, the older man's elegance made the blond blush darken. "S-sorry to bother you."

"You are never a bother."

After that, the kimono-clad man and the badly dressed boy made their way to Itachi's private office. Once there, Naruto felt even more awkward on noticing that one embarrassing poster that Sasuke sempai had wanted. What was it called. Meow Naruto or something?

The blond tried to laugh it off, indicating the poster. "You have some weird hobbies."

The older Uchiha was unfazed. "Why? You are beautiful, just like him."

At that acknowledgement, Naruto found himself blabbering, "Did you know my parents? Since when? How?"

Itachi offered the boy a seat, before sitting down himself under the giant poster. Instead of answering Naruto's question, he called the dojo kitchen on his desk phone, asking for refreshments. The vocalist realized, flaming bright crimson, that if he looked up at the poster from the angle he sat, he could see Itachi-san between his own thighs.

Shit.

Only when the tea and dangos came, did Itachi answer Naruto's question. "Your father and I went to the same boys' boarding school since childhood. My eyes were weak then, so I visited the Namikaze household frequently for checkups. We became friends quickly."

"That's right. Dad's pops was a doctor, I remember…"

Itachi let a gentle smile spread over his white sculpted features. "When I was little, the only thing I saw clearly was your father's voice. I was a big fan. Still am."

In the older man's piercing red-eyed stare, Naruto felt his heartbeat quicken. He _knew_. Itachi-san did know his parents and understood.

"This!" Naruto cleared his throat when his voice cracked and said again, "U-um, this, I wanted to give it to you. This CD has the song 'For Itachi' in it, so I thought I should… return it to you."

Itachi raised his eyebrow, exactly like Sasuke did, and flipped Naruto's precious CD over in his graceful hand. Then, to the dobe's utmost shock, the older Uchiha tossed the CD into the nearby trashcan.

Naruto saw red and felt the demon in him burst to life, screaming and raging.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" the Dead Last vocal roared, darting to retrieve his treasured CD. "THIS BELONGED TO DAD!"

Itachi, however, was very calm. "I dislike it. Actually, I hate it. Especially that song."

"TEME!" Naruto was on the desk now, fisting the front of the bigger man's kimono. "I'LL KILL YOU-"

The Uchiha shrugged. "There's no truth to it. His voice is trying too hard to please in that song. It was one of your father's few misses."

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW? IT'S GREAT – THE BEST!"

Itachi smirked. "Perhaps compared to your band's new single."

Naruto reeled back as if the other man had slapped him, though he had prepped himself that they were the words he wanted to hear. Wounded, he growled like a fox, "I, I wrote the lyrics of that song. It topped Oricon charts!"

"So I've heard…"

Itachi grabbed the boy's wrist, hard, so the other relaxed his grip with a cry, his voice ringing with surprised pain. A sensual, needy pain.

"Your voice is fantastic, Naruto. Glorious," Itachi whispered. "But you are too immature to be a composer yet."

Naruto felt something inside him snap when he heard those words. He stared at Itachi, who looked identical to a grownup version of Sasuke, and met his gorgeous crimson eyes that were just as the song described them. Cursed and filled with broken dreams. Then, the Dead Last vocal started to laugh, maniacally. He laughed and laughed and laughed until he felt tears come to his eyes. Then, Naruto doubled over on Itachi's desk, crying at the top of his lungs.

"I'm trying hard," the blond wailed. "I really am. I want to be good. I want to be great. It's just… really hard."

Itachi laid a hand on Naruto's head. "I know. I know."

It was a long time until Naruto stopped crying. When he did, he crawled off Itachi's desk and briskly tossed his parents' CD into the trashcan. Watching him, the older Uchiha's face lightened in satisfaction.

"Don't be afraid of your parents. You can overcome them. You can be greater. Give yourself time to grow as a musician."

Naruto looked up at Itachi's gorgeous crimson eyes once more and loved, for the first time, his own pained reflection glistening in them.

* * *

Never had Temari thought of Naruto as a man. From the moment the yellow ball of fire angrily stomped into her life, he had been one of her brothers. Dancing and screaming with him at a rock concert, watching him cry over the death of his parents and feeling her own heart break, scolding him and Kankuro for hiding porn in obvious places, putting a blanket over him and Gaara sleeping on the living room sofa, Temari had loved the dobe like family.

But, for the first time since knowing Uzumaki Naruto, she thought: Naruto had become a man.

He barely showed up in time for the photo shoot that day, and Temari was having a nervous breakdown – nervously breaking everything and everyone in sight. Even Shikamaru had given up on trying to calm her down, and had retreated to the makeup room to avoid her wrath. But Naruto breezed in without a word of apology, and then the whole set had changed. Makeup and costumes were done in a breeze; half the staff had half a crush on him, anyway. He had brought along a book for the waiting Kakashi, albeit NC-17, and the latest fashion magazine for Iruka. During the shoot, he was the charismatic center of every photo, his expressions poignant, his very aura commanding, and even the grumpy photographer seemed not to be able to get enough of the vocalist, apparently having forgotten that Naruto was the one late in the first place. The blond also put his teammates at ease, joking about being hung over after Kankuro's.

When he finally came over to Temari and asked for the week's schedule as though nothing was wrong, that's when she thought for a split second that, yes, Naruto had grown up.

"What's with you today?" she demanded, raising an eyebrow. "You are being awfully professional. What? Not gonna give me crap about these photos being for a girls' magazine and not some music review?"

Naruto gave her a sly wink. "What? You want me to give you crap?"

Temari folded her arms over her ample bosom and glowered. "Don't fuck with me and tell me what you are up to, Naruto."

"What? I can't be in a good mood?" The blond grinned his trademark feline grin. "I guess I'm coming to terms with the fact I have to do some tap dancing to be able to stay in this business, all right? I still have a long way to go."

"How did this awakening _happen_?" Temari asked, not hiding her surprise. "Being in love has this many positive side effects?"

"In love?" Naruto cracked up. "I said I was in a good mood!"

"Good mood. Change of attitude. Maturing overnight. Sounds like dictionary definition of love to me." Temari's big sister's instincts kicked in and she teased, "Neeeeee, Ino treating you okaaaaaaay?"

Naruto jerked up. "Ino sempai? Ohmigawd, I forgot all about Ino sempai!"

"What? There's someone else?" the publicity manager groaned. "Ruto, Ruto, c'mon. Go easy on me; I'm the one that has to deal with the psycho press. Well, who is it? That girl you ran off with that day? What's her name? Sasuko or whatever?"

Before Naruto could answer, Shikamaru walked over, "What's going on? Did Naruto do something again?"

His fiancé stamped her feet. "He's swapping horses in the middle of the river."

"Huh?"

Temari pouted. "I said, Naruto has a new flame. He's not telling me who."

"I am not in love, I didn't say love…"

Despite the blond's protests, they were instantly joined by Kiba, Chouji, Kakashi, and Iruka, all speaking at once with their eyes shining in curiosity.

Kiba collared a sheepishly grinning Naruto and shook him. "It better not be Hinata-san. Leave pure Hinata-san alone and stick your dick in something else, you manwhore."

"Ino lasted quite a while for you, man," Chouji put in. "Lost money to Kiba saying it'd only last a month and it's been over three months. Your all time record."

"Naruto, you can come to me _anytime _to ask about technique." Kakashi indicated his book. "As your sempai in life, I will not abandon you."

"I already thought up couple outfits for you and Ino to wear in your next interview." Iruka sighed. "Tell me the new girl's blonde too. Or at least that's she has the same skin tone."

"If, if this is love then I…" Naruto cocked his head to one side and said in innocent surprise, "I think I'm gay."

The stunned reception was interrupted by Temari breaking out into insane laughter and thumping her chest in maniac victory. "OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Shikamaru restrained his obviously crazed fiancé as everyone took a step away from her. "Okay, why does this news make you so happy Tem?"

"I'm just _relieved_. And here I thought this scandal would hurt business, but Naruto being gay? Why didn't I think of it myself? It's beautiful! It means _big bucks _with fangirls…" Temari trailed off suddenly and paled. "Unless... _is he ugly_? FUGLY? Oh no! Damnit, I'll kill you if he's fugly, so spit it out truthfully!"

"Bet that really will make him want to speak truthfully," Kiba said dryly, glad it wasn't Hinata because, cough, Hinata was _the_ girl among girls.

"Technically, aren't you bi?" Chouji said. "I mean, you seemed to like girls well enough before. In fact, you liked three girls at once that time we went to Osaka…" the drummer trailed off as Temari's paleness turned angry crimson. "And by 'like' I mean, you played checkers into the night with three girls that time in Osaka."

Naruto shook his head. "It's different now. What does sex have to do with anything? Heck, I won't have sex unless he wants to."

Even Shikamaru did a double take. "Holy shit!"

"You are an alien that infested Naruto's body!" Kiba accused. "And took over his dick!"

"Where did you put the real Naruto, alien freak?" Chouji demanded.

"What are you going to do with that rumored inhuman stamina of yours then?" Temari wondered out loud, practical as always.

"His penis will internally combust," Kakashi answered sagely, the same time Iruka said, "He will go to a temple and die."

Naruto sulked. "Look, I wasn't that much of a playboy, all right?"

That got a hooting reception.

Naruto puffed out his cheeks. "Ino's my first girlfriend since I joined, isn't she?"

"Yeah, but that just makes things worse," Chouji cracked.

"Playing checkers with a bunch of girls who aren't even your girlfriends… shame on you," Kiba agreed.

Finally, Shikamaru recovered enough from laughing to ask through gasps, "Well, who is it? Your new precious person?"

As Naruto turned bright red, Kakashi said, "All things considered, it's me since… only I'm capable of causing such a drastic change of sexual orientation. I'm afraid I am a man of many sins. Woe is my sexiness."

Iruka clucked his tongue. "Naruto has taste and good sense. So I bet it's me."

Kiba rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. "Sorry, Ruto, I like girls myself. But you can hang around if you want. We'll be good friends."

Chouji flexed his muscles. "I guess it doesn't bother me, since sex won't be part of it. C'mere, old boy."

Temari stubbornly pushed a resisting Shikamaru forward. "Idiots. Obviously, it's my fiancé because he's that hot. Is it Shikamaru, Naruto?"

The cameraman appeared behind them, saying hopefully, "Maybe it's me?"

Temari's eyes narrowed. "As long as it's not the camera guy, we are good. We'll sell lots of nice doujinshi. So… Naruto?"

Naruto shook his head and laughed. "I want him to be the first to know, in any case. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go talk things over with Ino sempai."

Watching the vocalist head out, Temari nudged a surprised Shikamaru and said, "Hey, you think it's serious this time?"

Shikamaru shrugged, a little worried.

* * *

Naruto met Ino in an abandoned park near her house. She took the news of his coming out better than most girlfriends might have: she simply punched her rock star lover in the face, kneed his jaw, finger-hooked his nostrils, tripped him, and bit his leg until he cried uncle. Then Konoha's Madonna burst into tears against her bruised and beaten ex-boyfriend, weeping girlishly, "No, don't leave me! You said you loved me, you traitor!"

For his part, the _Dead Last _vocalist patted her back comfortingly and said sorry over and over again. Finally, when her crying died down, he said through his thick lip, "I'm doing a terrible thing to you, sempai. I… I don't think I've really been in love before, so I didn't know what an awful thing I was doing by asking you out with… with my shitty reasons. Thinking you'd replace someone else."

Ino reached around her neck to undo Naruto's jade necklace. "I guess you want this back to give to your new beau, huh?"

"Of course not. You keep it." The look in Naruto's eyes that moment made Ino's heart skip a beat. "You rescued me from me, and for that I'll be grateful to you always."

They sat in each other's company for a long time after that. "Ne… is he… the guy… related to Sasuke-chan?"

Naruto flailed around in a way that made his answer all too obvious in Ino's eyes. "How do you know that?"

"Call it a woman's intuition," the blonde girl said dryly. "I ran into him the other day; he seemed to like you too."

The vocalist shook his head furiously. "There's no way. He sees right through me. Why would he bother with some idiot like me?"

"Wow, for a rock star, you sure have self-confidence issues." Ino sighed. "Fine, I'll settle for being your go-to person for relationship advice, so…"

She looked into Naruto's beautiful blue eyes and, for the first time, her voice shook.

"Please think of me preciously still."

At that, Naruto hugged Ino tightly. "I am sorry. I am sorry I hurt you."

The proud Ino let herself be held like a close friend and said, half-laughing, half-sobbing, "You… you should still give me front row tickets for your concerts?"

"Promise."

"For my friends too…?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, then. I guess. Okay, then."

* * *

Naruto entered his apartment for the first time in three days. The day before, he had invited Ino over to Kankuro's for a private party and drowned out his step-brother's hitting on his ex-girlfriend by sprouting his in-the-closet issues (with the help of vodka and apple juice, once again) and soundly putting them both to sleep. Then Naruto had skipped school for one more day, singing all day in a low profile karaoke shop, remembering but not regretting his parents' CD and remembering and regretting very much Itachi-san's smile. It felt different singing when your heart was breaking. And, for the first time in his life, the Dead Last vocalist's heart was breaking. He had lost his parents, and with them he had lost his ability to value himself. With them, he had lost his ability to love from the bottom of the heart and only sought the comfort of owning things and winning things.

But now Naruto had the ability to love fully, and it wasn't a happy change. It hurt, loving someone. It hurt because, for the first time, Naruto wasn't scared of what he might really be worth. He was scared he might not know the value of someone else, and hurt them too with his ignorance.

And, in his new hurt, his voice came out all pretty and strong and like his father's.

When the blond opened the door to his apartment, Sasuke was sitting on the sofa without a single light on. He didn't greet the dobe, only shutting off the stereo that had been playing Naruto's latest song, the one that the vocalist himself had composed, the one that'd topped Oricon charts and the one that Itachi-san had disliked.

"We all know you're emo, Sasuke," Naruto joked lightly, heading for the kitchen for something to drink. "You don't have to advertise it by making our apartment a creepy tomb."

"Is it our apartment, dobe?" was the resentful reply. "When you're troubled, you abandon it and don't come back home. How is it ours, then?"

"Don't lecture me." The blond came back and sat on the sofa, throwing Sasuke a beer and opening one for himself. "I have no voice for that today. Sang myself hoarse, sempai."

The raven-haired boy set the can on the coffee table. "Were you at Ino's for the past three nights?"

Naruto chugged the can and crushed it in his hand before taking up Sasuke's discarded beer. The Uchiha intercepted him, and used his hold on the dobe's arm to pull the smaller boy towards him for a kiss. Naruto averted his head.

Looking down at his lap, the blond whispered thickly, "I broke up with Ino sempai."

Uchiha Sasuke had been spitting mad at the usuratonkachi for avoiding him and had made up his mind to unleash a silent fury on Naruto once he returned (silent fury included angry sex, obviously). Only those words could have melted that anger, and the dobe had said them. I broke up with Ino sempai. I like you, so I broke up with Ino sempai…

Sasuke embraced Naruto, so close that he could feel the dobe's heartbeat against his own chest, hear the husky breathes in his ear, smell the scent of the city off the blond's hair. Sasuke's hand forced under Naruto's shirt, fingering the smooth muscles in the vocalist's back, the slick shoulder blades. And it was in that pose that the vocalist spoke, calmly despite the presence of the Uchiha's growing erection prodding his thigh, "I broke up with Ino sempai because I am in love with a guy."

Those words sealed that perfect moment. A practically giddy Sasuke, so glad after his three days of turmoil, leaned into kiss his uke, but once more Naruto averted his head.

"I am in love with a guy who isn't you, Sasuke sempai."

The two boys faced each other, one frozen in surprise that hadn't quite sunk in and the other in quiet determination. They sat that way for a long time, until finally, they were interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. Naruto rose to answer it, leaving the Uchiha still silent in his shock.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were in – woah woah woah!"

There was a huge crash from the doorway. Sasuke rose, almost zombie like, to see what more could possibly happen in this awful nightmare of his. Because, it had to be a nightmare. After Ino, not again, not this bullshit again… But by Murphy's law, he found Naruto sprawled on the floor with a tall willowy stranger wearing a heavy black coat snoozing on top of his chest.

"Are you stoned? Get up, jackass!" The usuratonkachi, obviously familiar with him, grabbed the stranger's shoulders and shook him until the thick felt hat and dark glasses fell off, revealing red, red hair and black, black eyeliner.

The stranger fluttered his long black lashes and Sasuke saw a flash of the greenest eyes he'd ever seen.

Gaara yawned and said in a deep, ringing voice, "I am home, Naruto."

* * *

_Author's Note:_ Remember to leave me any comments, questions, or suggestions. You can also catch me on Yahoo chat if you've emailed me there before. Like last time, way back when, I'll include a couple of reviews in my next chapter to be discussed (coughmoreliketornapartcough) by the Dead Last cast, so please leave some words!


	12. Gaara Returns

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is drawn and written by a fantastically splendid, wonderfully cute, and very talented manga artist: the Masashi Kishimoto. (And Kishimoto-san, if you are, by the slimmest chance, reading this and somehow understanding the English, please elope with me; I will bring the bags of onigiri.)

**Chapter Rating: **PG-13 (the forecast: naughty all day)

**Author's Note:** So we are back to a mainly Sasuke centered POV. Some of you were shocked by Naruto's loose morals in the previous chapter, but I found it fitting for this storyline. The thing about characterization in fanfics that is both fun and hard is thinking about how the character would be/act in the given predicament, some of which would never ever happen in the manga (ahem, seifuuku skirt for Sasuke). Naruto of Dead Last, the fic and the band, feels overshadowed by his musician parents like Sasuke does about Itachi and has an inferiority complex that has him act out (i.e., he calls it his demon), which isn't going to go away overnight; in this fanfic, Sasuke is coming to terms with Naruto's brooding, not the other way around for once.

And, c'mon guys! If you've read to chapter twelve of this story and/or any of my others, when DON'T I pull some crazy stuff? So for the few of you who were implying I forgot my own story (which, in all honesty, kinda hurts), rest assured: it'll get worse before it gets better, but it will get better because I planned (do I really want to use that word?) out _Dead Last _pretty meticulously and have not forgotten anything. So hold your horses and try to enjoy the ride, there will be romance and there will be SasuNaru. Same goes for those of you who were worried about Konan x Naruto; that's just a joke because the pairing for that story hasn't been revealed yet and people speculate (wrongly) when I have any name up alongside Naruto's. Naruto is obviously not going to end up with Konan (though I personally love Konan with her blue eyeshadow… (cries)).

Hope that clears up some confusion for at least some of my lovely reviewers. If not, I love it when you write me or review, so please please do so and we can be friends or just chichat. Anyway, on with the story!

**Character Sketch: **Since it's been awhile, a reviewer and friend emailed me about doing a Dead Last character sketch for everyone like they do in mangas. That sounded fun (what other reason compels me to do something, other than solid reviews?), so here it is for those of you who need it. For those of you who don't, just skip it and move on!

_Uchiha dojo's heir Uchiha Sasuke_: 2nd year high school student. Smart, strong, handsome, and rich, but a misogynist fated to cross-dress on an awkward bet with his hated father. He falls in love (and lust?) at first sight with Uzumaki Naruto, but struggles with the fact that his should-be-perfect-idol and love-interest seems to love everyone _but _Sasuke himself.

_Uchiha dojo's master Uchiha Itachi_: The leader of the famous and illustrious Uchiha dojo. He has a mysterious bond with Namikaze Minato, Naruto's father, and yearns for him more than his deceased wife, who he only married to uphold the Uchiha name. A fan of _Dead Last _and Naruto.

_Dead Last's vocalist Uzumaki Naruto_: 1st year high school student and, to quote Ino, "the most desired piece of ass in Konoha". Since the death of his parents, he struggles with an inferiority complex which manifests in his wanting only what he can't have. He feels he lives in the shadow of his father and fellow bandmates (esp. Shikamaru), and detests his own popularity because he believes it is wholly undeserved.

_Dead Last's guitarist Nara Shikamaru_: Genius guitarist who seems to have figured out the hardships his friend Naruto lives with but wants to keep hidden. He is engaged to Naruto's childhood crush and former love interest, Temari, causing an unspoken tension between in the band.

_Dead Last's bassist Inuzuka Kiba_: Energetic bassist with a very obvious crush on Hyuuga Hinata. He tries (but fails) to tiptoe around this issue, because Hinata is a well-bred lady and a self-proclaimed Naruto fan.

_Dead Last's drummer Akimichi Chouji_: Powerful drummer who seems to best cope with the relationship drama of his bandmates, thanks to his laidback personality. He is friendly with Naruto's high schoolmates, Sakura and Hinata.

_Dead Last's manager Hatake Kakashi_: Manager/ninja/lawyer/sexual instructor(?) of _Dead Last. _Has made Iruka pay for all of _Dead Last_'s eating out with his advanced acting skills.

_Dead Last's fashion coordinator Umino Iruka_: Talented fashion coordinator of _Dead Last_, responsible for much of their popularity with his eccentric fashion sense. He especially loves dressing up Naruto (in his words: "the hanger is too delish"). But for some reason, he stills seems to have bad bank credits…

_Sabakuno family's PR and queen Temari_: The bossy and hostile PR of _Dead Last _and Shikamaru's fiancé. She would literally kill if it meant _Dead Last _got some added popularity. She knows a lot of talented musicians who didn't make it because of lack of spotlight, and is hell bent on making sure _Dead Last _does not join those ranks. Temari is overly protective of the band and her brothers.

_Sabakuno family's CEO and playboy Kankuro_: The CEO of his family's production company, Kankuro mostly leaves the work to his sister Temari and spends his time playing golf and girls. Still, he is a father figure without much complaint to his hotter brothers, Gaara and Naruto, and is also popular with the members of _Dead Last _for his generosity with alcohol and his Wii.

_Sabakuno family's supermodel Gaara_: Japan's hottest model currently active abroad in Europe. Gaara is permanently jetlagged and prone to falling asleep anywhere and at anytime. He is obsessed with his adopted brother Naruto, who is a year older than he is.

_Konoha High's most popular girl Yamanaka Ino_: Shikamaru's fan and Naruto's ex-girlfriend, Ino is the first of her friends to understand Naruto's inferiority complex. That, and her reminding the blond of his former love interest Temari, is why Naruto asks her out and dates her for longer than he's dated anyone before (shocking his bandmates). Though they've currently broken up, Ino and Naruto remain on close terms.

_Konoha High's brain Haruno Sakura_: Naruto's fan, Sasuke's rival in grades, and Ino's on and off best friend. Though she meticulously keeps on top of all the latest _Dead Last _news, she finds herself overshadowed in Naruto's eyes by Ino (who isn't even Naruto's fan!) and Sasuke (who she converted to _Dead Last_ in the first place!). However, despite all her fuss, she genuinely cares for her girlfriends (inc. Sasuke) and for Naruto.

_Konoha High's billionaire heiress Hyuuga Hinata_: Naruto's fan and Kiba's love interest. Cute, sweet, and shy, Hinata is the classic Yamato Nadeshiko type that boys who like "pure" girls fall over themselves to "protect". Though she is happy to receive Kiba's friendly gestures, she constantly worries about her overprotective cousin Neji onii-sama.

_Baaba_: A mysterious and beautiful woman who makes ramen.

**My E-mail:** rosesareblue at ymail dot com (Write me with any comments, questions, or suggestions. Remember, there's nothing like feedback that improves an author's moral/writing and keeps the chapters coming.)

**/ Dead / Last /**

**By Rosesareblue**

_Chapter Twelve: Gaara Returns_

At school the next day, Sakura grabbed Sasuke and jerked him to her and Hinata's hiding place below the stairs. The Uchiha glowered at her, surreptitiously straightening her ponytail wig.

"What is _that_ with Naru-chan?" the green-eyed girl shrilled, growing as pink as her hair. "A sex god? An angel of female erotic fantasy? My wet dreams come to life? What what what?"

Before Sasuke could silence her irritating friend with a fitting feminine reply (a.k.a. bitch slap her until she shut up), Hinata spoke soothingly, "Gaara… Naruto's cousin… is not in… Europe?"

"He came back to Japan last night," the Uchiha all but growled, deathly quiet, his temper very much on edge. Gaara had appeared in the wake of Naruto's confession (a confession that had once again ripped the Uchiha's mending heart to shreds, so small that they could probably never be pieced together again) and had preceded to strip off his clothes for a bath. The eyebrow-less freak owned more black clothes than Sasuke himself, because he whipped out a black bathrobe that, and here was the kicker, HE NEVER BOTHERED TO TIE CLOSED. Instead, he had wandered around the apartment flashing his impressive junk and moaning the vocalist's full name, always his full name, until Naruto had shoved his stepbrother into the bath and scrubbed him clean himself. Then, Sasuke had run into the redhead in the middle of the night, when the Uchiha had been trying to catch the dobe alone for a much needed confrontation (one that involved Sasuke's literally screwing some more details out of the treacherous usuratonkachi). Gaara had been in a pair of black boxers, and had asked, very politely, in German, why the door to Naruto's bedroom was BOLTED LOCKED.

The one and only consolation was the fact that Gaara didn't seem to be Naruto-that-manwhore's new beau because the blond had refused/flicked off the redhead's offer that morning during breakfast to feed him his miso soup mouth-to-mouth (supposedly, European style? They had miso soup there?).

But Haruno Sakura knew none of that and instead saw the flawless skin like milk, the eerie glow of vivid green eyes, and the sexy black of the supermodel's eyeliner and the blood red of his tattoo. Combine that with the fact that Gaara was always seen hanging on the arm of _that _Uzumaki Naruto (whose hotness had already been set in stone by fangirls, and not figuratively speaking either) and never heard speaking but only breathing into _that _Naruto's golden hair, the sight was too delicious for a sane fangirl (oxymoron) to look upon without OMFG-ing all over the place. Actually, the only reason the two stepbrothers hadn't been swarmed by a horny female mob was because half the school was quarantined in the infirmary, having been carried out bleeding to death from their nostrils…

"Last… night?" Hinata blinked. "Sasuke-san…? How do you… know what happened… with Naruto-sama… last night?"

Being an Uchiha, she didn't even flinch under the white-eyed girl's mournful stare and Sakura's suddenly accusing look of death. Instead, Sasuke scoffed in a bored voice, "The dobe texted me about it."

The two girls pouted. "Oh."

The raven-haired girl changed the subject. "I heard Naruto and Ino broke up."

"Ohmigawsh, you don't say! Poor Ino, that sweet sweet thing!" Sakura crowed, jumping into the air with her arms in a cheerleading V for Victory.

"I can't believe… Naruto-sama would… do such a thing…" Hinata said, but even she was smiling glitters and rainbows.

Both girls were karate chopped on the head by Ino appearing behind them.

"Isn't it enough that half the school is patting me on the back and saying 'Thank you very much for being dumped'? Huh? Is this what girls' friendships are worth?" the pretty blond gritted out. "It just crumbles in the wake of a cute guy?"

"Of… of course not…" Hinata started, blushing.

"Nonsense, Ino," Sakura wrapped her arm around her best-friend-again. "It just crumbles in the wake of, um, hello? Dead Last vocal? Uzumaki Naruto?"

Hinata bobbed her head cutely, hugging Ino's waist. "The sheer level… of cuteness… is very different…"

"You three disgust me," Ino griped, but accepted the two girls' embraces. At Sasuke's grudging nod of acknowledgement, the blonde tossed her ponytail and said, "I was dumped for your cousin or whatever, Sasuke-chan. The hot guy that lives with 'Ruto. So treat me to pudding afterschool today, ne?"

The Uchiha raised her eyebrows. "I doubt it. No."

Three questions were asked at once:

"YOU HAVE A HOT COUSIN AND YOU DIDN'T INTRODUCE US?" (Haruno Sakura, more alarmed by this than the fact that Naruto-chan might be gay, since that picture had been proven to look very very good by one Sabakuno Gaara.)

"How… how do you… know that…?" (Hyuuga Hinata, very much disliking this too-close-for-comfort texting relationship between Sasuke-san and Naruto-sama.)

"How can you be sure? I thought Naruto was talking about his roommate…" (Yamanaka Ino, glad to be among her girls again and on top of it when it came to serious girl-talk (aka gossip.))

Sasuke ignored the first two questions and turned to Ino, "What did he say about him?"

Ino shrugged. "Just that…"

"INOOOO SEMPAAAAAI!"

Her words were cut off by Naruto coming down the stairs, practically dragging along a dozing Gaara whose hands were at the blond's hips. As Sakura and Hinata took out their phones to, um, take pictures of the wall behind Naruto? Sasuke glared at the redhead with the Uchiha Glare™.

Unmindful of all this, the dobe fished out four tickets from his pocket and bubbled out, "TADA! Applause are welcome! These are tickets to the next Dead Last concert for you and Sasuke sempai and Hinata sempai and Sakura sempai. No seats, this time, we are performing at a tiny little live house downtown so come early, ne? Oh, this is my brother, Gaara. Wake up, jackass! It's lunch already!"

Gaara lifted his head sleepily from Naruto's shoulders and smiled. The three non-cross-dressing females saw white doves and heard wedding bells in that smile, blushing accordingly. The one cross-dressing male's eyes kept darting to the hand on Naruto's hips. Noticing this and the familiar face, the redhead yawned and stalked over to Sasuke.

Then did something that surprised even Naruto.

Gaara poked Sasuke in the boob. And smirked.

"Gaaaaaah, Gaara, whaccha doing?" the Dead Last vocal thundered, before his brother could give away the secret of padding to the gaping schoolgirls. He grabbed the redhead by the collar and yanked him off to their first year classroom at the speed of a fangirl going towards the one remaining CD.

Sakura patted a turned-to-stone Sasuke on the back. "I don't know if I feel sorry for you or if I'm jealous that you were sexually harassed…"

"Gaara-san… seems to… like you…" Hinata said carefully, "A… part of you… anyway…"

Ino giggled. "Maybe that's how they say hello in Europe?"

Sasuke, recovering, clenched his fist and put it through the stone stairs. That eyebrow-less sonuvabitch. How dare he upset the ultra expensive gelatin padding…!

* * *

Hinata jumped when her cell phone burst into song: "I breathe your words and / make your smile my silence." And though the white-eyed girl hated interrupting Naruto-sama's voice, a dilemma she ran into every time someone called her, she should answer… what if it was Neji onii-sama and he sent the Hyuuga private police force out looking for her like that one time she had her phone on vibrate (not that she ever did, except during Naruto-sama's concerts).

"He…hello?" the dark-haired girl whispered, smiling reassuringly at her driver who was keeping a close watch on her through the rearview mirror.

"Hinata-chan!" a familiar voice crowed. "How've you been? Okay? Better than okay? Really okay? Aaagh, shut up me and let her answer…"

Hinata giggled, "Kiba-san. I am… fine. How are… you?"

"Good, great, terrific!" the bassist barked out. "Listen, can you talk? Or are you busy? I can call back if you are busy. In ten minutes? Thirty? Tomorrow?"

Hinata giggled again. "No… I can talk… what is… happening?"

"So, like, 'Ruto gave you tickets to our live house gig, right? After that, see, there's this dinner at, uh, you know that one freaky scary manager? Her family owns the company that sponsors us and her super famous brother is in town so there's this private party at a really fancy restaurant downtown, though I'm sure you are used to better but like, if, if, if you want to go, you can come with… with… Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention, uh, um, so the band can bring one guest each since it's like a private party and all so, if you want, I could, um, I could take you… if you wanted… um, Naruto's coming?"

"I would… love to go… with you… Kiba-san." Hinata smiled into her phone. "Thank you… for being so… kind to me…"

"Really? Wow, really? Okay, so, we'll pick you up after the concert and… really? You want to go with me?"

The bassist babbled, not aware of the shy girl's quiet smile and the hard eyes of the driver that watched the heiress worriedly.

* * *

Sakura was trying to re-hang her Dead Last poster (it had been off by a two degree angle that pissed the pink-haired girl off to no end) when her cell phone exploded into one of her favorite songs "Konoha": "The leaf dances in flames / and our eternity begins now." The pink-haired girl hopped off her desk and swept up her phone, snapping into it, "Okay, whoever you are, you are responsible for Nat-chan not being perfectly aligned with my calendar. How are you going to pay me back?"

There was a long pause before a masculine voice chuckled and said, "This is Chouji."

"O-oh…" Sakura flushed and spoke again in a more girlish voice. "I mean, good day to you? Hee hee?"

Chouji laughed again. "I think Kiba's inviting your friend Hinata to the company dinner after the live. Come dressed in loose clothes so you can eat a shit ton of food and I'll take you with us. We're allowed to bring one guest each, so not all of you can go with Naruto, right?"

Sakura plopped down on her bed and looked at her bedside photo of Naruto. In it, he was wearing his school uniform and grinning like he couldn't be any happier at… was it Ino-pig or Sasuke-chan? But Sakura had taken the picture, and the blonde had willingly signed it, complete with a big heart. One of the green-eyed girl's greatest treasures. And not just because Nat-chan was her idol, but her good friend.

"Hello? You wanna go?" Chouji asked on the other line.

"Of course!" Sakura replied. "Ne, but who is Nat-chan going with? I heard he broke up with Ino-p… Ino."

She could practically hear Chouji shrug his powerful shoulders. "I'm betting on Uchiha Sasuke. Or…"

"Or?" Sakura prodded.

"Or someone else," the drummer said sheepishly. "Look, um, tell your friend Ino not to take what happened too personally. Tell her, Naruto's dumb and not always as… happy as he seems. He hides his real feelings too much, even from us, and is so good at hiding them he sometimes believes they're true himself. If he acts carelessly, it's because he's too busy pretending, you know? He doesn't hurt others on purpose. He'd never do that."

Sakura didn't like what she heard, about her favorite vocalist pretending or hiding. His own bandmate accusing her idol of something like that hurt her, not Naruto himself.

At last, the pink-haired girl said, "I guess I don't really understand."

"Neither does Uchiha Sasuke."

"What does Sasuke-chan have to do with anything?"

Chouji sighed. "Never mind Sasuke. Just tell Ino what I said. Tell your friend, from Naruto's friend."

Sakura smiled. "I can do that. So what are you going to do about my crooked poster, Mister Naruto's Friend? Maybe give me some free concert stuff you have lying around?"

The drummer snorted, relaxing at the pink-haired girl's giggle. "Nothing's free, huh? Sure."

* * *

Ino swept the floor of her family's flower shop. She was throwing away the trash when she heard her cell phone play the song that Naruto composed: "You guess our last goodbye / that's why you don't cry please."

"I have to change my stupid ringtone. To something happy," the busty girl muttered, before opening her phone and sighing, "It's Ino."

"Your phone voice is sexy too."

Konoha High School's most popular girl was used to the pathetic stalker, long before she had started going out with Naruto and getting even more spotlight. Her voice became as hard as steel, "I don't care if you are the vocalist of a rival band whose music, um, SUCKS in comparison. Because I fucked Naruto, does not mean I want to fuck you with your peanut like penis and ego so if you will please hang up and go jump off a cliff…"

"Whoa, whoa, this is Kankuro."

Ino blinked at the slightly familiar name. "Do I know you?"

"I'm Naruto's older stepbrother. Remember, you crashed at my place once?"

"Oh! Right." Ino remembered the rugged brunet in the Italian dress shirt, offering her a martini, which she'd really liked. She leaned on the counter and asked curiously, "So… what do you want?"

"To finish hitting on you when 'Ruto's not interrupting about some gay dude," was the easy confident reply.

Ino rolled her eyes. "No offense, but I don't do the whole dating brothers thing. To me, that's not sexy. It's just awkward."

"We aren't even legally brothers," Kankuro protested. "Naruto has a godfather who is technically his legal guardian."

"Fine," Ino conceded. "Then it's only non-technically awkward but still awkward."

"You haven't even heard me out. I'm inviting you to a company dinner. _Dead Last_ is coming," Kankuro said.

The blond girl shrugged. "I'll go with Naruto then."

"They are only bringing one guest each." Snickering. "Who says 'Ruto will invite his ex and not his new mancrush? In fact, 'Ruto came to borrow my cologne today, which is really strange; he might be off asking his date out right now and I'm guessing he's not over at your place?"

Ino pouted and simultaneously broke a pen lying on the countertop. "Okay, you jerk. Get us seats near 'Ruto and his date so I can scope out this guy and see if he is ebil or not."

"Done. So I'll pick you up before?" Kankuro said.

"After the concert, please," Ino said sweetly.

* * *

At his record store job, Sasuke mechanically shifted through the CDs, thinking over and over again like a broken music player repeating one tired thread of a song: He was in love with an idol, who knew him from before all the fame and fortune. He had the key to said idol Naruto's apartment. He had slept in Naruto's bed. Fuck, he had slept in _Naruto_. The only thing not making this a modern day fairy tale was that Naruto wasn't in love with Sasuke. But _Uchiha_ Sasuke was in love with Naruto. He had the key to his apartment…

He didn't know that the music playing was from his cell phone until the third repetition of: "Your every day is of lies / so reality seems false."

The raven-haired boy flipped open his cell and barked into it: "Who the hell are you and how the fuck do you know my number?"

"Shikamaru. _Kitsune_ registry. I am in the silver Nissan near the back entrance of your store."

Sasuke shrugged (it wasn't like he was dealing with Naruto or anything). "What do you want?"

The equally unfazed voice replied, "It's about Naruto."

"Wait."

In a matter of seconds Sasuke had taken off his work apron and was heading to tell his boss that his pet turtle had been eaten by his pet snake that had been rolled over by a steamroller driven by his grandmother who hurt her hip in the accident. A normal "family emergency".

* * *

With a furtive glance around for prying eyes, Sasuke slid into the leather seats of Shikamaru's car and smoothed out his school uniform skirt. For his part, the guitarist wordlessly drove them to a secluded riverside; no one was out walking because the evening was too cold.

"What do you want?" the raven-haired boy finally said in a low even voice.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "There's no reason to be so hostile…"

"Get to the point. About Naruto," Sasuke demanded. He wanted to go home soon, not wanting to leave _that _Gaara of open bathrobes alone with _that _usuratonkachi of open brain valves.

"You can take off your wig if you want. Get comfortable, this might take a while."

If Sasuke was surprised, he didn't show it. With as much dignity a boy caught cross-dressing can have, he shrugged off his wig and glared at the brunet sitting next to him with messy black hair. "Did the blabbermouth dobe tell you about my secret?"

"I found out myself. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." Shikamaru handed the taller boy a manila envelope. "You're Uchiha Sasuke. Uchiha Itachi's son, right?"

At his father's name, Sasuke's eyes glowed a dark red that threw even Shikamaru off. "Yeah, what about it?"

The guitarist said seriously, "I thought the name sounded familiar and did research, troublesome research…"

Sasuke, pulling out the contents of the envelope, saw the answer for himself.

Shikamaru put it into words: "Itachi is Naruto's godfather. When Naruto's parents passed away, Naruto was taken in by my fiancé's family… but his legal guardian still remains your father. I mean, it's just a technical annoyance, the usual red tape, but I thought you should be aware of it before you start anything serious with 'Ruto. The fact that you're legally brothers."

Sasuke had to laugh at that, a harsh laugh that didn't reach his eyes that flickered red to black, red to black.

"Start anything serious with that dobe? Don't fucking kid me," the raven haired boy hissed. "I thought I was getting closer to that complete idiot, but every time I think I'm getting close, he slips away even further. So I'm playing the fool's fool, the idiot's idiot. And I don't like it."

Shikamaru looked at the seething boy next to him, deep in thought. Sasuke's anger reminded him of Naruto's; the two were alike, somehow, but the guitarist couldn't quite grasp it. So he chose his words carefully.

"Naruto talks about you during practice. That's how we all knew your name before we met you. Naruto never talks about anything but music during practice – he didn't mention Ino's name once, not even while they were dating, which really lasted awhile for him – but he talks of you. Then and now. Why?"

Sasuke balled up the legal papers in his large white hand and let it drop to the car floor. "Because we are both caught up in this net of fucking coincidences, collisions, accidents, whatever you want to call it, that all turn out to mean nothing. Maybe you should be talking to Gaara about the dobe."

"Gaara always had a thing for Naruto, everyone knows that; but why is 'Ruto acting strangely now?" Shikamaru said, more to himself than to his companion.

"I don't know any more about the usuratonkachi than you do," Sasuke growled, retreating into stony silence. "Maybe even less."

"I guess you are right…"

The genius guitarist looked out across the river, watching the first drops of a rain storm hit it before the pouring started. Finally, he said over the noise of relentless pitter patter, "There's a company dinner after the concert. We are allowed to bring one guest. If Naruto doesn't invite you, he'll come with whoever he claims to be in love with."

"So?"

"Come with me to it."

Sasuke snorted. "Your bitchy fiancé is going to love that idea."

"One, don't call her bitchy. Two, Tem's hosting the party, so we aren't going together."

"Why do you care about me and the dobe?" Sasuke hissed.

"Not about you. I don't know you. I do know that loud dumbass and care about him, annoyingly enough," was Shikamaru's answer. "I want him to be happy. For once, I want him to be happy in love."

* * *

Shivering violently, Naruto wiped away at his dripping hair that felt plastered to his forehead and paced the front of the Uchiha dojo. The maids, all frightened of the stranger in a trench coat and shades, had cowered at his demand to see their master and had remained silent (after all, what do you say to a potential flasher?). Finally, one of the maids from before recognized the ill-fitting clothes and faked accent and let Naruto wait in Itachi's office. The dojo master was away on a business trip to Fukuoka and would be returning home late that night. Naruto had sat in Itachi's chair, smelling the rich leather, and touched Itachi's pens, books, papers… but with his own poster watching him, the room felt wrong.

So the dobe had opted for waiting outside. Then the sudden rain. Then his feeling pathetic, for not having asked Itachi-san for his cell phone number in the first place. Then his feeling even more pathetic, imagining Itachi-san scoffing at coming to any concert of his when he'd known his father's. With how limited the tickets for the live house concert had been, the vocalist himself couldn't secure more than the four tickets he'd given Ino sempai. But, for Itachi-san, Naruto figured he could somehow sneak him on backstage. Gaara would be watching from backstage too, so the redhead could put in a good word for Naruto if security was tough…

And, most importantly, Naruto wanted Itachi at the private dinner party after the concert. Everyone that mattered to the vocalist would be there. And in front of them all, he would coolly introduce the one person that understood him, recognized him as he wanted to be recognized, who respected not only Naruto himself but the memory of Naruto's parents, their music, and his own music too. Maybe, the blonde kept telling himself, this feeling wasn't love, but even if it wasn't love, who cared? If he could bring one person, Naruto wanted most in the world to bring Itachi-san.

The invitation that should have made him cool, however, was leaving him cold and even more pathetic. Naruto sneezed, wondering if he should just head home, when the lights of an approaching car broke through the rain. The blond stood very very still as a maid rushed out with an umbrella to guide Uchiha Itachi indoors.

Itachi spotted him at once, dripping wet by the door; surprised but composed, the raven-haired man motioned for him to follow. His what-should-have-been-cool invitation dead on his stiff tongue, Naruto nodded and, accepting his hand, let the older man lead him indoors.

They were in Itachi's office, which felt better now with someone else in it for the blonde, Naruto dripping on the expensive carpet and Itachi sending for towels.

"What can I do for you?" the red eyes asked.

Through chattering teeth, the blond said, "Th-this Saturday night, there's a-a concert at the Soundless Live House. Ca-can you come he-hear me sing?"

Itachi smiled a shallow smile. "You know the master of a dojo cannot go to some place as high profile as a live house. This is an answer I gave once to your father as well."

"Yo-you can co-come backstage." Naruto hated how his voice made it sound as though he was whining.

"I must decline."

The blond bit his trembling lips, whether from the cold or from his disappointment, he didn't know. Then the warm towels came and Itachi was drying Naruto's golden curls. At his touch, tears rose in the vocalist's peerless blue eyes but didn't fall.

"Is that all you came to tell me?" Itachi said, quietly, without emotion. "It wasn't worth being out in the rain. You should protect your throat. Else, how will you walk the path that awaits you?"

Naruto was absolutely still.

Only when Itachi pulled away from him, did the blond's tears spill over. Crying out, he hugged the older man about the waist, begging in a hysteric squeal, "Please come. My parents, my dad, he never saw me on stage. I didn't know anything then. So I want you to watch me now, see me, see only me. I'll be better than my dad, so please please come."

For a split second, what might have been sorrow crossed the raven-haired man's face. Then, even that flicker was gone and his expression became that of an emotionless perfect mask. Itachi shook his head.

"What you seek is not my acknowledgement, but your dead father's. An acknowledgement you'll always seek in vain, Naruto. As I do."

The blond shook his head stubbornly. "What about a private party then? After the concert? That's not too high-profile, is it? That's what I really want you to come with me to, anyways."

Itachi had the leisure to laugh, a sensual mature ring. "You are precious to me as Minato's child. You are precious to me as the one who will achieve the things that he could not."

Naruto was pure determination now, demanding loudly, "What if I go as far as to say I think I love you? What if I say I think I fell in love with you in this room, when you finally said the words I've been waiting my whole life to hear? Will you come then? I want _you_ to come with me."

The dark eyebrows roses, this time in amusement. A smile on his handsome face, Itachi whispered, "Are you not confusing me with my Sasuke?"

The _Dead Last_ vocal, angry now at not being taken seriously twice in a row, collared the front of the older man's kimono. "Are you not confusing me with my father?"

Itachi smirked in reply. "Rest assured, your temper is not his."

"Itachi-san…" Naruto met the red eyes with his dewy blue ones, met the other's breathes with his own, and said, plainly, honestly, "Could you save me already? Could you save me from my own demon? I've been waiting to be saved from myself since I became _this_. I get over it, then I don't. I hate being… being a shell of a musician. I don't feel like a real person."

The raven-haired man gave the slightest shake of his head.

"You must fight your own demons. I will not go, Naruto."

* * *

Sasuke gasped as he shoved open the door of the dobe's and his apartment, but to his utmost relief there was no scene of naked Naruto handcuffed to the wall being sucked off by Gaara wearing black panties (not hot at all, seriously). Instead, the redhead padded out of the kitchen, wearing black PJs with black bunny slippers with evil eyes (they sold those?), his mouth smeared with strawberry ice cream. Taking the spoon out of his mouth and putting it in the empty tub of ice cream, Gaara murmured drowsily, "You are not Naruto."

The he trudged back towards the kitchen.

"Oi. Wait." The redhead turned back to see the Uchiha rip off his wig and his seifuuku shirt, bra and all, in one furious tug. Standing half naked in a skirt, but glowing with an elegant boyish fury without his disguise, Sasuke growled, "That's my strawberry ice cream."

Gaara shrugged and said, simply, "Share."

Sasuke shoved the smaller boy against the wall, sending the spoon and tub clattering to the ground. "Who do you think you are, strutting in here like you own the damn place and eating other's anti-suicide food? You think the dobe's going to ever look at you if you keep pulling stunts like that? That slut Naruto just goes off wagging his tail to everyone who doesn't want him so give up already!"

Gaara's sudden vicious headbutt sent both boys flying back, clutching their foreheads in pain.

For the first time, the redhead seemed actually awake. He hissed in barely restrained rage, glaring up with his green eyes starkly contrasting with the blood dripping down his forehead.

"What do you know about liking Naruto? Try being a year younger, being his adopted little brother for your whole life. Try having a gay crush who is obsessed with your sister, who doesn't think of you as romantic partner so much he thinks making out is brotherly. Try being a model to match him and still not having him look your way because he's so fraught in his own loneliness." Gaara smeared the dripping blood and spat, his eyes snapping, "You don't deserve to like him. Someone who calls it quits because some fucked up cross-dressing plot didn't work, you are the one who should give up. So get out of here."

Sasuke balled his hands into fists. Gaara faced him off and static cracked between them. Finally, the Uchiha said in a voice barely above a whisper, "Go back to Europe. And don't poke your foreign nose into my business."

Gaara glared. "I came back because you are poking your nose into mine. I am already waiting for Naruto, when he finds himself and comes back. So why are you living in Naruto's apartment? Why do you wear Naruto's key around your neck?"

"This was my apartment first. You have no right to order me to leave."

"You aren't needed or wanted. You don't belong here."

Both boys might have attacked and ripped each other apart, when the door of the apartment clattered open and the Dead Last vocal stumbled in, his golden hair damp, his beautiful blue eyes hollow. Instantly, all of Gaara's anger seemed to retract on itself, perfectly controlled behind the sleepy green eyes.

"Welcome home, Naruto," the redhead crooned, perfectly serenely.

The blond looked up and barely registered the aftermath of the fight between his two bloody roommates. Instead, he said in a mounting voice, "That's my ice cream. It's empty?"

"No, usuratonkachi." Sasuke wiped away the blood from his pale skin. "It's mine."

"Teme, you ate yours!" Naruto shrieked, snapping. "That's new! And you ate it all?"

"Don't yell at me; Gaara ate it," Sasuke said, pointing.

The blond lunged towards the redhead, but instead of hitting him, he crumpled in Gaara's arms and burst into a wail, "What do I do? What do I doooo?"

Gaara held him instinctively. "Do about what?"

"I WAS REJECTED! DUMPED! DENIED! TOLD TO GO COOL MY HEAD!"

Even Gaara was surprised. The redhead and the raven-haired boy traded curious looks as Naruto pounded on Gaara's chest, sobbing, "And there's not even ice cream. FML."

"By whom, usuratonkachi?" Sasuke demanded, literally a hundred candidates going through his mind at once. Living with the dobe was not helping his anger management problems.

Gaara smirked. "You were rejected by Temari."

"IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE COMFORTING YOU ICE CREAM THIEF?" Naruto freaked out. "I was never rejected by Temari because I never confessed, jackass!"

Gaara would have raised his eyebrows if he had them. "Then who did you confess to?"

"JUST YOU WAIT!" Naruto suddenly rose, and thumped his chest like a gorilla. "I'M GOING TO BECOME SIX HUNDRED TIMES SEXIER THAN MY DAD AND SHIKAMARU COMBINED AND THEN YOU ARE GOING TO BEG ME TO BE BOTTOM AND I'LL GENEROUSLY TAKE YOU BACK AND WE WILL FUCK! YEAH!"

"That'll show him, usuratonkachi," Sasuke said dryly. "Whoever the fuck he is."

"Bottom?" Gaara blinked, the sweet taste of ice cream going stale in his mouth. "Him?"

Naruto took up the discarded spoon and stabbed the fallen ice cream tub in hysteria. "FROM NOW ON, I'M JUST GOING TO BE ABOUT THE MUSIC. TOTALLY DRIVEN WITH NO DISTRACTIONS: NO SEX, NO GIRLS, NO ICE CREAM! I'LL SHOW HIM! I'LL MAKE HIM WANT ME FIRST AND BEG ME FOR A BLOWJOB! OH, YOU'VE DONE IT NOW, UZUMAKI YOU BEAST. YEAH!"

"No sex?" Gaara and Sasuke repeated together what they found to be the crux of Naruto's outburst, and glared at each other for daring to ride the same brainwave.

"AGH! I FEEL LIKE THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE IS POINTING AT ME AND LAUGHING THEIR HEADS OFF!" Naruto screamed.

Then, just as suddenly, his head popped up like a daisy and he turned to the raven-haired boy bright-eyed. "Sasuke sempai, come with me to the company dinner. If I go with you no one will question our being involved."

Sasuke felt a million veins pulse in his forehead at once. Blood level rising, along with blood thirst. Not good. "Actually, dobe, I am going with Shikamaru."

The strangest expression flashed across the rockstar's face then. It wasn't hurt, exactly, but it was a lot of other emotions: surprise, blatant jealousy, resentment, suspicion, confusion. Finally, Naruto said, "O-oh… okay. Whatever."

"I'll go with you," Gaara leaned his head on the blond's shoulder and murmured immediately, "_I_ like you."

"Oi. I never said I _didn't_ like him," the raven-haired boy hissed. "Just that I was going with Shikamaru."

Gaara yawned and said quietly but with weight, "Same thing. That's how Temari nee told 'Ruto she didn't want him."

Before Sasuke could retort, Naruto cut him off, "Enough, Gaara. I'm trying to put all that behind me now and move on. Focus."

The redhead rose and hugged the blond from the back. "I'll get behind you, Uzumaki Naruto…"

"Don't be gross and get off!"

The two adopted brothers disappeared into the kitchen arguing friendly-like, leaving one Uchiha Sasuke seething on the floor. Naruto was the one who said he liked some other mysterious guy. To Sasuke's face, the dobe had said it. So how come _Sasuke_ was being given the "boyfriend caught cheating" treatment? How come he had to feel like he lost some silent battle with that eyebrow-less gay freak? How come Gaara got to go with Naruto to the party? How come Gaara could be so frank and unabashed about his feelings, while half asleep, when the Uchiha couldn't?

How come the usuratonkachi didn't love Sasuke like he damn well should?

* * *

_Author's Notes_: UUUUUuuuggggghhh. Apparently, I have issues not writing angst. I have a setting and there's crack about fangirls but then it's like WHOMP. Plot bunny attack. Bear with me though, crack will come back again in the next chapter full swing.

Now, without further ado, welcome to the **Rosesareblue's Review and be Replied Corner**! Tadaaaaa! (I got more comments than the following that I'd love to reply to, but then I'd never get writing if I did them all.)

To **xHappyButton**'s "I really liked the fact that you made Ino Naruto's go to person. She always seems to get a lot of crap from people and it's nice to see her shine every once in a while."

Ino: Ohohohohohohohohohoho (flips hair over her shoulder) ohohohohohoho.

Sakura: (puts hands on hips) What have you done? Don't you know how she gets? You should compliment only humble people like me. Ohohohohohohohohohoho.

Hinata: They are… synchronizing… in maniacal laughter…

Sasuke: (has a "I hate my life" look on his face)

To **Breseis25**'s "I think I'm rooting for Itachi to be like this tensai sensei for Naruto, like the blonde's personal leader into EPICNESS (since he knew his parents and all)."

Itachi: (smirks like the walking sex he is) Naruto must fight his own demons (disappears in smoke like the sexy bastard he is).

Naruto: Okay, hearing it ONCE hurts enough, alright?

To **foodta**'s "I like [this fic] (I love it, I will marry with it!). How creepy is that."

Sakura: (grabs foodta's arm) Heard _Dead Last _is gonna be playing at your wedding. Well? Are you gonna invite us or WHAT? Because, if I do say so myself, I make a kickass maid of honor.

foodta: Um, I don't even know you that well...

Ino: OHMIGOSHOHMIGOSHOMIGOSH!

foodta: (covers her ears) Uh, security?

Hinata: (appears with security, wearing a Naruto t-shirt under her Louis Vuitton cardigan) So… maybe we should avoid… a January date… because Neji… onii-sama is… taking me to… the Bahamas then?

foodta: How creepy are you?

To **roxxihearts**'s "Sasuke can't catch a friggin break. I hope if Naruto comes crawling back on his knees Sasuke will give him what for :("

Sasuke: (kicks open door to Naruto's room) Oi, dobe.

Naruto: (takes off headphones and blinks up at raven-haired boy from his bed) Hn?

Sasuke: Crawl.

Naruto: (continues to blink) Hn?

Sasuke: Just do it.

Naruto: Er, okay. (bounces on all fours on his bed) Whee~ Whee~

Sasuke: What. For. (frowny face)

Naruto: (stops whee-ing) Um, what did you say? Is something wrong, sempai?

Sasuke: (stalks out of confused Naruto's room and kicks the door shut so hard it splinters) That was strangely unsatisfying.

To **Super Special Awesome Sensei**'s "I honestly don't think Naruto understands what 'love' is yet. I mean he confessed that he was in love with Ino and said he's still (I think) in love with Temari. So! I'm hoping this will be another thing and eventually Sasuke with sweep him (or force him) off his feet and see his true love for him!"

Rosesareblue: You are an English major, aren't you? Dude! (takes notes and worships)

To **Kajia**'s "You do LOVE torturing sasuke, don't you?"

Rosesareblue: (doodles skulls with Sasuke's name and DEATH!11! scrawled in them) No. Not at all. What are you talking about?

Sasuke: (wields kunai as Naruto tries to hold him back)

To **stacy**'s "I knew it I knew it I knew it! I thought Sasuke and Naruto were moving a little fast in the previous chapter and it's obvious now that Sasuke totally scared Naruto away by coming on too fast. Come on, Sasuke! Get the hint what Naruto was saying about his other fangirls in chapter ten when you said you loved him! He hit you! Naruto's been with like fifty girls. He's going to think it's just about the sex and not really about liking him."

Naruto: (turns to Sasuke) So, teme, give it to me straight. Is it really just about the sex?

Sasuke: Of course not. This is why you are a total dobe, dobe. (pauses) I mean, sex isn't not not not a part of it.

Naruto: …

Sasuke: You're a guy. You know what I mean.

Naruto: …

Sasuke: Hey, I already confessed to your ass in chapter ten.

Naruto: (squints) Isn't that the chapter where I have sexuality issues and you aren't sympathetic?

Sasuke: (kicks a puppy) If you want to be all Freudian about it.

To **ZealousMonotony**'s "Just remember, there's a random chick sittin' over here who generally hates Sasuke, but is actually feeling sorry for him! WTF? STOP MAKING ME FEEL THIS WAY!"

ZealousMonotony: (hears the doorbell and opens front door)

Gaara: (flashes badge labeled EMERGENCY NINJA UNIT and glares through his smoky eye makeup) Rosesareblue sent me over with her shitty doodles of skulls with Sasuke's name and DEATH!11! scrawled in them and, more importantly, a bunch of DVDs that endlessly replay a collage of images featuring Sasuke putting a hand through Naruto's lungs, killing Itachi then blaming everyone else on it, and siding with that creepy Kabuto.

ZealousMonotony: (wordlessly slams door shut)

To **little-lamb-83**'s "I swear to God, if Naruto says he's in love with Itachi, I'm going to punch him. And then I'm going to thoroughly murder Itachi. That would be oh so very cruel, if it's true. Especially to Sasuke."

little-lamb-83: (hears the doorbell and opens front door)

Sasuke: (drops FedEx box filled with knuckle spikes and gutting tools before putting a confiding hand on little-lamb-83's shoulder) These are my old toys. You can have them if you want.

little-lamb-83: They have price tags on them!

Sasuke: (shrugs) Vintage.

To **ScytheOfDeathAngel**'s "Oh, and how was your trip abroad?"

Rosesareblue: Poised. Elegant. And, I must say, I behaved wonderfully maturely.

Sakura: (snorts) Are you telling her about that time a perfectly nice boy asked you out and you screamed and dove into the girl's bathroom to hide because you had one too many… sodas?

Rosesareblue: (sniffs) Yes, in fact, I was.

To **BlueMoon**'s "Sasuke Gaara would suck big time. Please don't do it. It's gross."

Sasuke, Gaara, Rosesareblue: No kidding.

Sasuke: (glares) You had us at it in UUS, bitch.

Roseareblue: Tha-that was just a plot bunny!

Gaara: (hits author with live bunny)

To **sasunaru lover**'s "Unless you plan on writing up to 60 chapters or more and that at least ten years had pass."

Rosesareblue's friends: (pisses themselves laughing)

Rosesareblue: Okay, okay, fun's over. Sit back down, y'all.

Rosesareblue's friends: (still snorting, makes wallpaper of this quote and puts it on their laptops)

Rosesareblue: You guys are mean!

To **kunf'you'z-ed**'s "I can't wait to see how Sasuke reacts with Gaara being back home - living with Naruto! - and taking up Naruto's time. And poor Sasuke, I wonder if he is just going to give his staying as a girl and leave for good and never speak to Naruto again!"

Rosesareblue: All will be revealed in the chapters to come… muhahahaha.

Naruto: (interrupts evil laughter by stamping UPDATE on author's forehead)

To **larth**'s "Just because Sasuke spilled his guts to him doesn't mean [Naruto] needs to be obligated to love him back. I'm glad this story isn't all too predictable."

Sasuke: Let me educate your ignorant ass. Take a look at this. (hands over contract)

larth: (reads contract titled OBLIGATION TO LOVE UCHIHA SASUKE IF HE DAMN WELL WANTS YOU TO, signed PEOPLE OF EARTH) What is this shit?

Sasuke: Ask my lawyer (jerks his thumb back).

larth: That's Orochimaru!

Sasuke: That's MISTER Orochimaru to you.

Orochimaru: Hello XD.

larth: WTF.

To **midnitefury**'s "On another note, my dear Rosesareblue, I love how you can be funny in one moment and serious the next."

Naruto: You love it, do you? YOU TRY BEING IN A STORY SHE'S WRITING AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE BEING TOSSED AROUND EVERYWHERE YOU LITTLE

Temari: YOUR PUBLIC IMAGE, IDIOT! THINK OF YOUR PUBLIC IMAGE!

Naruto: (grumbles politely) Please excuse me. Actually, I am just angry with rosesareblue, you see, and mistakenly directing my rage at you when you are just being nice.

midnitefury: (equally politely) Oh, it's quite all right. I agree rosesareblue is a big jerk. (they do the friend handshake)

Rosesareblue: Um, I'm glad you guys worked that out... (sweatdrops)

To **spiel**'s "The first thing that came to mind when I read they named the song 'For Itachi' was that they had to have had the hottest menage a trois in the entire Naruto universe xD"

Rosesareblue: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I ADORE YOU SPIEL-SAN!

And with that genius from spiel-san, that's a wrap! There'll be more of these, 'cause they are fun, so please review and comment! As always, THANKS FOR YOUR INTEREST IN _DEAD LAST_!


	13. Black Rose

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is drawn and written by a fantastically splendid, wonderfully cute, and very talented manga artist: the Masashi Kishimoto. (And Kishimoto-san, if you are, by the slimmest chance, reading this and somehow understanding the English, please elope with me; I will bring the bags of onigiri.)

**Chapter Rating: **PG-13

**Author's Note: **Here we goooooo! Sorry for the lack of updates. University life, you know? Or more like lack of life at uni, you know?

Oh, and just a side note, some of you are really sweet and rush to my defense if I get flamed. The thing is, I don't mind flames because they just up my review count and I have a friend who pays me a dollar every time I get one (and for those of you who live in dorms, you know how valuable dollar bills are when you have to order takeout). So, I'd rather hear what y'all think about my story than have you kind people waste your time replying to whomever. Also, if you are reading this and you really hate my stories, one, wow, you read a lot of a fic you hate, and two, do leave a review. Thanks.

**My E-mail:** rosesareblue at ymail dot com (Write me with any comments, questions, or suggestions. Remember, there's nothing like feedback that improves an author's moral/writing and keeps the chapters coming.)

**/ Dead / Last /**

**By Rosesareblue**

_Chapter Thirteen: Black Rose_

Sasuke did not know why, but he found himself at Hinata's house.

For the raven-haired boy, the days before the concert seemed to drag by at the pace of a snail. Not any snail. A maimed, mutilated, warped snail on slow mode. School was one big DUUUUUH. Home was one big (insert the worst word you know here). Naruto was taking his vow pretty seriously and seemed to have sold his soul to practice. Supposedly, he slept during classes (and very diligently, too), but all other times he was at the _Dead Last _studio. If the dobe were at home, he was locked away in his room, appearing only to go to the bathroom and even then he had earphones on with music playing so loudly from them that the Uchiha wondered why the usuratonkachi's head didn't explode. Gaara seemed fine with this arrangement somehow. Even when Naruto went psycho bitch and tore up a sheet of music or hurled his headphones off only to retrieve them again, Gaara rubbed cheeks with Naruto and "there there"ed him back to sanity. Sasuke started to wonder if Buddha lived in the redhead; for a guy suffering one-sided-love, he seemed to snore through it pretty bitchingly.

Sasuke, however, was not taking it so well. Sometimes, he asked himself "WHAT DID I DO IN MY PAST LIFE TO DESERVE THIS", especially since Naruto had stopped speaking to Sasuke all together (not that he could have heard Sasuke's replies with those earphones on). Some other times, the Uchiha contemplated headdesking himself until he forgot all this and moved on to NeverNeverland. And most of the time, he hated everyone's guts: Naruto-that-traitor's, Gaara-that-irritating-asshole's, and Naruto's-lover-who-looked-like-a-boy-version-of-Ino-in-Sasuke's-mind. But the Uchiha's pride didn't let him shave his head to become a monk in Tibet, because that would just be giving that eyebrow-less gay freak what he wanted. So, from the outside, Sasuke might have looked fine; pissed off, sure, but fine. On the inside, Sasuke was dying. Surely, he would not last until the concert or the dinner party. The days of snails would kill him.

But Uchiha Sasuke would not go without a fight. But how could he fight? He knew how to kick swipe legs from under his opponents and he knew how to bash teeth in, but one, he didn't know yet who the guy that Naruto liked was, and two, even if he mangled that SOB, he doubted it would win Naruto over (if there was even a millionth of a chance it would, Sasuke would have done that plan, which he liked). And the coax-his-body-over-first-with-sex-and-his-heart-later strategy seemed to have failed miserably, else Naruto should love him at level one hundred and two by now (not that Sasuke was counting).

So, if Sasuke fought at all, it would have to be some epic battle of, ugh, feelings. Those _things _that _girls _talked about. To think that female knowledge would have actual relevance in real life… the Uchiha would laugh if the situation weren't so dire. But who to get this information from? Ino? Of course not, she failed with Naruto too, so what the fuck could she know? Sakura? Maybe, but if Sakura knew anything, Ino somehow knew it too, and then all of Konoha would know that Sasuke cared about, ew, feelings. Hinata? The safest bet since she kept her mouth shut, so Hinata it was.

That's why Sasuke had copped a ride with Hinata to her house and was now staring with a WTF face up at a 10 meter portrait of an elegantly handsome pale boy with long straight black hair that hung in the white-eyed girl's room.

Hinata laughed awkwardly. "Neji onii-sama… put it there… in case I… forgot what… he looked like…"

Forgot what he looked like? With a portrait that fucking big, Hinata should be paralyzed with fear that she could _never _forget what he looked like. Sasuke's skepticism must have appeared on his face, because Hinata giggled again and pushed a hidden button under her tea table.

With a quiet hum of the motor, the portrait flipped around to reveal a wall covered with posters of _Dead Last._

"Please keep this… our secret…" Hinata said shyly. "Neji onii-sama… doesn't approve…"

"Of rock music?" Sasuke said distractedly, pulling close to the hidden stash to examine a poster of Naruto wearing a fluffy turtleneck and hugging a stuffed frog. The smile in this was fake, the raven-haired boy could tell now. The little twitch in Naruto's picture-perfect smile, that gave it away.

"Of… male musicians…" Hinata dropped her gaze when Sasuke stared and quickly changed the subject. "Are you… here to discuss… what you are going to wear… to the concert?"

That's one line I will never cross, the Uchiha thought vehemently and instead forced a feminine giggle, flipping his ponytail over his shoulder and plopping down on one of Hinata's many velvet armchairs. "I wanted to ask about… a boy."

He would not blush. He would not blush. With sheer Uchiha will, he would not fucking blush…

Hinata looked vaguely surprised by Sasuke's faint blush, sitting down across from him. After a while, the dark-haired girl said, "You want to… talk to me about… Naruto-sama… and your feelings… for him?"

The Uchiha stayed calm though a million questions were shooting through his head. Did her pearly eyes see through him or something? What witchcraft was this? Was this some female genetic mutation that allowed them to guess the truth when _feelings _were involved? No wonder their gender could never get anything done, having to be constantly aware of sappy bullshit…

Clearing his throat, Sasuke said nonchalantly, "It's not like I like the dobe. In fact, he annoys me to no end with his retarded ways."

Hinata smiled. "I see… so you really really… love Naruto-sama… not only as your idol… but as… the one boy for you."

OMG. What the fuck was going on here? Did Sasuke _say_ that? He hadn't _said _all that embarrassing crap, had he? Did this bitch not speak Japanese like he did? Had he said something in coded girl-talk? No, no, keep your cool, Uchiha. She might have just made a lucky guess. Right, lucky guess.

"Besides, Naruto's not interested in me," he said.

Hinata sat up straight in her chair, her face paling even more, "Naruto-sama… likes someone else…? Oh Sasuke-san… who is it? Who?"

Sasuke decided to just accept the fact he was conversing with a mindreading alien and get the information he came to get.

"I don't know. We'll find out at the party." With a flicker of red in his black eyes, he asked, "So what do I do about it if I want Naruto's not being interested to change?"

The Hyuuga heiress shook her head firmly. "No… don't… it won't work… Naruto-sama's… everyone's idol… it's not fair… for you to try… to have him… for yourself…"

"This other guy is more a threat to that than me," Sasuke said. "Help me."

The tone of his "help me" was more "obey me", but Hinata didn't let that bother her. Instead she looked up at the poster that Sasuke had admired, wondering how many nights she'd spent crying in her room when she felt lonely and had been rescued by that smile. Hinata had never dreamed then that she'd get to know Naruto-sama as a real person, but she had always liked to imagine his smile and his music were for someone like her. She would be brave because Naruto-sama's smile and songs were telling her so beautifully to be brave. And so Hinata had become a devout _Dead Last _fan and Naruto's fan. The first time she'd ever explicitly gone against Neji onii-sama's wishes was letting Ino-chan sneak her out to a _Dead Last _concert. And there she'd seen Naruto-sama up close and thought here was a real boy, saying and doing wonderful things. Real things.

Hinata had thought that, but she hadn't fully believed it. She'd turned a deaf ear on any scandal of Naruto-sama's, and there had been quite a lot of scandals, finding them nearly sacrilegious and hating anyone that hated the boy that sung her to sleep even during her loneliest nights, when her parents and Neji onii-sama were far away on business. But maybe it was also because she wanted to believe that Naruto-sama was perfect. The smile, the songs, the singer were perfect. In fact, they were a fantasy that protected her.

But now she had seen up close that Naruto-sama was indeed real. He could get hurt. He could be unhappy. So Hinata should do what was best for Naruto-sama, even if it broke her perfect fantasy of him. Even if it meant Sasuke-san.

"What… would you do for… Naruto-sama?" the pearly eyed girl asked quietly.

"Do for him?" Sasuke shrugged her question off, thinking it was silly. "I'd like him. What else would I do?"

"Everyone who… bought that poster… can do… that too."

"You don't understand," the Uchiha scolded mildly, as though he was talking to the lame animal that he was wonted to compare all females to. "Not me, the problem is him. How do I get him to like me? Feelings and shit."

Hinata blinked. "Why should… he like you…?"

"I like him. Don't make me repeat things."

"If he doesn't… know how your feelings… are different… why would you be… special?"

"Look, he and I have history."

"He can make… history with… someone else…" Hinata bowed her head apologetically when the Uchiha trained his intense glare on her. "I am… sorry… I don't mean… to make you… feel badly… Naruto-sama… he has many… who like him… and it seems to make him… not happy but… unhappy instead…"

"That's because he has emotional baggage like a girl…" Sasuke cleared his throat. "I mean, like _us_…"

"Then… don't like him…" Hinata said, pouting.

Sasuke wondered if the pearly-eyed girl was going for a sabotage plan. But he had to refrain from punching her, that wouldn't be too feminine, would it? So instead he said wearily, "But I do. Unfortunately enough."

"Then… like him… all of him…" Hinata replied and said worriedly, "I agree… Naruto-sama is very… hard to love… in his weaknesses… especially if you are… new to love Sasuke-san… maybe…"

The Uchiha was ticked because even mindreading alien voodoo didn't have instantaneous solutions, "Maybe what?"

"You should… like Ryoichi-san… in our class… instead…"

"Who the fuck? Why would I?"

Hinata giggled. "He… likes you… already…"

Sasuke's face made his answer very obvious.

* * *

As he had predicted, the Hyuuga heiress seemed not to have repeated the contents of their conversation to Sakura-queen-of-gossip and Ino-foghorn. Instead, the darkhaired girl started giving him shit. Like a book on blood types and horoscopes (Sasuke and Naruto's results were pretty darn good; the Uchiha decided the book deserved a special place beside his bed). Like magazines with dumbass articles like "Does he secretly love you? Take our quiz!" (Sasuke had gotten the result "He secretly hates your guts" and had flushed the magazine down the toilet, flooding the entire apartment) and "What type of guy is he? Find out now!" (Naruto was apparently 3% Dork 5% Emo 12% Slut and 80% Hungry… WTF?). Like random makeup and clothes with notes saying "Read in _Candy_ that Naruto-sama likes this color", "This will bring out your eyes", "No worries, use this for cleavage".

It got so bad that Sakura cornered him one day at school and demanded, "Why are you and Hinata-chan so friendly lately? And so secretive, huh?"

The pink-haired girl had caught Sasuke slightly off guard because he had been reading Hinata's gift "How to Make Yourself the Valentine Gift" behind a copy of _War and Peace. _But the mindreading alien seemed to have prepared for such an occasion as well because she came over and said without a blink, "Because… Sakura-chan and Ino-chan… are best friends again… and I am… jealous…"

Even suspicious Sakura seemed to take the bait, blushing and swatting Hinata's shoulder, "Don't embarrass me, Hinata-chan. But we are close lately, huh?"

"Almost like… lovers…"

"Gyaa, Hinata-chan~"

"Sakura-chan~"

And then the two girls had gone off giggling like hyenas and cuddling, leaving Sasuke re-counting in his head the days he had to pretend to be one of those brainless drones. Certainly, he didn't appreciate Hinata's gifts. If she didn't have a good solution, she should butt out without meddling.

The only reason the Uchiha had worn the stupid makeup and Wonder Bra she'd given him on the day of Naruto's concert at all was because he felt sorry for the little white-eyed girl for trying so hard. Only reason, got that?

On concert day, the three girls appeared in party dresses, like Sasuke himself, and the raven-haired boy wondered who'd invited each of them to the dinner afterwards. Certainly not Naruto or he'd have heard of it. Maybe not, since the Uchiha barely saw Naruto at all, despite the fact that they lived in the same house. And at school, he'd only caught a few glimpses of Naruto and Gaara bent over their desks in their first year classroom, sleeping soundly during breaks, while their female classmates kept guard for any noise (shhh-ing to death anyone who so much as coughed as they passed in the hall) and taking silent phone pictures of the dozing brothers side by side. The only comfort in all this was, by all reports it seemed Naruto really was preparing for the concert, not running around after the mysterious guy who'd rejected him.

Though the four girls had skipped afternoon classes to go home, change at ninja speed, and get in line at the Soundless Live House, they arrived to find fifty girls there already who had apparently found it worthwhile to skip the entire day of school. Twenty of them had given up their spots when Hinata had offered them 10000 yen each, and ten more at 50000 yen each (apparently, the Hyuuga heiress had told her Neji onii-sama she was going shoe shopping, so he'd given her some pocket money). But the twenty remaining would not be budged by any amount of money.

"We're fated to look over twenty heads at Nat-chan," Sakura wailed, her mascara starting to run in her tears. "We might as well be on the other side of the MOOOOOON. I can't live with this, I can't! I'm going to kill myself, right now! Right here!"

When the pink haired girl whipped out a razor from her purse and announced she would now publically shave her legs without water, five sickened girls let them go ahead of them. But for the remaining fifteen girls, Sakura's life was worth less than one _Dead Last _concert up close.

Sakura dabbed at her smeared eyes. "Damnit, what do we do now?"

Ino slung an arm around her best friend and took out a handful of pictures from her bosom. "Leave it to me, girl friend."

With that the blonde girl cleared her throat and said magic words, "I have baby pictures of Uzumaki Naruto."

When twelve more girls were behind them, Sakura asked a crucial question, "Where did you get those?"

Ino grinned. "Naruto's older brother Kankuro. Don't worry, I photoshopped the naked rumps out of those, so I still have the real gold mine at home… and don't look at me like that, bitches, I'll give you copies later, all right? Geez!"

But there was still three girls ahead of them in line, and it was almost time for the concert. The four huddled around to strategize.

Hinata: "What do we… do?"

Sakura: "It's only three people. Maybe we should call it quits?

Ino: "Yeah? What if they are the types that raise their cameras over their heads?"

Sakura, panicking: "What do we do? What do we do?"

Hinata: "I guess there's… only one thing… we can do…"

Ino, sighing: "I really wish it hadn't come to this."

Sakura, shaking her head: "They brought this upon themselves."

With that, the girls turned to one Uchiha Sasuke. Already, the raven-haired girl was doing some stretching exercises and cracking her knuckles. It was over in a flash. Sakura screamed, "Hey! Isn't that a BLACK VAN?" In the split second all eyes of witnesses were turned elsewhere, Sasuke made disappear from this world three unfortunate fangirls.

* * *

Sakura rubbed cheeks with the railing that rimmed the small stage, blocking fans from climbing on over the speakers and spoke over the noise of the crowd, "To think Uzumaki Naruto will step on this stage in just a few minutes."

Ino snorted. "We see him every day at school. C'mon, Shikamaru-sama we haven't seen in FOREVER. How long has it been since they hosted a live?"

"Over… three months…" Hinata had to strain to be heard. "It has been… forever…"

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Even when Naruto's close he's a million light years away so I'm going to cherish tonight."

Sasuke thought that was the smartest thing the pink-haired girl had ever said.

"Hey, hey, do you know that girls aren't allowed to transfer to our school anymore?" Ino said, laughing. "Especially since Gaara came, I think that's like a real rule now."

Sakura giggled. "Oh yeah, I heard about that. Our school's suddenly the hardest one to test into too. I see a lot of middle school girls at exam school and they have like, demon fire in their eyes."

Hinata giggled too. "At this rate… we will be… graduates of the… number one… high school in Japan!"

But the Uchiha didn't fucking care about high school rank. He wished the concert would start already, so he could check if the usuratonkachi was actually alive after all that practicing. His wish was soon granted; hundreds of females having seizures marked the beginning of the performance.

First Kiba, wearing a tuxedo, rushed onto stage with a canine whoop, "Miss me? Ha?"

Into the hysteric screams, the bassist pulled a red rose from his breast pocket, kissed it, and threw. Hands groped, reached, struck. Voices cried and moaned. Hinata was jumping up and down, clapping.

Then Chouji, also in a tuxedo, ran out, punching the air. "Give it up for _Dead Last!_"

The screaming voices merged into one ear-shattering roar. Chouji's rose was bright yellow, glistening in the many showers of the moving lights as it fell into the greedy crowd. Chouji's name was chanted, then Kiba's, then Chouji's again. Sakura was cheering, ecstatic.

Next came Shikamaru in the same tuxedo, walking languidly. At the edge of the stage, he bowed.

He held his rose for a while, showing off its pure white petals and possibly driving some reaching girls to insanity. Instead of tossing it, he dropped it over the railing. With an athlete's reflexes, Sasuke had snatched it out of midair. Before he had time to wonder what the heck to do with it, some bitch on his right slapped it from his hand. Ino literally flew through the air, jump kicking the girl to the floor (and possibly her premature grave), and retrieved the white rose.

She turned to her raven-haired friend, breathless, "Can I have this?"

Sasuke's consent was swallowed up by the crowd demanding Naruto, while the rest of the band turned their attentions to their respective instruments. But the blond vocalist did not appear on stage until the Uchiha started to suspect the concert a huge conspiracy. Hello? The raven-haired boy had had his heart's purity(?) stampeded on by the ruthless dobe, was it asking for too much to have that wound eased slightly by the sight of said dobe in a tuxedo with a rose? WAS IT?

Apparently it was, because there was a ten minute pause that felt like ten hours between the appearance of the rest of the band and Naruto. And after the ten long minutes of waiting, all lights in the live house went out.

"A BLACK OUT? WHAT ABOUT THE CONCERT?"

"WHY DIDN'T I BRING MY NIGHT GOGGLES? I'M SO DUUMMMB!"

"GIVE US UZUMAKI NARUTO! NARUTOOOOOOO!"

"BURN THE OWNER OF THE LIVE HOUSE AND USE HIS FLAMING BODY AS A LIGHT SOURCE!"

"THE LIVE MUST GO ON!"

"NARUTO! NARUTOOOOOOOOOO!"

Suddenly, Chouji broke out into a steady beat and Shikamaru and Kiba started strumming the opening threads of the song "Konoha". And Naruto's voice in pitch blackness, raw, not coming through a mike, "The leaf dances in flames / and our eternity begins now."

_Our eternity begins now…_

His voice is different, Sasuke thought. It's older. There's no way that's the voice that calls me "sempai". This voice belongs in this dark room, not on a sunlit school top or a cozy apartment. It's surprising and painful and beautiful.

But soon the raven-haired boy's hearing was bothered by the growing protests from fans, realizing that the lights weren't coming on. They wanted to see the vocal, not hear him.

"WE CAN'T SEE HIS FACE!"

"WHAT ARE YOU IDIOT STAFF PEOPLE DOING?"

"TURN ON THE LIGHT! TURN ON THE LIGHT!"

"NARUTO'S TOO PRETTY TO BE KEPT IN THE DARK!"

"SING WITH THE LIGHT ON! ARE YOU JOKING?"

"SHOW US YOUR TUXEDO! PLEASE!"

"That's too harsh," Sakura growled, besides Sasuke. "They aren't even listening to him sing at all."

"They aren't… his real… fans…" There were tears in Hinata's voice. "Naruto-sama… is going to be terribly hurt… by this…"

Ino was outraged. "He sounds so good, too. This might be his best performance of this! And the rest of the band is amazing too, playing in the dark! Those jerks!"

On Uchiha Sasuke's part, he might have done something rather brash, if Naruto didn't stop singing abruptly at that moment. The raven-haired boy was close enough to the stage to hear the blond move through the darkness. There was a crack of the microphone and _Dead Last_'s vocal addressed the crowd, "Do you want to see me?"

"UZUMAKI NARUTO! UZUMAKI NARUTO!"

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

"I LOVE YOU! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"

To these shouts, Naruto snarled, "Shut up."

Uncomfortable murmuring and hurt gasps went through the crowd at Naruto's curt, very unexpected words. The vocalist continued into that startled silence, "If you are out there, please listen to me. If you really want to see me, look more carefully."

A match was lit in the pitch black room, illuminating a single black rose. A pair of slender hands moved the flame on to the flower's delicate pedals, and it caught alight and started to burn. When there was only the stem left, the slender hand pinched out the flame. At the same time, the live house lights came back on, blinding everyone in the room so that they groaned in pain.

When Sasuke could see properly again, he looked. And looked. In the middle of that stage was, at last, Uzumaki Naruto. He wasn't in a tuxedo. In fact, he wasn't even a he. He was wearing a long blonde wig braided down his front and a full women's lavish kimono. His electric blue eyes and pink pink lips were smiling, the prettiest smile that the Uchiha had ever seen. Boy or girl. Real or fantasy.

The screaming started and Naruto, with a distinctly masculine shout, started singing, joined by his teammates in what the papers called the next day _Dead Last_'s greatest performance.

* * *

"I liked the part where he started loosening his kimono!" Sakura said to Hinata in the black van, over Chouji pressing his hands to his ears. "I almost DIED! I think a little bit of me DID DIE!"

"I liked… the part… where it started… coming… off…" Hinata said to Sakura, over Kiba sighing.

"GYAH! ME TOO ME TOO!"

Sasuke, suffering a major migraine from the female shrieking (though he agreed with both their assessments), wondered why he had to ride THIS vehicle. But Shikamaru, who was technically his "date", was riding this one, so the raven-haired boy didn't have much choice. Ino, Kankuro, Gaara, and Naruto had rode off on Kankuro's Porsche, even before the black van headed out as if those bastards had coordinated their quick getaway. Normally, such behavior on Ino's part would have inspired a two-hour "what's with her?" conversation between Sakura and Hinata, but the two were much too happy listing the ten billion things they liked about Naruto at the concert to pay much heed.

"I liked… when his voice… trembled… just so after… Kage no Kingu…" Hinata squealed.

"OHMIGOD! I LIKED THAT TOO!"

"Really…?"

"REALLY!"

"Gyaaaaa…aaaaaa…"

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Do you have aspirin?" Kiba asked Chouji.

"I was going to ask you for some." The drummer glared with a "what did you get me into?" look.

"I have some," Sasuke spoke up. He always had painkillers. They would always have painkillers too, if they were around girls as half as much as the raven-haired boy himself.

"I liked it when Naruto told everyone to 'shut up'. I wish he told me to 'shut up' – to my face!" Sakura crowed, hugging Hinata over Kiba (who muttered to himself, "Yeah? Me too").

"I liked… it too… maybe we are… masochistic?" Hinata shrieked, hugging back (as Chouji muttered backed to Kiba, "All men who want to date women are masochistic.")

"Gyaaaaaa!"

"Gyaaaa…"

Shikamaru nudged the Uchiha sitting next to him. "So, he eventually came with Gaara."

The raven-haired boy shrugged. "Yeah."

"He borrowed that kimono from Gaara too…"

At that, Sasuke looked up and asked not the obvious question ("Why does Gaara own a woman's kimono?") but, "Gaara came to practice with you guys? Didn't he have photo shoots?"

"Yeah, but he came to some of the practices." Shikamaru caught Sasuke's glare and retracted, "Our tuxedos are also from one of the lines that he works for. He came to help us with the set, not just to hang out with 'Ruto."

"How is the idiot at work?" the raven-haired boy said offhandedly, as if he hadn't maneuvered this question.

"Insane," was the immediate response. Shikamaru explained wryly, "I mean, I'm glad he's taking music so seriously, but he was serious to begin with. Sure, he played around with a bunch of girls now and then, but when it came to practice he was always attacking it heart and soul. But now… geez. The other day, Tem found him passed out in the sound room, with the cup ramen she'd left for him untouched. Ramen. Untouched. It blows my mind. It reminds me of…"

Suddenly the guitarist trailed off.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Nothing. Hey, we are almost there."

"I LIKED WHEN HE SANG. ALL OF IT!" Sakura screamed.

"Me too… Naruto is… the best!" Hinata squealed back.

They arrived at the five star hotel, made it through the impressive security, and joined Kankuro and Ino at the reception room filled with not only those from Sabakuno Production Company, but other agents and CEOs as well. Kankuro was wearing the same tuxedo the band was still wearing, apparently the uniform of the hosts for the night, courtesy of his little brother.

While the band joked around with Kankuro, Sasuke, Sakura, and Hinata asked Ino at once, "Where's the dobe/Nat-chan/Naruto-sama?"

"Bathroom. Changing."

Sasuke turned on his heels, and Ino grabbed his arm.

"Whoa, girl, you can't go in the boy's changing room! Don't worry so much about the idiot. Gaara's with him."

Obviously Ino knew nothing. All the more reason for Sasuke to worry.

"Was Naruto-sama… okay… what with… the rude fans… at the concert…" Hinata asked.

Ino said, "Of course he wasn't okay. I mean, those people went totally overboard. But he was better than I thought he'd be. He kinda laughed it off and said, 'I'm glad he wasn't backstage after all.'"

Sakura blinked. "Backstage?"

Ino shrugged. "Gaara was backstage, so maybe he's talking about one of their mutual friends?"

The pink haired girl said in amusement, "Nat-chan's really close to Gaara-kun, huh? They're almost connected at the hip; it's like a walking poster."

Ino laughed. "Well, they are brothers after all; Naruto is close to Kankuro too."

Hinata darted a look at a frowning Sasuke, before venturing quietly, "Naruto-sama… likes Gaara-san…?"

"What's not to like about Gaara?" Ino joked, "Although, his older brother is kinda growing on me…"

"But does… Naruto-sama… like Gaara-san in… a special way…?" Hinata asked again.

Before Ino could answer, she was interrupted by murmured acclamations going on throughout the room. Naruto had appeared out of the changing room, wearing the exact same tuxedo. But on the blond, like everything else, the formal suit seemed dangerously erotic. Iruka had done his job well; the tailoring was perfect. The slender body, the long legs in slick black, the bright hair contrasting with the dark suit, and the blue eyes being drawn out by the blue rose in his breast pocket… not to mention that the foxiest red haired man in all of Japan hung on Naruto's arm, wearing the identical tuxedo with a pink rose. The two boys made their way through the room, giving the awed VIPs salutary nods, and joined the girls.

"Ino sempai!" Naruto scampered over. He really did seem alright to Sasuke, save the fact he was already a little drunk…

"Do you need a rose datteba…" Naruto trailed off when he noticed the slightly smooshed white rose pinned over his ex-girlfriend's heart. When Ino flashed him a sheepish smile, he rolled his eyes and pouted outright. "And here I was going to be all romantic and shit… lame! Lamelamelame…"

Ino cut Sakura and Hinata off before there could be a blood bath, saying, "I stole this from Sasuke-chan. So give your rose to her."

Only at that, for the first time in weeks since Naruto had stumbled home a dumped mess, the dobe seemed to register the Uchiha. He looked long and hard at Sasuke's face and his lower lip started trembling a little. Then Naruto looked away, his look fleeting from Ino to Gaara to his own shoes. Suddenly, Naruto plucked the blue rose from his pocket and the pink rose from Gaara's and handed them over to Hinata and Sakura.

"The blue one is for you, Hinata sempai, because your hair is kinda bluish and the pink one is for you, Sakura sempai, because your hair is pink." The blond laughed uproariously and when both girls whispered a shy 'thank you', Naruto grabbed Gaara's arm and went off to join his band without a backwards glance.

"Wow, is he five? When he seems so grownup on stage…" Ino whistled under her breath, turning to a twitching Sasuke. "Hey, did you do something to that dumbass? I've never seen someone avoid another person so obviously before."

"I'll go ask him," the Uchiha said through gritted teeth, leaving Hinata and Sakura squealing over their ill begotten roses and Ino sighing in resignation.

* * *

Naruto was indeed avoiding Sasuke, and infuriatingly, as Ino had said, _obviously_ at that. When Sasuke approached, the usuratonkachi didn't walk away. He ran like he was being chased by hounds. And when he couldn't run, Gaara was always in the Uchiha's way, so the raven-haired boy couldn't talk face-to-face with the blond. And when it came time to sit down for dinner, Sasuke felt as though he had won at life because the seating cards read Shikamaru-Sasuke-Naruto-Gaara, until he noticed Naruto and Gaara pawning a Rolex watch to a waiter, who then brought a little table out and bravely set it up on the other side of the room, for the two stepbrothers to sit at for dinner – despite Temari's protests (both vocal and physical, she was also wearing a matching men's tuxedo so she seemed all the more impressive).

So when Naruto snuck off to the bathroom while Temari was talking up a storm lecturing Gaara, Sasuke moved faster than he had ever in his entire seventeen years of life. Which was pretty darn fast. He pounced on Naruto exiting the men's bathroom, pushed him back inside, and locked themselves into a toilet stall before anyone saw a raven-haired girl in a black evening dress manhandling a blond boy in a black tuxedo.

"Alright, dobe, that's it," the Uchiha hissed in unadulterated fury, his now red eyes meeting the surprised blue ones. "I get that you love a different guy, but why are you avoiding me and not Gaara? Explain."

Naruto turned bright crimson, all the way to his ears, and made a squirming gesture that Sasuke recognized because he was also a boy despite the fucking dress. Uzumaki Naruto was sporting a major hard on that was becoming very obvious through his tuxedo pants. The Uchiha stared down at it. Naruto stared down at it too.

"It's not what you think, Sasuke sempai," the dobe protested, his blush nearly blotching purple. "This is… I'm coming off my concert high so I get excited easily and… I haven't been having sex lately and… and you really look like someone so I… it's not what you think! It's not what you think!"

"What do you think I think, dobe?" Sasuke snapped because, despite the pure WTF nature of this WTF situation, his own body was starting to notice that the two boys were cramped close together in a stall with Naruto's erection pressed against his thigh.

"You think I like you but I don't. I really don't," Naruto said, his voice all high and squeaky.

"Hearing it once is more than enough, usuratonkachi." Sasuke glowered. "So what are you going to do about… your problem?"

"I… I am going to recite pi!" Naruto exclaimed. "Three point… point… what comes after three?"

"That is the worst plan I've ever heard," the Uchiha said (although he himself had already started to recite pi in his mind and had gotten to the thirty-fourth digit) and then, remembering his conversation with Hinata, Sasuke tried to reign in his anger and whisper if not gently as neutrally as possible, "Tell me who you like, dobe. Ino's brother? Does she have one? A gay Shikamaru fan? I don't fucking care at this point since I'm used to your bullshit. Who is it?"

The _Dead Last _vocal looked up at Sasuke and, this time, the longing was clear in his eyes. "I like…"

A pounding on the stall door cut him off. Temari hollered, "You think you can hide from me in the boy's bathroom? No chance, Uzumaki, get your ass out here and sing for the guests. That's part of the program; I told you about it already!"

Naruto sulked, shouting back, "I'm taking a dump!"

"You are an idol! You're not allowed to say things like that, you moron!" Temari roared. "As far as your fans are concerned, you never need to poop!"

"I'm not singing for 'em. At a live house, sure, but why do I have to sing for some suits like a windup monkey?" the blond demanded.

"Because these suits make the music industry run so GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF THE TOILET UZUMAKI NARUTO!"

When her adopted brother retreated to sullen silence, the blonde queen screamed, "I'm going to look over the stall walls like a stalker! Serious!"

Naruto panicked. "Okay, okay, okay!"

Temari snorted in satisfaction. "Coming?"

"Alright, just give me about five minutes. I'll join you in the dining room," Naruto pleaded.

"You have one minute and I'm coming back in here, got that? With a camera that has zoom," Temari said, almost affectionately.

"If you use zoom, my Johnson won't fit on one frame," Naruto jeered.

Temari laughed. "You wish."

"Fine, fine." Her stepbrother groaned. "I can choose any song to sing, right? Even if it's not _Dead Last _stuff."

"As long as it's not 'It's A Small World After All,'" Temari said, before leaving.

Naruto sighed in relief at her departure and opened the door of the stall. Sasuke pushed it shut again.

"Sasuke sempai!" the blond whined. "You heard her, she's really gonna peek… Tem doesn't bluff!"

"Who is it?" the Uchiha said through clenched teeth. "I'll let you go when I know."

"What do you care?" was the defiant answer. And before the dobe could stop himself, he'd blurted, "Go back to Shikamaru."

"You're the one who cheated on me first," Sasuke snapped.

"Cheated? How can I cheat on someone who I'm not dating?"

"Then why are you getting worked up about Shikamaru when all we did was arrive here on the same van?" the raven-haired boy said.

"I'm not getting worked up about Shikamaru," Naruto shrilled, "I'm pissed off because you're holding the door shut, sempai!"

"What's your problem, dobe? Why are you like this to me?"

"Because you are the last person in Konoha I want to date!" Naruto said, shoving the bigger boy off. "I like you and I want you, so I am afraid I'm actually going to fall for you when you like me for all the reasons I hate myself for, just like everybody else. You really turned out to be just like everybody else, so I don't even know why I feel this way. But luckily, before that could happen, I found someone to love who sees my weaknesses clearly and still helps me with my music. I was rejected, but that doesn't mean I'm going to give up. So leave me alone, Sasuke sempai!"

With that, Naruto opened and closed the stall door with a bang, leaving the Uchiha alone and finally able to answer the many questions Hinata had asked him. What would Sasuke do for Naruto? Absolutely nothing. Why should Naruto like Sasuke? No reason at all. So why should Sasuke be special? Because everything the dobe did reminded Sasuke of himself and the Uchiha could understand Naruto's pain better than anyone, from having parents who made him feel overshadowed to simply wanting to pretend to be someone else, anyone else.

Sasuke could understand Naruto, but he hadn't. He hadn't tried from the very beginning, not since he'd first met the dobe at the lightless train station. It had been dark there, so the Uchiha had pushed the usuratonkachi away and forgotten the encounter. When they had met again in high school, the blond had been in disguise so Sasuke had been outright mean to him. Only when the raven-haired boy had laid eyes on the beautiful dobe had he listened at all and fallen in love with him. So how was he different from those bitches at the live house concert then?

Worst of all, Naruto wasn't giving him time to try anymore. With the slamming of the stall door, Sasuke felt the end of their relationship. His first love was ending. Naruto was leaving.

When the raven-haired boy finally entered the dining room hall, he heard Naruto singing about broken dreams, cursed blood, and red eyes. Sasuke paused in the doorway, wondering whether or not he should even bother to enter, when he was shouldered by a man entering the hall. One he recognized immediately.

* * *

_Author's Note_: Soon, the shit will hit the fan. For those of you who worry, it'll get worse before it gets better, but it'll get better. Next chapter will be what you all are waiting for so stick around for the crack and the drama and, dare I say it?, the SasuNaru.

In the meanwhile, cheer/lobby/curse your favorite band member or groupie or cross dresser and/or tell me to update now smiley/angry/crying face by leaving a review. Thank you.


	14. Sasuke's Debut

**Disclaimer:** Naruto is drawn and written by a fantastically splendid, wonderfully cute, and very talented manga artist: the Masashi Kishimoto. (And Kishimoto-san, if you are, by the slimmest chance, reading this and somehow understanding the English, please elope with me; I will bring the bags of onigiri.)

**Chapter Rating: **PG-13

**Author's Note:** One of the big questions that'd been repeated in the reviews was "Why doesn't Naruto realize that Sasuke is truly in love with him?" or "Why did Naruto's attitude towards Sasuke change so much?" The answers to both questions are the same (or, at least, root from the same thing). Naruto is obsessed with someone being his "real fan" and, to the blond, someone is a "real fan" when they are not in love with him but only in love with his music.

As he very mistakenly says to Sasuke in chapter nine, "Sasuke sempai doesn't want my body. You don't come to my concerts because you think I'm hot. You don't ever search for photoshopped pictures of me in the nude on the internet. You just like my singing." This is all totally wrong. Sasuke probably not only searches for these hot photoshopped pictures, but makes them himself and uses them as backgrounds to his laptop. Now that Naruto knows this about Sasuke because the Uchiha said so in chapter ten, "I'm not your brother. I'm not even really your fan at all. I don't want your music or your body even. I just want you. All of you. To keep for me," Naruto is deathly afraid of Sasuke not being his "real fan". (This is just one of the reasons why both boys are messed up; there are a whole bunch of other insecurity and parent issues, which some of you really eloquently pointed out in your reviews. I'm guessing y'all are English majors or avid readers.)

Of course, Sasuke may still be sincere in his love if not his fanboy-ness, which Naruto will have to come to terms with in the following chapter if you read on. Muhahahaha.

Happy Readings!

**My E-mail:** rosesareblue at ymail dot com (Write me with any comments, questions, or suggestions. Remember, there's nothing like feedback that improves an author's moral/writing and keeps the chapters coming.)

**/ Dead / Last /**

**By Rosesareblue**

_Chapter Fourteen: Sasuke's Debut_

It all happened in slow motion. Sasuke heard Naruto's song, felt Itachi's shoulder brush against his, and knew. Uzumaki Naruto was in love with Uchiha Itachi and Sasuke would rather die a thousand times than live in a world where that was true. But even louder than Sasuke's anguished moan was Naruto's happy shout.

"ITACHI-SAN! YOU CAME AFTER ALL!"

All eyes in the room were on Itachi and Sasuke now, standing in the doorway. There was complete silence, until Temari stumbled to her feet. Shikamaru stood up to restrain her, but the busty blonde woman shook off his hands and blocked the kimono-clad stranger from making his way towards where the _Dead Last _vocal was opening his arms to him in greeting.

"You get away from him, you sicko!" Temari screamed, hysteric. "My father made it clear, my mother made it clear, and I'm going to make it clear to you for the last time! It doesn't matter one shitty bit if you're Naruto's godfather and Minato-san left him to your care – you aren't laying a finger on him! He's my brother and you won't hurt him too."

In a matter of seconds Naruto had bounded off the stage and slapped Temari across the cheek. Naruto, who had loved and respected his adopted older sister so dearly, slapped her across the cheek.

"Don't talk that way to Itachi-san! He came because I invited him!" Naruto was livid, his fists clenched at his side. "Not even you are allowed to speak to him that way, Tem. I won't allow it."

The blonde girl blinked, and stared at her adopted brother in awe. "You… you invited him? Why in the world would you…?"

"Because he's my dad's friend." Naruto's blue eyes snapped and Sasuke, watching almost mindlessly, suddenly remembered the first time he had laid eyes on the dobe. How singular he had seemed, like he was the one and only true beauty in the world. The lithe body. The golden skin. The shining hair. And those eyes like electricity, challenging everyone in the room to dare go against the fact that Naruto himself was meant to be desired and loved without any hope.

"Because he's my dad's friend," the blond said in his husky voice. "And I love him."

Temari started both laughing and crying at once, shaking her head furiously. "'Ruto, 'Ruto, please. You can love anyone in the world but him. I am begging you…"

Naruto scowled. "What do you mean by that?"

Shikamaru hugged his fiancée to him, shielding her from Itachi and Naruto. "Temari, that's enough."

"No it isn't, no it isn't." Temari's voice rose out of her sob as she struggled in Shikamaru's arms, "Get that man away from my brother, Shikamaru. Get him away from Naruto."

The guitarist pulled his fiancé back. "Tem, Tem, don't say anything…"

"Say what?" Naruto's eyes were darting from a frozen Itachi to a pale-faced Shikamaru, confusion contorting his exquisite features. "Why can't I be with Itachi-san?"

Itachi touched the blond's arm. "Naruto…"

The offensive touch was what made Temari snap, and she said for all to hear, "Because he's your dad's friend. Because he's your dad's friend and he killed both your parents. This sicko is responsible for your mom and dad's accident!"

At her words, the blonde's eyes went blank. He stumbled a little, then fainted to the floor with a crash.

* * *

Public Relations Manager Temari managed to keep Naruto's hospitalization out of the papers for a single day, and even that was an impossible feat that only _she_ could have pulled off. So the day after the concert, the news and tabloid spewed endless compliments about _Dead Last_'s latest gig, its legendary success, the band's popularity, and Naruto's ever rising popularity. The day after that, the scandals hit. About Naruto's tragic parents, talented musicians who had died before their prime. About Naruto's godfather being the famous master of the Uchiha dojo of Konoha, and the legal issues surrounding his adoptions to the great family of Sabakuno Production Company. And especially about Naruto's hospitalization. How Konoha's hottest idol hadn't been able to cope with the stress of his fame and his numerous infamous scandals, and had lost consciousness in front of all the representatives of Japan's music industry.

And this turned out to be only the tip of the iceberg. Three days after regaining consciousness and remaining completely mute, Uzumaki Naruto snuck out of the hospital and disappeared. Not only did he disappear, Uchiha Itachi vanished from Konoha on the very same day. _Dead Last_,mired in scandal and missing the very face of their band, was forced to announce its hiatus.

This broke even the strong Temari, who had to be taken in by doctors and nurses and forced sedatives. Even under the influence of heavy drugs, she'd cried wretchedly to her brothers, the band, and the girls, "Bring Naruto back. Tell him I'm sorry I failed him and bring him back safe. I don't care what happens to me but… Minato-san, Minato-san was exactly like this too!

"He loved Kushina-san with all his heart but that man, that evil man Uchiha Itachi, was supposedly his muse. His muse, ha! His band was going to him when they had their accident. Itachi's no muse; he's going to kill my baby brother too. It's Naruto's family curse, those red eyes are a curse that controls them! Bring that idiot Naruto back, bring him back! Don't let him die!"

And Sasuke had heard all this with his own ears. He'd been at Naruto's hospital too, not because the raven-haired boy cared about the dobe's wellbeing but because he suddenly didn't know what to do with himself anymore. His first and only love had ended. The sole family he had in the world was gone. The two big purposes of his life, obsession and revenge, had disappeared together. So what was Uchiha Sasuke to do now? He felt that even the annoying but familiar girls he'd had pretended to be friends with, Sakura, Ino, and Hinata, were looking at him strangely – not because they blamed him for what happened, but because he was the only one around anymore remotely linked with the scandal. This was his father's and his past love's scandal and the raven-haired boy was leftover and left utterly alone.

The only contact Naruto bothered with at all after his disappearance was his brother Gaara. The supermodel receive a text from Naruto with the words "Black Rose". The text was traced but the search proved futile, leading to one of Naruto's many work phones that was reported missing and later discovered in an airport trashcan. Shikamaru, Kiba, Chouji, and Kankuro had no idea what the words meant; and if Gaara did, he sure wasn't telling. Having received that message, the redhead packed his bags and returned to Europe without saying a word.

Uchiha Sasuke was now the only one left in Naruto's apartment. He had no interest in supporting a broken band like Sakura, Ino, and Hinata did. Especially, he had no interest in waiting for Naruto or Itachi. So the raven-haired boy sold all his possessions, his _Dead Last_ merchandise_, _and emptied his savings from his job at the music store. With that money, Sasuke as a boy with no attachments in the world left Konoha.

* * *

"Young man! You can't sleep here, get up!"

An offensive mop handle prodded the raven-haired boy's side and Sasuke opened his eyes grumpily. Over his messy hair, a cleaning lady was gaping like a fucking fish. The raven-haired boy groaned, and rolled on his side so that he was facing the back of the plastic seats.

"Oh no you don't. Get up so I can mop."

When the Uchiha just flicked her off, she dropped the mop head on his back.

The raven-haired boy sat up and shot daggers into the cleaning lady's head with his glare. "Go away."

"YOU GO AWAY!" the lady huffed, but left the fight to empty a trashcan first.

The Uchiha was seriously considering homicide, when a voice shouted, "Hey, it's Uchiha."

"What the fuck are you doing here, man? I thought you went back to inherit your dad's millions."

Sasuke looked up to see vaguely familiar faces of his classmates from his boy's boarding school days in middle school. At Sasuke's uncharacteristic disheveled state, reeking faintly of hard liquor and cigarettes, the boys were trying hard not to snicker because, though they remembered well how much the Uchiha bastard had been conceitedly disinterested in their attempts to be friends, they remembered even better their past number one student could punch the daylights out of all of them in a blink of an eye.

But the situation was too tempting for one of the boys not to venture timidly, "Still going through that rebellious stage? What does your hotshot father say about the heir to his dojo pretending to be homeless at the train station?"

More than the implied insult, the word "train station" seemed to rouse the former Uchiha heir. He looked around himself to realize in dismay that it was here that he'd first met Uzumaki Naruto, at those steps over there. His aimless wandering had led him to the place he least wanted to be, save Konoha.

At Sasuke's hardening expression, the schoolboys eep-ed and bowed profusely before hightailing it out of there. The Uchiha stumbled to his feet, trying unsuccessfully to shake off his hangover, and made his way towards the steps he'd crashed into the dobe. He sat on the top step, leaning against the concrete wall.

A fireworks of memories went through his dazed mind.

"My parents left me and now the girl I love is going to leave me too," Naruto had heaved on the night of their meeting, a mess of loneliness. "I'll have no one left. No one to love me for me, the real me. I know I don't deserve to be loved but… but I'm still so scared of being alone. I don't want to be alone anymore."

Sasuke had _known_. He'd known from the very beginning that Naruto wasn't as self-confident or as happy as he'd tried to pull off. Hiding behind awkward jokes, cracks about his own singing, and in the arms of only those girls who liked someone else, Naruto had been looking for any excuse to be rescued from himself. Sasuke had known how fragile Naruto was behind his stubborn façade, and the raven-haired boy had still left the dobe alone, making him a prize that would fill Sasuke's own loneliness…

"What the hell?" the Uchiha had said that night, "Is that all? You were always alone – we all are. You only just realized it now because you are either retarded or blessed. At least you figured it out before it's too late, dead last, so now you can actually start doing something about it."

And listening to Sasuke's own careless words, Naruto was trying his best to do something about it, but he was still scared of being alone because… who wasn't? Who didn't fear being hated, misunderstood and abandoned? And why should anyone have to _do _anything at all, to deserve love?

The Uchiha realized then he was crying, tears coming from his crimson eyes and flowing down his pale face silently. He covered his face with his hands and sat at the spot where Uzumaki Naruto had once entered his life and cried tears that had never been shed.

* * *

Temari sat with sixteen dictionaries in different languages open around her on her hospital bed. She would look up the words "black" and "rose" in every language in the world, if it came to that. If that didn't work, she would somehow hypnotize Gaara until he was forced to speak. Even if her precious baby brother had been kidnapped by a possible murderer and rapist and demon (aka Uchiha Itachi), there were still things that could be done.

What was up with the Uzumaki family, anyway? Why were all of them idiotically obsessed with Uchiha Itachi? Minato-san's doctor father, making his career out of curing a pair of dimming red eyes; Minato-san, insisting on his friendship with Itachi and writing difficult songs about crimson gazes when Temari and all of Sabakuno Production Company had begged him on their knees to focus more on popularity stunts like game shows and promotion videos; Kushina-san, letting her husband get away with it, laughing over her gleaming guitar and proclaiming friendship was the most important thing in the world; and now Naruto, obviously having been mindfucked by Itachi's goddamn red eyes, and running away to probably elope with what had killed his own parents… WHY COULDN'T THEY JUST PURCHASE RED CONTACTS OR SOMETHING AND BE DONE WITH IT?

"NARUTOOOOOOO!" the blonde PR manager screamed, hurling a Spanish dictionary so hard the IV almost came out of her arm. "WHERE ARE YOOOOOOOOOOOU?"

The door to her hospital room opened and Temari sat up in her seat. "Naruto?"

The nurse was most apologetic, especially noting the broken furniture around the room with steaming books resting on them. "U-um, there's someone who is desperate to speak to you. He keeps calling so I…"

Temari snatched the cell phone from the frightened nurse's hands and barked into it, "NARUTO? I'm so sorry. I was a jackass so please come home you stupid moron…"

An unfamiliar male voice said, "This is Sasuke."

Overwhelmed by disappointment, Temari waved away the remotely familiar name. "Do I know you? Hang up. I can't talk right now…"

The voice interrupted, "I am Uchiha Itachi's son."

"You know where your father and my brother are!" the blonde girl cheered. "Ohmigod, thank you, thank you, thank you even though I fucking hate your whole fucking family, thank you…"

"No, I don't," the voice said curtly, puncturing Temari's glee. "But, I know how to find Naruto."

Temari was more than ready to sign a pact with the devil, or in this case the evil Itachi's son, if it meant the safe return of her brother. "I'll cooperate."

"Good," Sasuke said. "Because I have a plan to get that dobe back."

* * *

Haruno Sakura slammed open her classroom door, holding a handheld television over her head like a trophy.

"_DEAD LAST_ IS BACK! THEY ARE COMING BACK!" the pink haired girl crowed.

Immediately, every girl in the classroom was crowded around her.

Ino, violently shoving the heads of her classmates aside, appeared at Sakura's left shoulder. "Naruto finally came back?"

Hinata, crawling under and between the legs of her classmates, popped up at Sakura's right shoulder. "Is he… okay…?"

"No and no. But look!"

In the tiny palm-sized screen, Temari stood with Shikamaru, Kiba, Chouji, Kakashi, and Iruka. She was introducing a lean boy wearing a simple white t-shirt and tight black jeans. Taller than Shikamaru but shorter than Kiba. Raven hair, short and spiked at the back. Not dark, but totally black. He was slender but fit, and had the toned arms of an athlete. He stood gracefully – while boasting a sort of defying arrogance of someone who cared for one and only one thing in his life. He stared down the camera with eyes the color of a crimson moon and spoke after Temari in a man's voice that crashed with his pretty face.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke, and I'm the new vocalist of _Dead Last._"

"Sasuke-san… went and had… a sex change…?" Hinata whispered, so that the startled and suddenly drooling girls behind the three couldn't hear.

"Damn that surgery went well," Ino whispered back. "She looks exactly like her cousin and her father at the same time. Maybe the Uchihas are made in factories and not really born?"

Sakura, ignoring the squealing that erupted throughout the classroom, said, "Yeah. I'm glad that _Dead Last _is back, and that Sasuke-chan is safe though her boobs obviously aren't…"

"She didn't have much breasts to begin with so it probably didn't hurt that much," Ino soothed her best friend.

Sakura nodded but still looked worried.

Hinata said what was on the pink-haired girl's mind, "I hope… Naruto-sama… wherever he is… is okay… with the news…"

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke faked a gentle laugh and tilted his chin so that the camera could get an even better shot of his strong jaw line. Thanks to the practice he'd gotten acting as a girl (the hardest role he'd ever pulled off), acting the vapid pretty boy was a cinch. At least in this scenario, he still had a dick – though not much of one, if he really were this pansy ass he played.

The blonde manager had been pretty tame, surprisingly compliant when Sasuke had said he'd join her precious band. But even Temari seemed more bent on getting Naruto back than _Dead Last_, not to mention the band members themselves. It'd been awkward explaining the cross dressing, but Shikamaru had backed him up and the band and Sabakuno family had encountered much more surprising news in their time, for instance, Naruto's being kidnapped by Itachi? Or maybe eloping with him, who knew?

The raven-haired boy had said he wanted spotlight, and damn quickly at that. Temari had booked him an interview with Hot Stuff, a celebrity program, and given him a demeaning creation of that ponytailed freak Iruka's to wear. For the interview, Sasuke was clad in some tailored cape that hung loosely about his shoulders, leaving his neck naked and his collarbones bare. His inadequately low shirt was of some black filmy material and his pants hung precariously on his hips. All in all, Sasuke felt like a prostitute. It would have been bad enough without the stupid hat. With the hat, he was the King Fruitcake of Fruitcake World.

The cursed hat effectively swept his long bangs from his face to reveal his father's features. Anyone could see the delicate cheekbones and the long black lashes of his eyes. Sasuke, who normally detested showing his face, wasn't shying away today and executing perfectly the lines Temari had coached him.

The interviewer was all a flutter from sitting so close to the erotic looking new star that might go on to beat even Uzumaki Naruto in female popularity if the newspaper predictions proved true and couldn't help giggling after every word.

"So, Sasuke-chan, to break the ice. I heard these bizarre rumors that you used to go to Konoha High as a school_girl_." The interviewer winked. "What do you think of those rumors?"

Sasuke faked another gentle laugh. "Probably some poor distant cousin of mine with the same name as me. I'm sure she's a nice girl. I'd like to meet her. I've never met someone with my name before."

"Oooh, is that a confession?" the woman teased.

"No, no. I just want to apologize to her for what might be an inconvenient coincidence," he replied chivalrously, while thinking, 'I can see your nose hairs at this angle, lady.'

"Haha, I see. So, Sasuke-chan, can I ask what type of person you really like? Romantically, I mean?"

Still not as loud of Ino, the raven-haired boy thought before saying practiced words, "I like a cute girl with a big heart. I want to cook for her every night."

The interviewer started giggling madly again and Sasuke wished someone would show some humanity and just shoot them both in the face.

"You don't mind if the girl isn't good at cooking herself?" she pressed.

'If she can't even fucking cook, why would I keep the stupid cow of a maid around?' the Uchiha wondered, while saying aloud, "Of course not. Who cares about that when we have our feelings for one another?"

When the interviewer burst out into a giddy "OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO", the raven-haired boy decided she was officially more annoying than Sakura and Hinata combined.

"Maybe this is too heavy a question," the interviewer went on, "but I'm sure _everyone _is curious. Give us your take on your father Itachi-san's and the former _Dead Last _vocalist Naruto-san's dirty dirty scandal?"

Sasuke did the gentle laugh yet again and lied effortlessly, "The only thing scandalous are all the speculations. My father was upset that I wanted to start a career in music, because he saw from his close relationship with the Sabakuno family and Naruto-kun how taxing the schedule was. Now that I've debuted, I understand why Naruto-kun wants to take a short break. The schedule's pretty tough."

"That's right. You have a live concert scheduled in only two months – at the Soundless Live House at that," she said.

"My first performance. I am very excited and trying my best," he said smoothly.

"Then, what about the alleged fight between the _Dead Last _press manager Temari-san and Itachi-san? Was it about adoption issues surrounding Naruto-san? Does that affect your practicing?" the interviewer prodded.

This bitch just didn't learn...

"Oh, just the usual spat about what's best for me and my future," Sasuke said with gentlemanly politeness. "After all, we are one big happy family. What's on the papers are just technical stuff, especially when a family is made up of bonds mere scraps of paper can never capture."

All in all, the Uchiha walked away from the Hot Stuff interview with the opposite image of Uzumaki Naruto. While Naruto's charm had been his bluntness, his charisma, his boyish charm contrasting with his sex appeal, and his cuteness, Sasuke came off as gentle (ha!), mature, erotic, and elegant. After the take, the Uchiha sat with Kakashi teasing Iruka off the set, proud of himself for putting them all under his illusion, when the interviewer lady accosted him.

"Thanks for your hard work, Sasuke-san," she cooed, leaning forward to show off her impressive cleavage. "How about we go out for a drink? On me?"

The raven-haired boy didn't bother replying, turning to Kakashi and Iruka. "Let's leave. It's noisy here."

The interviewer stared after the disappearing men, thunder shocked and wondering how such a pretty boy could be so twofaced.

* * *

Temari came to find Sasuke at Naruto's apartment, where the raven-haired boy had been living since his return to Konoha, almost kick opening the door when he had unlocked it.

"Where the fuck is Naruto?" Temari demanded, "I listened to everything you said because you sounded positive that it'd bring that idiot back and all you've been doing for these past two fucking months is appearing on one superficial celebrity show after another and fake being so nice it's sick!"

The Uchiha rolled his eyes, not bothering to offer her a seat. "You think I enjoy being baby-talked to by ugly women wearing too much makeup? No wonder Naruto cracked, if you had him doing this shit even half the time."

At that, the blonde woman covered her ears and blubbered, "Don't say that, don't say that. I feel guilty enough."

The raven-haired boy wasn't sympathetic. "Naruto will come back after the concert. If that's all you came to ask, you can show yourself out now."

"About the gig too," Temari said. "Why don't you to come to one practice at least? Kiba's been complaining to me nonstop and it's a bitch."

"Yeah? Well these repetitive interviews are necessary to quiet the scandal made by your losing it in front of those big shots," Sasuke hissed, making the older girl blotch an uncharacteristic red. "And tell your loud bassist not to worry and shut up. I have all of _Dead Last_'s songs memorized by heart."

The blonde seemed skeptical, but let it go with the question, "You are sure Naruto will come back after the concert?"

"Yeah." The raven-haired boy sighed, looking up at the pictures of Naruto with his parents, the Sabakuno family, and his bandmates still hanging from the walls. "Let me ask you a question? Did my bastard father really kill Naruto's parents?"

"Just about," the blonde girl spat. "I never knew what the big deal was with your freaky dad, I mean, he's one hell of a hottie but so what? There're loads of them in this business… but maybe musicians see things differently. I wouldn't know. Minato-san, Naruto's dad that is, was obsessed with your dad, maybe more than Naruto himself but in a different way… Anyway, supposedly you ran away from home once…"

"Not once," Sasuke smirked, but with no joy. "Countless times."

"Well, every countless time, Minato-san would hurry over to keep your dad company so he wouldn't feel alone or whatever, and one of these times was right after his mainstream debut gig. Minato-san had the band's van turn around to head to the dojo after getting Itachi's call, and that's when they had their accident." Temari's eyes filled with tears at the memory but her voice was snide, "So, the band's muse and unofficial mascot is responsible for killing them all, on the eve of what could have been the making of one of the greatest rock musicians in Konoha history. That's your father."

The Uchiha felt as though he understood his estranged father for the first time in his entire life. Sasuke had resented Itachi because he'd always suspected he didn't love his mother, and by extension Sasuke himself. Itachi was always distant, aloof, and cold. And now the raven-haired boy knew that that coldness didn't sprout from Itachi's hatred of Sasuke, but Itachi's having lost maybe the one person he'd truly ever cared about. Whoever Minato-san was, his father had loved a married man without hope of ever being loved back in the way he wanted, only to lose the said man by his own accidental doing…

And, in the aftermath of that history, there was Sasuke and Naruto.

"I will bring Uzumaki Naruto back with my singing," the raven-haired boy told Temari with authority that surpassed even hers. "So make sure you have the rest of the band prepare. Also, send out tickets to your brothers, especially Gaara."

Temari rolled her eyes. "Gaara's not going to come. He prefers silence, if it's not Naruto singing."

"Send them anyway."

The blonde manager wanted to believe that this dark stranger could truly bring back her missing baby brother and agreed.

* * *

"What an impressive crowd," a very dirty Ino told a very dirty Sakura. The girls had gotten their live tickets through Hinata through Kiba, and had decided not to risk missing their former girl friend's debut by skipping two days of classes and camping out in front of the live house to be first in line. They looked like shit, but hey. Sasuke had seen them pluck their eyebrows and shave their pits in the bathroom during breaks; it wasn't like she-now-he was going to be impressed with their beauty now.

A very dirty Hinata looked at the crowd behind her and sighed dejectedly, "It's like… they forgot… all about Naruto-sama… only a few months… ago… those plank cards… read Naruto-sama's name… and not Sasuke-san's…"

"You got to hand it Sasuke-chan, though, she, he, really knows how to work it," Sakura said. "I watch all the stuff, she, he, ugh! Will I ever get this down? Anyway, I watch Sasuke-chan's shows and I don't know who the person doing that gentle laugh is. I mean, with us, it was like she was on PMS all the time, wasn't it?"

"No kidding," Ino agreed. "PMS to end all of PMS."

"Being in love… changes people…" Hinata spoke in Sasuke's defense.

"So does getting a sex change," Sakura said wisely.

When they entered the concert hall, the set up was hauntingly same as the last time save that the band was already on stage, wearing casual jeans and shirts. Ino noted, with a sinking heart, that there were rings under Shikamaru's eyes that couldn't quite be hid by foundation. Sakura noticed that Chouji had lost a lot of weight, and looked weary. And Hinata worried about the cross look on Kiba's face as he practically ripped at his bass while tuning it.

"U – CHI – HA – SA – SU – KE! U – CHI – HA – SA – SU – KE!" the chanting started, followed by screaming.

"CHOUJI-SAMA! LOOK THIS WAY! I LOVE YOU!"

"SASUKE-CHAN, I CAN EAT ANYTHING YOU COOK FOR ME!"

"SHIKAMARU IS MINE!"

"MY HEART'S REALLY BIG, SASUKE! THE DOCTORS SAY SO!"

"KI – BA – KI – BA – KI – BA!"

"GYAAAAAAAAAAH, GIVE US UCHIHA SASUKE!"

"SASUKE'S WAY BETTER THAN NARUTO! YAAAAAY SASUKE!"

At that last remark, calm docile Hyuuga Hinata whipped around and punched the screamer in the face.

"Hi-Hinata-chan!" Sakura shrieked, as Hinata threw herself on the fallen girl and smacked her repeatedly with her Chanel purse.

"Take… that… back!" the pearly eyed girl shrilled, even when the attacked girl's friends pulled Hinata off by her hair. The Hyuuga heiress gritted her teeth and shouted, "Take that… back… how dare you… insult… Naruto-sama!"

Ino and Sakura pushed the other girls off Hinata, and the three girls faced off a horde of angry fangirls. The girl who'd screamed, now supporting a black eye, shrilled, "What the fuck is your problem, you crazy bitch?"

"Don't call my friend a crazy bitch, you crazy bitch!" Sakura snapped back. "Or I'll bruise your other eye!"

The imminent catfight was interrupted by the appearance of one Uchiha Sasuke. He stalked out on stage, and stood up straighter so that everyone in the crowded hall could see all he was wearing was a pair of pants that hung low at his hips. The boy wasn't even wearing shoes; beneath the black jeans, his feet were bare. The brunet's shirtless-ness showed off the flawless white skin, the toned chest, and the slim waist. The way a silver key hanging from his neck emphasized his naked neck and accented collarbone. While the three girls were reminded that this had been Naruto's exact look at the first concert they'd taken their raven-haired girl friend too, the hall broke out into one deafening scream of desire.

If the Uchiha saw his former classmates in the audience, he didn't show any sign of it, violently grabbing the mike before him and nodding to Chouji who hit the beginning beats.

And then the raven-haired boy opened his mouth and sang a stanza of his favorite _Dead Last_ song: "In a world full of strangers, all I know is you."

It was epic, the reaction of the crowd. They stood absolutely still, mouth dropped open, as if the sky and earth had changed places. Chouji dropped a drumstick and Kiba was plain gaping. Even Shikamaru had stopped playing, staring aghast at the wonder that came out of the erotic raven-haired boy's mouth.

It really was a wonder how someone with such a glorious speaking voice could be so goddamn awful at singing. Sasuke sang with no pitch or tune. It was the worst sound anyone had ever heard and the horror was the Uchiha sang on and on, totally ignoring the stupefied expressions of everyone around him.

At one point, when the cursing started spreading through the crowd, Kiba all out sobbed, "Stop, man. For all that is holy, please stop now."

But Uchiha Sasuke just flicked him off and continued with the song. Halfway through, the audience started to disband, some bolting out of the live house with their hands over their ears. The three girls were rooted in place by their utter shock, thinking collectively how, in retrospect, it was a blessing Sasuke had rejected all their offers to go with them to karaoke. And still the raven-haired boy sang a song that should be impossible coming out of such a pretty body, all the way to the fucking end. If it were in the United States, the performance would have surely counted as "a cruel and unusual punishment".

When he was done, Sasuke swiped the single bead of sweat rolling down his creamy skin and said into the mike, "You listening, dobe? That one was for you."

A staff hand rushed to steal the microphone from the raven-haired boy, lest he start singing again, but the Uchiha heir simply shoved him off the stage and continued talking.

"This popularity thing is pretty damn easy," Sasuke sneered into the cameras. "I might have been more popular than you as of yesterday since I'm that fucking good looking, aren't I? Lots of your stupid fans converted to being my fan, usuratonkachi. Did you know that?"

The raven-haired boy paused and a sarcastic smile, but a real one, lifted the corners of his lips.

"But I can assure you that, as of tomorrow, I won't be popular at all, not with my singing. Now that I've proven to you that your singing's important, quit whining like a fucking bitch, Naruto, and come back home. Come back home or I'm going to remain the vocal of _Dead Last_ and destroy your shitty band."

With that confession, Uchiha Sasuke shoved the microphone away so it toppled off stage and walked out of the spotlight.

* * *

When the raven-haired boy returned to the apartment four days after his notorious concert, Naruto was sitting on the leather sofa as though he had never left. On the Uchiha's entrace, the blond rose to greet him.

"Gawd, Sasuke sempai. I've never been so embarrassed in my entire life. I hid my face during the entire plane ride here in case people associated me with your crappy singing. Did a cat die in your throat when you were a baby or something?"

The Uchiha dropped the grocery bags in his hand and pulled the blond towards him – to slug him hard in the face.

"Damnit, sempai, I have to use this face for work!" Naruto wiped at his bloody nose and realized his lip was broken too. "Holy shit!"

Sasuke crouched down next to where the dobe had fallen and yanked the bleeding boy into a hug.

"Never do that to me again, usuratonkachi, or I'll kill you," the raven-haired boy spoke into Naruto's neck.

"By singing to me again?"

"Yeah."

And at that, the blond started crying, not because of the pain but from sheer gladness of the other boy's presence. He clutched the bigger boy's shoulders and sobbed, "I am home, Sasuke."

Sasuke's embrace tightened, trapping Naruto to him.

"Okaeri, dobe."

_Welcome home, dead last._

* * *

_A/N:_ And that's chapter 14! The title of the next chapter is going to be "Naruto's Love"; lots to reveal from Naruto's side of things. Please, please review. They really help me churn out the pages and keep the updates coming. I'm sure those of you who write know that encouragement is a powerful thing.

As always, thanks for your interest in _Dead Last_.


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